I lost a very close friend 10 years ago. After his passing, I became very close friends with his family. Over the years, I have lost touch with them, and miss them terribly. I talked to his mother about a year ago and she was doing so well for the first time in years. I'm afraid that if I contact them, it'll bring back bad memories. Is it okay to contact them, or should I avoid them, and let them "move on"?
2006-08-07 20:21:45 · 16 answers · asked by munkees81 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Come on...if you miss them that much just contact them! You can always revisit the past with them...just don't revisit the negative stuff....We all have good and bad memories to tell...concentrate on the positive and nothing will go wrong. If you were close to them, I bet that they'll be more than thrill to see you again! So don't miss another minute and contact them.
2006-08-07 20:26:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thought is appreciated. Yet, as it has already been 10 years now since the event....time must have surely healed the wounds. You should definitely meet them and share/ cherish the best moments you ever had with your close friend. 10 years is enough time for anyone to move on in life.
Most often, if we anticipate the course of events, we tend to retreat a helping hand or an ear that listens. Perhaps, your friend's mother is longing to refresh some memories or the good times she had with her son. You should go ahead and get in touch with your friend's family members. Talking to people and meeting them in the times when they most need will always help and it will not mar any relationship. When I lost my mother, there was none to even talk to. That's when I missed her most. Now I have a realization that I should actually meet people and share the emotional burden/ try and fill the void that has taken place due to death of a loved one.
Believe me, talking helps!
2006-08-07 20:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by Chief of sinners 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless there is something you're not telling us I don't see how your presence would cause them bad memories. The key to getting over a death is not to try and forget the person ever existed. Its impossible to do that and unhealthy to try. Its better to keep those parts of them still with us that give us happiness, like the relationships that formed around them and the good things they helped make happen.
2006-08-07 20:30:53 · answer #3 · answered by tenaciousd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you assuming that their son is a bad memory? Perhaps you haven't moved on, stop looking over your shoulder, contact them with good news about your present life and move forward with them, always free to talk about happy memories you shared with your friend and enthusiasm about the future.
2006-08-07 22:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by freckles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you became close friends after the passing, then you should continue to be a friend if you truly are one. What if all friends drifted apart after a tragedy because they didn't want to be reminded of it? Not a good thing, right?
2006-08-07 20:29:30 · answer #5 · answered by Grist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing would probably be for you to contact them, and tell them how you feel. Maybe they miss you just as much as you miss them? You'll never know until you contact them and find out.
2006-08-07 20:27:29 · answer #6 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing is wrong if u get in touch with them still, they have learned to moved on, which all of us should. You should move on too, and not bring back past hurts; bring back the memories, but not the hurt....
2006-08-07 20:41:31 · answer #7 · answered by The Punisher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-29 00:59:22 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should keep in contact with them. there are probably more good memories than bad ones. think of the good ones as often as you can. also,you need something else in your life to distract you from those bad memories.
2006-08-07 20:27:05 · answer #9 · answered by Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop them a postcard and tell them it would be
great to hear from them.
( you are listed in the local phone book ? )
or send them a short letter with your information
and hope for a reply.
if there is no reply,
move on.
that is all you can do.
you had a heart for your friend
and that friend will always be in your heart.
good luck.
2006-08-07 20:29:34 · answer #10 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋