Should I let her go?

Question

I've been with this girl for about 2 years and I knew I was in love. Now she has left for 6 months to do an internship in another city. I feel like we have been drifting apart ever since. We use to talk to each other constantly over the phone, but it seems like that just doesn't happen anymore. It doesn't seem like she tries to keep me interested in our relationship. I don't know if she's playing games, and I don't know what to do. It just gets me mad because it only seems that I try and put effort into the relationship and not her. What should I do?

Answer 1

Dude, this is an easy one.

Go rent the DVD "The Tao of Steve" - a must-view for all men.

In short, we pursue that which retreats from us. The fact that she is distant is not a good sign, and if you try too hard to pull her closer it will only drive her away.

Your best play here is to give her the distance she wants. You need to let her go in your mind - resolve to finding someone else. Once you do she will do one of two things. She will either panic because she feels you slipping away and will come back into the mix quickly, or she will drop off the radar altogether...which is an indication that things never would have worked out anyhow. Either way, you will be better off because you will have the answer you seek.

So prepare yourself to move on. This relationship is not satisfying you as it is right now. You need to recognize that and accept that she may not be a good fit. Once you realize it and move on in your mind, she will recognize your absence and act accordingly.

The truth will follow.

But seriously - check out that movie. All you need to know, man. Best of luck.

Answer 2

It's entirely possible that she's simply too busy to maintain the effort as you have; it's also possible that she feels the same way that you do about who's "put more effort" into the relationship or she may just be hoping that the distance ends it peacefully because she's over you (or was never as in love as you were).

What you should've done was discuss all of the possibilities and options for the relationship BEFORE she left. What you must do now is talk to her and work out if the relationship should continue or if she is willing to work at it over the distance.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Relationship requires work on both sides. You should at least bring up what you are thinking and going through with her. Then hear her side of the story. She may be really busy or she may have lost interest. Both of you need to be honest to each other. A long distance relationship is hard to maintain. There will be doubts and second guessing but these are energies channeling to the wrong places. Under this difficult times, it will either make your relationship stronger or it will break it. It is decision time and communication and commitment are key.

Answer 4

If you really love her, don't give up that easily. Give her the benefit of your doubt. She may just be very busy with her internship which is quite a difficult endeavor. But you may ask her the next time you talk why she isn't that very exciting lately to communicate with you. Assure her of your love and fidelity. Let her know how much you love her.

If at all she has another man in her life out there, I'm sure that she will feel guilty about it and instead of making you helplessly wait for her calls, she may tell you the truth. Don't get me wrong though. I do not say that she is not worthy of your trust. In fact, trust is really what you should have in your heart for her right now.

Just support her with what she is doing and trying to accomplish. Be a more understanding bf. Give her time to make her dreams come true. After that, if she really is meant for you, she will be in your arms for as long as forever and you will live happily ever after just like in fairy tales.

Answer 5

Long distance relationships are hard.

Its seems there is alot of changes going on in her life.

And with the changes, I think she still wants to keep you-but your the only one trying to make it work. Seems shes hold on, but for the wrong reasons. She may be lonely, and holding on to you to comfort her.

Plus, if she is in a new enviorment, she seeing new things, and new people.

I'll not saying she'll cheat, but when your in a different enviorment, you want to spread your wings.

It takes two to make a relationship work, not one .

Either she works at it also, or I say go your own ways.

Its great that she has positive things and new changes going on in her life, but it seems right now, since you are trying and she is not.

I don't think this relationship is fitting in her new life, and that's way she is not trying.

If it is meant to work out, it will. And maybe, you guys need time apart to see if this is worth holding on too.

You can love her and still maintain a friendship till the intership is over, and see if you still want to be a couple.

But , you both have to be willing to try. Not just you.

I know 2 years is a long time, and you proable love her and have a history. Ask yourself, "are you growing apart?"

Answer 6

ive had a similar situation, for her leaving for 6 months is a long time, my ex left for a month and she pretty much forgot me the whole time and when she sent me e-mail it was all bs, nothing to do with the relationship, just like a friend writing, i think you should ignore her and move on, you'll see her either give up on you or come back to you better than ever, i'm sure this time away has got her thinking and sorry to say but she doesnt seem concerned as much as she used to be, women play games too when you arent interested in much they wonder why and when you like them they know they have you, so you gotta play it cool now, break it off and tell her you moved on it will shock her even if you havent, dont waste time on someone who doesnt give you feelings back in return, shes hanging onto you as a just in case good luck

Answer 7

Take the phone.
"Hi babe, are you busy? Cos there's something I need to tell you listen, I feel you distant... don't say no, because I feel it like that... and this is making me grow mad and disappointed and I don't know what to do... I know that a relationship from far is never easy but I think this is more than I can bear. To be honest, somethimes I think it is only me the one who's making a real effort to make this work... Do you think we need a time on our own... do you wanna go on with this?" She'll probably lie and say that everything is fine but at least this is a start.

Answer 8

Talk to her about these things. Being apart for a long time can be hard on a relationship, and it can cause both partners to drift apart.

Let her go, if she wants. Let her stay, if she wants. If this relationship is true, it will happen again later if you split up. You'll both be better for it.

Answer 9

If the relationship does not stand the test of time and distance, you need to rethink. I know this sounds awful, but you need to have "the talk" with her. Tell her things are not working for you, talk thru with her to see if there is anything you two should do to make it work. At the end of the talk, you either know what each of you need to work on to make it work, or to end it and you can stop the guessing what's up with her.

Answer 10

The reality is probably that she's busy with her internship. She didn't go away on vacation, she went away to work. More than likely, she is not playing games with you, she's working.