Are you familiar with the 5 rules of Christianity?

Question

Rule #1: "All humans are worthless scum who should be tortured forever in hell by the loving God who created them.
Rule #2: Anything good that happens is because of God and anything bad that happens is because of you. i.e. Heaven which God created? All the credit goes to God! Hell, which god created? All the blame goes to us!
Rule #3: Because God created people who disappointed Him so much, He committed suicide over them. (Now granted some might regard this as a somewhat showy and unbalanced gesture for attention from someone who knows He can't actually die but that is why the 4th rule is: It's not supposed to make sense! This is axiomatic with the 5th Rule: We are too stupid to understand God's reasons, but he will torture us in hell for misconstruing his perfect yet oblique will.
Thanks Jesus!

Answer 1

Dude this is a funny and insightful look into the hypocrisy of organized religion. Many many people will look at this as blasphemy. I think you are right to question what is obvious because the bible was NOT written by God, it was written by man. Period. Because most western religions base their belief on this book I think it is righteous that we should have a firm grasp on it's inaccuracies. If I could give you ten points I would!!!

Answer 2

My response:
#1 - They don't go to hell if they realize that only through Jesus they can be saved.
#2 - Good AND Bad come from Job. That is a misunderstood reasoning. But it is only viewed as bad to the recipient.
#3 - I'm just puzzled by what you mean. Yes, God created all of us. But what would you rather watch, a box full of Barbie's, a computer game of Sims (where you know the outcome within reason) or your own child who has the choice to love you or not. Don't think God is stupid, you are a fool to think so.
#4 - Things we DON'T know or DON'T need to know aren't. God gave us His Word. Understand that, but you will need an open heart first!!
#5 - No, we are not too stupid. It is REALLY simple. Know Jesus died to save the world from sin. KNOW that the world cannot be saved without him. Open your heart and trust in God. EASY!!!!

Answer 3

lemme guess, you're an atheist.

Honestly don't you have better things to do with your time than to mock religion, especially Christianity?

how about the five rules of atheism-
1. Make fun of Christianity more than any other religion, even though you don't believe in any of them.
2. Be as offensive as possible to religious people. Then you'll seem really smart!
3. Maniacally twist every single religious idea until you have what you want.
4. Think that everyone who believes in a God is a hopeless idiot.
5. Post it all on yahoo answers

Answer 4

You seem to have a really negative view of Christianity.
Let me see if I can help? :)
1 - God loves us and we're not worthless
2 - God created Heaven & Hell (and claims both) but our actions put us in one or the other
3 - God knew we'd disappoint Him before He made us (just like a parent knows his/her children won't always be perfect) but He loved us enough to make us anyway and provided a way for us to be with Him in Heaven through His plan of salvation which involved the sacrifice of His son
4 - It makes a lot of sense and it's all in the Bible
5 - Humans aren't stupid - we have been given great minds to read and understand God's Word, which I hope that you do someday because I'd like you to be in Heaven to! :)

Answer 5

You try to be smart but unhappy and disgruntled, for sure. If God created the universe He has the right to do what He wants with it, including its people.
The Bible puts it plainly that God is LOVE and He loves people.
He has given freedom to mankind at the same time put conditions so that mankind will be responsible for their actions.
You don't have to make up rules for God, but just try to understand what He is trying to tell you.
Don't be a pessimist, God isn't. He wants you to take the opportunity to know Him and trust Him rather than blame Him for your sadistic state.

Answer 6

It is unfortunate that you had to show your resentment here but you are not alone. Many born Christians prefer to remain sideline on these issues.

I suppose if you are living in the earlier centuries certainly you will be handed to the inquisition committee.

I believe a true religion cannot be rejected by its followers on a hysterical scale.

Answer 7

Inspired by your show of tolerance. I'm always so moved and amazed by the tolerance of non-christians. I've always been taught that non-christians are much more tolerant and respectful of others and their beliefs than christians are. And lo, here is this lovely example. Ah, you must be so proud of how loving, kind, and tolerant you are. Did you take time to meditate and center yourself before making this show of love and tolerance for people of different beliefs than your own? When are you going to do the same for Jews and for Muslims? I can't wait to see those posts. Oh, yes, and for homosexuals, and pagans, and wiccans? Those too should be lovely.

Answer 8

I feel like I am in the movie scream....

You know when they are yalkin (mix of talkin & yakin, it's not a typo) about the scary movie laws or something...

Darn it, just when you think you got it all figured out someone (obviously teacher's pet) from Bible school has to go & touch on subject material you missed on the one day that you weren't there!

Thank You, Jesus....
I am going to Disneyland anyway!

Answer 9

The Gnostic church got here first. We believe that women folk and men are equivalent, and that God is both guy and lady at the same time. The Catholic church is a spin off of the Gnostic church. between the first Catholic bishops hated women folk and rewrote the Bible to copy this. he's the only which wrote Mary Magdalene as a prostitute. She is actual Jesus' mate and equivalent. Jesus Christ is the word of God, and Mary Magdalene is the understanding of God. you could't have one without the different. King James also rewrote the Bible to in structure his own beliefs. The maidservants and menservants he talks about are slaves, which allowed human beings in choose of slavery to say that it replaced into contained in the Bible. he's the only which replaced it so as that adultery replaced into particularly a lot a lady's sin. in accordance to him, a lady replaced into committing adultery merely about anytime she replaced into with someone, no matter if she replaced into married or no longer and no matter if she knew he replaced into married or no longer. a guy replaced into in straightforward words committing adultery if he replaced into married and it will be shown that he knew the female replaced into married, except the married woman replaced right into a slave. Then she replaced into belongings and distinct regulations and sins word. with the help of ways, We believe the god of the former testomony replaced right into a demiurge, or demigod, and under no circumstances the actual God. i believe he stripped Adam and Eve of all understanding and locked it contained in the apple so as that they could be like animals and worship him blindly without question. Many Gnostics believe that the serpent replaced into actual the first carnation of Jesus. The section about menstrual cycles being element of Eve's punishment under no circumstances made experience to me. Many different animals bleed quicker or later of their cycle. dogs bleed throughout ovulation, for instance. also, the overall time a lady bleeds is 3 to 5 days, no longer 7. a guy absolutely wrote that section.

Answer 10

I did not know that. You make excellent points which make very good sense. Your suicide analogy was hilarious. I would like to modify that and say that Jesus committed "suicide by Pharisees".