A woman friend of mine, who is 40 and divorced, is seriously involved with her boyfriend, but is still very close friends (mostly by email) with a married man. They met after he was married but before the boyfriend was around.
They communicate almost every day but the wife doesn't know anything about it. She told her boyfriend they are just friends but doesn't know or talk to the wife.
Also they will each travel 45 minutes to meet half way for lunch or dinner occasionally.
He will travel an hour and a half to help out at her place and cook a meal there.
Is something wrong with this situation?
2006-08-07 18:14:45 · 19 answers · asked by LARRY B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the two of them met through drinking buddies.
2006-08-07 18:16:08 · update #1
I don't see that the woman is doing anything wrong because from what you've said they are just friends and she's told her significant other. However, if it's all so innocent, why hasn't he told his wife. He's the one sneaking around. It seems to me she being honest and he's not.
2006-08-07 18:22:45 · answer #1 · answered by yadayadayada 3 · 9⤊ 2⤋
I'm guessing you're the married man involved here, or maybe the boyfriend. But that's not really the issue. As a woman who has had some strong friendships with men, I say it might be on the up and up (like mine have been) and it might not (like people who aren't me have had). If they're meeting for food, could they both be interested in trying different cuisines? Perhaps they have a kinship that is truly based on friendship. Perhaps they're boffing their brains out. There is really not enough information here to determine if this situation is "wrong" or not. It would help to know how he's "helping out at her place and cook [ing] a meal there," that would help determine what was really going on.
Peace.
2006-08-07 19:17:23 · answer #2 · answered by Polly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is something wrong with it, and I think you sense that; otherwise you wouldn't have brought it up. You are correct for making it your business. You should continue to make it your business and tell your friend to get a clue. It's always therapeutic to bring things up when people don't think it's any of your business.
It doesn't sound like she or the married man are very honest, and it's really a mess to begin with, with her being divorced, ect.You might want to tell her that and possibly the other parties involved and then you might want hang around with other people.
2006-08-07 18:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly...they may have underlying feelings but they are too afraid to act on them considering that both are in relationships. They do however like spending time together...I wouldn't be too suspicious of it but I would try to stay involved...talk to the woman...one day she may open up about the whole thing. And there may be no feelings at all they could just be soul mates or really good friends, it is possible to be friends with a member of the opposite sex without having sex with them. If everything is out in the open, trust her and trust him...for now I think everything is ligit.
2006-08-07 18:21:26 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. Pixie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really understand why some men find it wrong for women to be friends with men when they are in a relationship. Just because they help eachother out and enjoy eachothers company doesn't mean they are intimate with eachother or plan to be for that matter. How would you feel if your woman told you that you couldn't have female friends besides her? I don't think there is anything wrong with a man and woman being friends regardless of their relationship status.
2006-08-07 18:23:21 · answer #5 · answered by ♫Joshua's~♥~Girl♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this but, it sounds just alittle screwed up. It sounds like they might want to tell his wife and her boyfriend good-bye and get married to each other. They are straddling a bob-wire fence and someone is going to get hurt. How can she being a woman let this go on.... Ask her how would she feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
2006-08-07 18:25:39 · answer #6 · answered by taken for a ride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For him to go to those lengths to see another woman, means more than your friend knows. In his mind he is cheating on his wife and in that way he is getting a rush. Your friend is the other woman, and unless you can give more information she knows that he is using her to cheat. There doesn't have to be sex to be cheating. The vows say: Keeping only to eachother. He has used your friend to violate that vow. Your friends boyfriend should be worried, because he is being cheated on too. He is not married and can move on at anytime, and should be moving on.
2006-08-07 18:26:35 · answer #7 · answered by william m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds fishy to me! i don't think they should be doing that, because they are cheating in their hearts! the man especially, he shouldn't be having dinner at another woman's house w/out his wife's knowledge! there is romance involved w/ those 2 and it's going to lead to an affair! BUT....its really not your business!
2006-08-07 18:23:48 · answer #8 · answered by musicislife1233 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh yeah there is something wrong.she is after this married man and that is wrong if she had nothing to hide then she would bfriend his wife also.she is simply a home wrecker acting like a friend lordy lordy lordy
2006-08-07 18:20:50 · answer #9 · answered by hopefaith_lovecharity 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not if all they are doing is meeting for a lunch and hang out. would it even be a question if it were two men or two wopmen. just a thought
2006-08-07 18:19:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋