Being the most insecure human being there is ...?

Question

i just keep getting the idea that everybody hates me ... i keep my distance from everybody and always seem to be emotionally constipated ...sometimes i really make ppl hate me to prove myself right. I'm generally good looking but i never take myself seriously.. What should i read, do besides getting counselling (can't afford it)

Answer 1

You seem to be very self-centered, very inward looking. The next time your talking to someone try focusing on them and let your ego fade into the background. Try to be genuinely interested in the other person, then if they still don't like you it's their problem. You can't please all the people all the time, but respect and consideration is a two-way street. I wish you the best.

Answer 2

I am pretty sure that you didn't just start feeling this way...most likely someone has put you down in your life and that started the whole thing. I think everyone has been there at least once in their life. It sounds like someone has hurt you ....someone close to you....people can be cruel..I'm not sure why...probably because they are not happy with their own life ,so they need everyone around them to be miserable too. First of all you need to know that you are special...you were put on this earth for a reason. God did not just create you to make it on your own...none of us could survive that. I think you push people away....because you don't have to be hurt then. It's easier to make other people think you don't care then they can never hurt you in any way. No one really wants to be hated you were not created that way..we all have a need for someone to love us and to believe in us. Once you have started doing this it is so hard to break down that wall. If you can not afford to talk to someone , try a local Church..they often have free help and it could completly change your life. I have some websites that are great joycemyer.org....paulawhite.org....joelolsteen.org. I am a Mom and my son had the same problem.. I'm not sure where it all started but with alot of prayer, alot of I love yous, and time , He now is great. He now flys airplanes ( a dream he has always had and he is very young ) Try a new hobbie that you think you would love to do and throw yourself into that...also volenteer work is great , when you help someone you forget about your own insecurities and focus on others. Open up your heart and let someone in...you will not believe how awesome it feels. Start dreaming ...and know how Awesome you are...God made you like that. No-one or nothing can change that!!!!!

Answer 3

I disagree that you are insecure if you get the idea everyone hates you. That is an ego-trip. Most people don't know you exist, and that's fine with them. I agree, however, that you probably do make people hate you to prove yourself right about the idea that people hate you. It's a way to feel important, because only important people are worth the energy of hating.

Now, having said all that, we need to look at why you are seeing yourself as so dark side. Is it because Darth Vader and Voldemort have made the dark side fashionable? Or Anne Rice and her vampires, and all the Goth black leather? The fact is, real witches and wizards know that the dark side is something to fight against, not something to embrace. The evil you do, like the good you do, returns to you three-fold. So if you harm someone else, even with just your hostility and emotional turmoil, that feeling multiplied by three and returned to you could be enough to make you truly insane, or even to kill you.

No, you don't need expensive counseling. But you do need to study the defense against the dark arts that is the real thing, not the shadow of it that is mentioned in Harry Potter. You need to purify your mind and your life from the negative emphasis that is eating you up. And you need, ultimately, to turn toward light and love. I am assuming you are male; I am further assuming that a priestess of the craft can cure you. Seek earnestly for help from the Lady of Light, because this self-destructive pathway can lead nowhere but down.

Is there an occult bookstore in your town? If not, try the nearest large city. And as to reading, I will not advise directly, but recommend you contact one of the several Yahoo Groups that are concerned with magical arts: Abbotts Inn School of Magic, Druid/Wicca Coven, the Great Wild Beast Furtherment Society (although please be aware that it is a difficult pathway), or one of the others. I belong to those three, as do a couple of my old friends who are more up on the current library of magic and witchcraft than I am.

But get help; you do indeed need it.

Answer 4

You are exhibiting a form of "paranoia" and should be seen first by a clinical psychologist.

On the other hand there maybe a very valid reason why you feel this way... but unless you get counseling you'll get worse and become a recluse! Not Good !! So actively seek help or find a cave and crawl in...it's up to you. Either seek to understand and alter your behavior or be controlled by it's irrationality? What say you?

Answer 5

this is a very common problem among adolecents (and adults, for that matter) The good thing is that you recognize you have this problem, and even see that you have behavior that contributes to it.

I would suggest searching for free therapy. Some churches offer support groups. Even if you're not religious, it might be helpful to look into. That way you would have someone to talk to about it, or at least a group leader could steer you in the right direction.

You might try to search the net for excercises you can do yourself. (In order to overcome this problem, you need to change the way you think. in a way you have to completely redo your mind. its called 'positive self talk')

Be strong. You can get through his. Be good to yourself. Be positive. If you think 'i cant do this' say 'yes, i can. or i can at least try' if you think 'everyone hates me' say 'how do i know that?' do people actually walk up to you and say 'i hate you' on a daily basis? i doubt it. Be nice, be open, and people will like you.

Remind yourself of things youre good at (hobbies, sports, art) and know that you deserve friendship. Stop denying yourself that. You need some self respect, and to learn to love yourself. I know i make it sound simple, but you know its a long struggle. But you CAN DO IT. Just believe in yourself.

Here's some links to get you started:

Answer 6

I suffer wt that a lot too so I know wht u r going thru. Hang in there..thngs will luk up. 2 good bks to read 'Life Strategies by Dr. Phil McGraw and Norman V Peale's 'The Power of Positive Thinking'
make a few frnds, but gud ones..those that will luv u for who u r and not WHat u r. This helped me a lot..knowing I can show my faults but still be accepted made me see myself differently.

Answer 7

start asking yourself what makes you insecure. why? is it your physical features? your mental deficiency, your social ineptness or other reasons that make you insecure, confront yourself with the reason why and answer them as honestly as you can. then, slowly go around it, respond to it in a positive way with the intention of improving yourself and your social relationships. don't keep your distance to other people, that is not the right response to it or you'll just make it worse. reach out, touch someone, be a friend. you can only gain friends if you are also open for friendships. develop your natural skills and talents, hone them, and use them to your advantage. one at a time. don't rush. developing the person that you are will take time. just be patient and you'll get good results in the end. good luck.

Answer 8

there are tons and tons of books out there on self-acceptance, selt-esteem, you name it. i would suggest just going to the bookstore and camping out in the self-help aisle until you come across some who catch your attention - i doubt there could be any books that *wouldn't* help. books are definitely cheaper than counseling, and as long as you are committed to the idea of helping yourself out of this cycle, you will succeed. it will take time and you will have to "practice" accepting yourself a little more each day. after time you will come to see there is nothing about you which is any less worthy of acceptance than any other person on this planet. best wishes.

ps - the book by dr. phil that the person above mentioned is called "self matters". i also read that, and definitely agree that it could help, even if you don't do the exercises. also, as cliche as it might seem, watching dr. phil regularly could help you, too. he gets to the heart of issues and offers real life answers. and it's free!

Answer 9

People who are sad OFTEN are clinacally diagnosed as being depressed, bi-polar, anxiety disorder, etc. I think a lot of that is BS!! People who are so USED to feeling a certain way become ADDICTED to it. Just like it sounds like you're completely addicted to EXPECTING people to hate you. Why?

Start your day out telling yourself you're going to be happy dammit, no one else can make it that way but you. And if it doesn't work, then I guess, read the books - they're just motivational in the long run, and again, nobody can motivate you like you can do it for yourself.

Answer 10

You like to isolate, but the only reason you notice and point it out here is that you don't like it. You want to be among people, but don't feel comfortable. Work on yourself and make yourself more talented, strong, athletic, whatever it is that you feel is your strength. I think you'll pick up social skills when you have a chance if you are comfortable with who you are.