My relationship w/ my parents has been kinda bad for more than a year. I was 13, made mistakes, they were too harsh, humiliated me and this destroyed our relationship completely. I could never get over. I dont make such mistakes any more, dont join bad crowds. Just the contrary,today I am what my parents wanted me to be. But I still hold a grudge. They tried to make up with me, even forced me to go to family counseling, but nothing worked. I'm respectful, dont fight, just keep distant and avoid talking. When necessary I talk with them politely, like an attendant in a store. They hate, but this is my undeniable right, so I feel. They can't force me to love them, Anyway, they keep saying they are proud of me, cause I'm an honor student and do things like taking part in social services. Sometimes this makes me resentful, sometimes angry. It's like they are making fun of my feelings. Despite our bad relationship my good actions make them happy , like they say u cant hurt us, ure defeated!
2006-08-07 16:59:51 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ur parents are not worried abt u really. but abt ur age and ur surroundings.. so they are just trying to do their part of life.. not letting u go in a bad way or something like that.
keep it up..
2006-08-07 17:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by Nirmal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok..i understand how u feel. but u have to listen to yourself; growing up, u made mistakes right? u didn't care what ur parents thought before, right? u went against them, didn't listen to them. now, when u are doing what YOU want to do, why do u carewhat they think? why are u assuming they are making fun of you, things like that?? if u take a deep breath, and take a step back.. i think they are AWED by the fact that you've changed, and on your own. that is truly great, and i think u are a great example.. a lot of kids can't do that, even w/ supportive parents! but that grudge u hold against them... they did what they did (maybe not the right way), because they Wanted u to become the person u are today. so in fact, they wanted what you now want for yourself.. and it's not about being "right" or "wrong"..but what was best for you in their eyes, and now your eyes. u are trying to hurt them just like they hurt you in the past..and i don't blame you. however, i think if u opened ur mind and heart a bit, you could open your life to SO much more.. more possibility to build up that trust, to build up support, to build up love in the family. u've Proven them wrong.
i don't think they have said "you cant hurt us, ur defeated". i think they are trying to right the wrong they've done by trying to validate your efforts. do u think that's in any way possible, or do u really think ur parents are so cold and mean? it's possible... but if u can find it in ur heart to forgive them.. regardless of if they are right or wrong.. i think u would be able to be an honor student, honor child, honor family member, and honor young woman, because u will have learned what SO many people haven't.... that people are people, and make mistakes....like u said, u made mistakes....why should they have treated u so harshly? just like you, ur parents have made mistakes..why are u doing the same to them? please, try to open ur heart to them.. if they don't understand, and treat u like u are defeated instead of being proud of you, then hate them for their attitude. but don't hate or assume until u really find out..because u don't want to become just like them. use ur past to be MORE compassionate, MORE loving, More caring... especially to people around you, and your future children. i bet u'll be an awesome woman as u grow up, because u've seen the good and the bad, and have been thru a lot. use it to be positive, not negative..even if u are right in principle, other things matter too.. like love and forgiveness. :)
2006-08-08 00:19:00 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not war Ana;; your folks are human and probably are just as confused as you at how they react to you . I don't know what problems you had and how bad they were but perhaps you need to put a foot in mom and dads shoe and think how you would have reacted .If they are clearly in the wrong sit down and discuss your points with them .you may need to have some ground rules like no one talks over the others and no shouting. but a hug and an I love you can smooth the way its corny but They must love you and I think you still love them . all the best . be the bigger person
2006-08-08 06:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by slick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them that you are fighting them, you just don't want to be around them ever. By the way, are you sure you're really an honor student? You spell like you're in third grade.
2006-08-08 00:19:23 · answer #4 · answered by Josh G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
on your statement it seems that the start of your gap was yu fault.. then i suggesst that you should let go of the past,, try to make things right.. compromise... open up your feelings of warmth.. besides they are still your parents no matter what.
remember what the bible says "honor thy parents"
don't be stranded from the past
2006-08-08 00:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by destroyed_11 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your question is too long
2006-08-08 00:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋