how can i make my mom act like a freaken MOM!!!!! listen to my nite in vegas!?

Question

well me and my like 40 other family members went to vegas this weekend for a family outting! well, i was stuck baby sitting with my cousins while my mom, twin brother kevin and all my cousins partied! anywaz it was 5 hours later and i was standing out side of mandaly bay hotel waiting for my grandpa to come in when i saw my brother drunk as i dont know what in the back of the taxi with goggles on and some stupid joker hat on, tapping on the taxi door singing barney,with my 45 year old mother sitting in the front seat with that long cup of liquir allowing him to be drunk!!!! i was like "mom! my bro is drunk! and he's 14!" and she was like "well i am a cool mom" i hate her! she never acts like a mom. she acts like a teenager everyday, and believes having a boyfriend & being popular is better than getting good grades! i need a mom!! not a fake boobed third sister! what can i do to get my mom where she is suppose to be! advice people!

my mom had a perfect childhood she is just wild! and she doesnt abuse me or anything shes just.............

Answer 1

Find an "adopted" one. Honestly, there is nothing you can do to make her grow up. Do your best, find someone to help support you, and remember this when you have kids

Good luck

Answer 2

You can never change your parents, unfortunately. I've learned this the hard way. Sadly it takes a harsh slap in the face by reality to actually help them grow up.

You could always try to catch her when she's sober and explain how you feel. If that doesn't work, shrug it off and say that you tried. But then there is the well being of your brother to consider. Explain to him that this is not normal, that your mom is not *normal* and that it's not okay for her to be this way. In a way my mom is a cool mom, but she had boundaries on what was cool and what was not. Letting me and my brother drink alcoholic beverages was *not* cool when we were minors was most definately *not* cool.

As I said, sadly it takes something bad happening that wakes people like your mom up to reality and help them grow up. Heaven forbid anything happens in your family like that, but that's what it usually takes. The most I can suggest is be an example to those around you and show that you are mature enough to know what's right and wrong. Maybe someday your mom will notice that maturity and may come to realize that she had been wrong and may respect you a little more.

Answer 3

Kent Ishii is on the right path. I don't know about consoling the mother, but it's time to sit her down and tell her how ripped off you are feeling that you don't have a MOTHER who supports you and disciplines you and teaches you how to do well in this world.

I'll tell you what will happen though. I have a mother who was never into partying that much and she didn't have fake boobs or try to be my age, per se. She just turned the tables on our relationship when I was 13 and I became "her friend" and from that point on, I never had a mother. I was mothering my mother! I no longer talk to her (we only e-mail now and rarely at that) because I got ripped off. A person only gets one mother. We can make our own friends, and she should have her own friends as well. I have a BIG complaint about mothers who do this to their children. The unspoken job when getting pregnant with a child is to protect, teach, and nurture that child. The job is called PARENTING, not friend-shipping!

I hope she wakes up and gives you the mother you need. But if she doesn't, you will need to look elsewhere for your support system.

Also read a book on co-dependency from Melody Beattie, you will understand what it takes to take care of yourself when you are around unhealthy people.

Best of luck to you. I feel for you.

Peace.

Answer 4

There is not really a whole lot you can do...its best just to let things take they're coarse. You seem to have a good understanding of what is right and wrong? So just use her as an example of what you should not do when and if you have children. You confronting her on this is not going to make the situation any better. Just try to be a good rolemodel as I'm sure you are for your brother. One day your mom will realize what she has done and will come crawling back to you in forgiveness. I would not support her behavior if I was you..but use it as fuel to keep you going in the right direction...know that as you go in the other direction and continue to do good and truly seperate your life from her life...she will see and she will feel guilty because she didn't take an active role in your development. Just keep your head up...and don't let her hold you back.

Answer 5

wow.. thats really allot for a 14yr old to have to deal with.

I have similar issues with my mom.. she is a teenager caught in a grandmothers body! .. sometimes I feel bad for her. .. you see, in my case, my mother got married and had children before she was even an adult. married and having kids at 16, so basically she stopped growing in that area when her childhood was cut short and since has always been stuck in that "fun first" stage. I dont know if this is your moms problem but you have to just love her the way she is and support her in wherever she is in life.
Its the only life she has and you should encourage healthy lifestyles but as far as anything else is concerned just love her and pray for her and maybe talk to some other adults when you feel that you need support that your mom might not be able to give you. Im sorry this is so frustrating for you , but you seem to have a great head on your shoulders to spite the lax parenting skills of your mother. Be strong and be safe.. and be forgiving, she is the only mother you will ever have .

Answer 6

There are no legal requirements to have kids. You don't have to be a certain age, you don't have to have a license, you don't even have to have common sense! I am not sure that your mom is going to change, but is there another family member that is more responsible that you might be able to look to and get advice from that would be someone you could kind of think of as a parent figure? Keep up the good work on your own life though, and don 't give up on being the mature, common sense person you seem to be!

Answer 7

Be blunt with her. Say what you think. Tell her it's ******' retarded and she needs to be a mom or get your family to help. Tell her you want a mom, not an old person acting like a teenager. And how come you get stuck babysitting and your bro was drunk? Talk to her about everything that bugs you, show her what you need. Make sure she knows that a "cool mom" knows the boundary between cool and irresponsible.

Answer 8

you know the best thing to do in that kind of sitution is to talk to your mom heart to heart coz thats the only way you can understand why is acting as if she's 18. you also have to tel her how you really feel towards her action, tel her that you dont need a sister but a mother who will guide her kids. dont forget to tell her that there is a thin line between being a cool mom and irresponsible, manipulative, immature freaking mom.

i just hope one of this day you can clear those issues up with your mom..anyway she is your mother.

Answer 9

I would tell your Mom what you have told us-- be gentle-- she needs to know how her actions are hurting you!! It sounds like she has some issues from her teen years, maybe, that were never resolved?? Perhaps you could suggest some family counseling-- being a "cool mom" does not include getting a 14-year old drunk!!

Answer 10

You can try to talk to your mother but in general, people don't change. What you can do is try to conduct yourself in a manner that you know is right. If your mother behaves in an abusive way that you think will harm your family, you could report her but you should be prepared to face the consequences. Sometimes, a visit from children's services will be a wake-up call for a parent.

Answer 11

OMG!!! You undesirable element... not purely are you plagued with going to college finished-time as a sparkling mom, now you've your own mom breaking all the care-taker regulations, then forcing her nasty, now to not coach lazy, conduct on your own baby. my own son is two a million/2 and hasn't ever tasted a sauce in his existence! Why furnish calorie and sodium packed sauces in case you do not could? and then to make you freshen up after a multitude you do not approve of to commence with is an entire smack contained in the face. My son is fortunate to get chocolate milk some cases a month basically because i do not choose him to get used to a doctored up version of something he needs each day. She's were given the right concept that that's a grandma's interest to ruin yet at the same time as that's their interest to help look after them each day then it is your mom's duty to advance them each day, unlike they're residing on the weekends. i do not dispute that that's a sturdy concept to enable her make certain out a thanks to feed herself (with slightly resign hand help), yet it is not any free experience to enable an already overweight infant proceed in this route. to that end i imagine that Grandma has "lengthy gone wild" and he or she is in no case to overmind your authority as a figure to ascertain what she could devour, or drink (innovations you, my son at 2 a million/2 has purely drank pop by technique of operating up and stealing drinks from others). by technique of how, letting your mom replace your daughter's clinical professional to correlate including her own nasty conduct is a definte mistake!!! i comprehend it will be demanding to confront your mom yet she needs to maintain in mind that there is a barrier between commonplace and grandma's spoils. sturdy luck to you!