She's 5 years older than I am and when I was in high school and still a virgin, she took three of my boyfriends. She also came on to two others. I actually walked in on one of my boyfriends while he was with her but they were sleeping and didn't know I was there. He was supposed to pick me up from school and didn't show up so I caught a cab home and walked into her bedroom to borrow something from her and there they were half dressed and sleeping. I didn't wake them, just got what I was looking for and went to work. Another boyfriend dated her for about 6 years after he left me and the third called me and told me he'd slept with her. I wasn't hurt over any of these guys cause I was too young to be in love but my sister hurt me tremendously. She tried to come on to another boyfriend and he called and told me immediately after it happened. I ended up marrying that guy and we have been married for 2 years now but I can't get over what my sister has done. Should I tell her that I know?
2006-08-07 16:49:04 · 18 answers · asked by SmartyPants 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She knows you know. It's called sibling rivalry, and believe me, she won't change. My sister has been trying to throw monkey wrenches in my life for forty years. Having a happy marriage is your best revenge.
2006-08-07 16:55:50 · answer #1 · answered by Answers1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What would be the benefit of telling her that you know?
Do you want to make her feel bad?
She is hurting if she is sleeping with so many men. Does she have a father that gives her good attention?
You just need to forgive her. Dr Phil says the prison of unforgiveness unlocks from the inside.
It won't benefit her if you tell her. It sounds like your life is going pretty well and that you have a good head on your shoulders.
I had/have a big problem with unforgiveness. I took a Bible study called "Breaking Free" a book by Beth Moore. I took it very seriously and had a big weight lifted when I forgave a few people. I'm sure they didn't even know I hadn't forgave them. It's almost better to forgive someone without them knowing they hurt you.
Sometimes I think about people I may have hurt that I don't even know about. They can tell me, but if they don't, it's their problem if they stay mad at me.
You just need to get over what your sister has done. Forgive. Forget as much as you can. Pity her, but love her.
2006-08-07 16:59:57 · answer #2 · answered by megmom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really surprised that you ended up marrying this man after he cheated on you like he did and with your sister. But hey, if you love him.......
As for your sister, yep I think that I would let her know what I knew and I would also go as far as even telling her what they had on and every thing, that way she would know that you did in fact see her. I know that blood is thicker than water, but I just don't know if I could even talk to her any more after that. If I did at all, it would be a long long time before I could. With her sleeping with that many guys......well I'm not going to say it cause I think you already know. And I am so sorry for you!!!!!
2006-08-07 17:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your sister has some serious issues-one being that she doesn't seem to want you to be happy. The other issue being that she ISN"T happy.
I would not allow her to be alone with your husband. I would make it very clear to her that any questionable behavior will not be tolerated (you may want to let your husband know this as well..just to be safe). I would also avoid her as much as humanly possible. She sounds like trouble. I've known others like her and they pretty much destroy everything they touch.
She's your sister. You can't change that. But it also does not mean that you have to be her best friend. Sisters often don't get along.
2006-08-07 16:55:58 · answer #4 · answered by lilly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that you should tell her that you know. your relationship is not normal with her. the fact that she could do that to you and then never tell you, thats just wrong. what you should do is tell her that you need to talk to her, have her come to your house, make sure that your husband is gone this way you have some privacy. tell her that you know, and ask her why she did that to you. put all the cards on the table. dont end the conversation with unanswered questions. nows your time to get some closure. good luck sweety!!
ps. i think that if that was my sister i would have already beat her a**. so i give you props!!
2006-08-07 17:03:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront her, and tell her how you feel. Get it all out...don't bottle it up anymore. Even have a counselor supervise - that would probably be the best thing to do. Find out why she has done this, find out what she was going through, but most importantly let her know how much she hurt you. Take Care!
2006-08-07 16:56:17 · answer #6 · answered by ------ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like your sister is prob envious of the men or realtionships you have either that or she is just a horn dog. I wouldnt worry about things in the past if you are married now but I would watch her with your husband no offence.
2006-08-07 16:53:27 · answer #7 · answered by crystald24 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your sister that you know. If she doesn't feel any guilt about it.. stop talking to her. Tell her that you will see her at family events only.. to spare your parents.. but that you are not friends and never will be unless she can truely apologize for what she did. She'll never make it up to you, it's not possible.. but somehow you have to be able to forgive her and she has to be able to apologize. This doesn't just affect you and your sister.. it affects your whole family.
2006-08-07 16:58:29 · answer #8 · answered by rccola1979 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why in the world do you even care now? It sounds like you want to keep things going. Leave it alone and live the life you've got now.
2006-08-07 17:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her up and tell her you want to talk to her face to face.. in other words ask her out to lunch/dinner talk about life and casually bring up the subject. be honest wiht her. dont scream and yell, be the adult of the situation. let her know that it hurt you and you just want to know why she chose to do it. then after she has given you the reason just let it go. dont let her intimadate you. you want the anwsers stick with it till you get them. GOOD LUCK
2006-08-07 16:56:59 · answer #10 · answered by tallshygirl101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋