who live within our vicinity. I use to get angry at him all the time. I've begged him countless time to stop behaving this way and his reply is always the same..."I'm a perfectly healthy man, and there is nothing wrong with it" It infuriates me when he says that. I've begged and cry to stop to do so but he totally ignores me..he may stop for a day or two and starts all over again....what should I do. I really need your help and some advice. We have been married for 4 years and I'm not sure if its going to last......
2006-08-07 17:26:32 · 29 answers · asked by Lulu P 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Community Service
He is cheating on you, even if he doesn't physically meet wth the other women, his mind is with them and not you. that is not "perfectly healthy" he has an obsessive compulsion.
why do you put up with it? Divorce him. He is an adulterer. is your self esteem so low that you can live with it, no? then leave him, you should not be treated that way. plain and simple. Why would you want a marriage like that to continue? You deserve better from him. There IS something wrong with it.
2006-08-07 17:40:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage won't last if he doesn't respect your wishes and care about your feelings more than he cares about his addiction. He is not a healthy man, and their is something wrong with it if it is affecting the relationships in his life.
Seek counseling, even if is only for yourself. I think that there are such things as porn addicts help groups - like Alcoholics Anonymous sort of thing. See what is available in your area. A group of that nature might be able to assist you in at least making some decisions. Nothing will change unless he sees his behavior as a problem. That is the main issue that you are facing, and unfortunately, changing people is really not possible if they don't want to do it for themselves. Be strong and hold on to your values and self respect. You are angry and hurt becasue you deserve better, and you do.
2006-08-08 00:38:57 · answer #2 · answered by connorsmom916 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am assuming that you are a Christian, I don't know. But I will share with you my personal experience with porn addiction and how God set me free. I grew up surrounded by pornography, but after I gave my life to the Lord. I still struggled to get free from it's addiction. I would have limited success at times, but I still could not get over the hump. Then God revealed to me that when I repented of my sins, I was being broken. When you are broken about what you are doing, it is then that God sees that you are sincere and can give you instructions to maintain being free. If your husband feels no guilt, you will have to pray that God convicts his heart. Once I learn how to be broken about my problem. Then God began to instruct me to throw away all the pictures of my old girl friends, stop watching show with women, and stop going to certain places where I knew women would be. All these these things were feeding my addictions. It was as if a broom came in and cleaned up my life. The demons that had me bound were using the these things in my life to keep me bound. But once I listened to God. Those pornographic desires died out. Well I hope that this will help you a little. But those are demons which have him bound and you will have to pray for God's anointing to break the hold in his life.
2006-08-08 00:45:47 · answer #3 · answered by super saiyan 3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mam i am sry to here that. That has to be extremely rough. The only thing i can say is get a divorce. Its perverted and its wrong. If he wont change his ways for his lovely wife. Then he doesnt deserve you. I know my older brother is at his beck and call for his gal. If she told him to stop he would stop. Your husband is a weak minded fool and i dont like him. If he has nething to say about that tell him to send me a email hotsound327@hotmail.com
Its truly wrong, youve talked to him and he ignores you. Be a strong dominate woman. Get rid of him. You can find another man. If you choose not to. Things will just get worse. Everyday my mom claims my father runied her life with his porn and drinking. You do not want that to happen to you. He can have all the bimbos he wants on the "internet", but dont let him have you.
2006-08-08 00:34:04 · answer #4 · answered by postalsock 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, first off remeber that this is only my opinion on what you should do. Try going to the safety/services tab on your internet service provider homepage(mine is AOL, it has both...if that's yours as well, pick safety)and set a filter for all things that require you to sign in/agree that you are over 18. If that doesn't work, you might either A) give him a taste of his own medicine and chat with a few random local men(with no intentions of meeting of course!) or B) Tell him either the internet fiasco stops or you will leave. Hopefully you won't have to stoop to B.
2006-08-08 00:33:46 · answer #5 · answered by ~Nafissah~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. I divorced a year ago. My ex would not only view porn in my presence, but also IM women and write them emails in my presence. I asked for a divorce because I felt like I deserved more respect than that and so do YOU.
He is not going to stop. You have to do what you feel is right. Either counseling to help you deal with it or tell him you want a divorce.
2006-08-08 08:35:07 · answer #6 · answered by T B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either he has an addiction or he's looking for someone other than you. You have already told him to stop and tried talking about it with him. It's time for some action. If he continues then leave him. If you he realizes he has a problem,then you two can try to work it out. If he doesn't try to stop,you need to try to move on.
Sorry you have to deal with this. I hope everything works out for the better!
2006-08-08 00:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by cyndie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband has a problem. Why in the hell would a man who has a woman, always be looking at porn? He is mentally cheating on you. Plus, he's talking to other women, and I doubt it's about sports! Which could mean he is really cheating on you.
Find a real man that like's real women and not pictures of them.
2006-08-08 00:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by Simmy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest an ultimatum that he seeks help and if he doesn't, separate. Often that will persuade them to get the help they need.
He needs help. And you have every right to be angry and hurt. It is a form of adultery, so you are within your right to leave, but you obviously are willing to work through it. If he refuses, then you're released to find someone who deserves someone as devoted as you are.
I wish you the best...and say a prayer for you, too.
2006-08-08 00:34:30 · answer #9 · answered by LastNerveLost 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to let him know how serious this is. He is obviously in denial about his addiction and it's not normal or right to ignore you for his porn thrills and it's NOT OK to talk to strange women, obviously sexually, maybe even phone sex.. that's just as bad as actually having sex with them. LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT KIDDING... YOU ARE NOT GOING TO PUT UP WITH IT, and that you think it's destroying your marriage and that if he really loves you he BETTER STOP...also, you need to realize that he has an addiction and that he probably is going to need some therapy to beat it. tell him you will support him in therapy to break the addiction and that you will be willing to go to counseling together with him to save the marriage. But he needs to know that his behavior is destroying your marriage.
2006-08-08 00:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by schenzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋