what should i do about my parents?

Question

My parents have never been there for me i have never heard im proud of you or i love you from my parents and i really dont know how to forgive them for this.. This past year my parents kicked me out of the house for no reason at all they threw me to the curb with no where to live no money no nothing and i got back right back up on my feet. Then they tried to turn all my family agaisnt me my brother my sister even my grandparents i live with my b.f now hes been there for me more than my parents have . I went to my grandparents house and they were like why are you here and blah blah i didn really know what to do....So how can i forgive them what should i do??

Answer 1

if ur parents haven't been good to you, and are not asking for forgiveness, then don't worry about that part right now. u need to take care of urself first...when u work on urself, and grow and mature into a responsible woman, u will realize that u have already forgiven them. it'll take time, and work, and u need to take ur mind off all the hurt and anger. if u can somehow make urself happy, successful, stable, and just an Awesome young woman, then u have nothing to blame. ur parents have not been able to push you down, u were able to get thru everything w/o them. that way, there will be no need for resentment anymore, cuz u can do it all on ur own! on that note, it will be extremely hard for u to respect them again. that will take even more work, and if ur parents and family are willing to accept you again. but if they want to cut themselves off from you, that is their decision, not urs. do what u need to do to make yourself whole... try not to be so hurt and sad and depressed... look at the positives that u have in life; ur smarts, ur boyfriend, ur ability to do things on ur own. u are VERY capable, and have much potential. as long as u can see, u don't need anyone else to tell u otherwise. i always say to filter out the negatives, and surround urself w/ positive; if ur whole family was negative, it would've been hard for u to leave them, but because they've done this, it could be a blessing in disguise; now u are free to pursue a Bigger, Better future, the whole world is open to you now. it would've been so great if u could've had a supportive family, but since u happened to have one that wasn't, u have to make-do. i really applaud u..u seem not to be a "victim" at all!!! u are one strong cookie and u Want to forgive them, even when they treat u so badly!!! i really respect that about you! :) feel good about urself.. always work hard and strive for the best, for the positive, for what's healthy and safe and secure for urself.. that way no one negative will ever be able to bother you. once u believe in urself and are confident, other people will see that and be in awe. hopefully one day ur parents will be able to see that, and be humbled by it. take care, and never let past hurts and regrets stop u from becoming a great person in the future.

Answer 2

Write a letter to your parents and your grandparents and make them realize how they were never there for you and how they made you feel and mail it to them so that they have a chance to read it and maybe look at things from your perspective. Then they can't yell at you and kick you out of their face and all that other stuff, and sometimes I find that when I write my feelings down to let people know how I really feel it makes me feel better too. Make sure that you go into detail when you write this letter so that you can bring up certain incidences that you remember that really bother you. Good Luck and God Bless!

I know some parents just aren't as loving as others so make sure that you didn't do something to make them kick you out.

Answer 3

Well, are you sure you did nothing to P them off? I'm a parent, and there not to many things in the world that would make me kick them out on the street... You need to talk to them! Be honest with yourself, you have nothing to loose! I hope you hear what you need to. Life doesn't always give you the answers you want, so be tough! Good luck to you.

Answer 4

Do nothing and move on with your life. Set some goals for yourself and let nothing stop you from reaching those goals. To harbor ill feelings means that they still control you. Hold your head high and just be the best you that you can be. You can't change the past, however the future can be whatever you want it to be. The future is only limited by your own imagination. You can do whatever you set your mind to do. It just depends on how bad do you want to do it.

Answer 5

Couldn't reply to your email, so I am responding here:
Gosh - you clearly seem to have the right moral compass inside of you; you're intelligent and well-guided, you do know what is right from wrong and how to take personal responsibility and the actions to improve your life...

But you just seem to be in a bit of a fog, with too many things swirling in and around you to see clearly what you have to do.

Being on medication especially doesn't help sometimes to think as clearly as you need, and having very strong emotional reactions you know does not help you see clearly and act calmly.

But you are very fortunate to have family around you -- I really think you need to pick the healthiest family member for you and ask them if you can move in with them until you go away to college. You need to explain to them what you see you have done wrongs and what you are going to do to not repeat those mistakes -- whether your parents called you on it or not, you know when you were doing things that were wrong and unhealthy for your future (messing around with guys, drinking or doing drugs, ignoring school, not having a plan for your future, not investing time into healthy relationships with your family and responsible / straight-arrow people...)

So move back to a place that is healthy and prove to them and yourself that you will be healthy and responsible from here on out. That means doing your homework EVERY DAY and working with your teachers to get on track. That means no more drunk episodes, no more boyfriends...you can do it



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Before you start thinking about how to forgive them, you have to be honest, mature and real and look intoyourself and all of the things you have done that were not really a reflection of the person you know you should be. You should start by apologizing to your family for those things that you did, putting a plan in place to turn your life around and start making decisions and taking actions every minute of every day to not repeat your mistakes and continue your bad attitude but instead move forward.

If your family sees all of this and decides to apologize or make amends then so be it, but the more important thing is that you grow up and realize that you are at a cross roads and only you will decide what path your life will ultimately take...

It is obviously ridiculous that you have done nothing wrong, that you don't understand why this is happening and that everyone else is mean / wrong / crazy / unfair... and if your b/f hasn't told you this they are either not such a great friend or may have other motives to have you under their roof...

Regardless, you sound exactly like my sister 10 years ago when she got kicked out of our house for I'm sure similar reasons as you... her friends were all there for her and helpd her to curseher awful family who told her to start living like a decent woman, period. And she continued to make some stupid choices, but thank god her upbringing stuck with her and she eventually ditched the loser friends, improved her attitude, focused on school and ultimately met an amazing man that she ended up marrying....

I can still hear her though about 10 years ago talking exactly like your talking now... and so many of my friends back then also talked just like that -- refusing to tak any responsibility for why they were in their situation.

Maybe you do have an awful family, but the bottom line is still that only you are responsible for your life, and you will not move forwrad as a mature adult if you do not recognize what you need to change about yourself, if you blame other people and if you do not put yourself in healthy situations and always choose the difficult path -- no fun / parties, hard work and dedication to a valuable cause and respect to your family b/c you are a respectful person...

I think you can do this, I hope you can, i would love to know you turned out as well as my sis and I did and we came from very troubled pasts / families but realized that deep down our mom was just demanding that we not throw our lives away :)

Answer 6

wow the same thing happened to me. I am 18 now, but when i was 16, my parents kicked me out. I am sure they had there reasons, I was never one to stick with anything but it was wrong of them. I moved in with ym bf as well, and i have been living with him every sense.

My advice, make something of yourself. Not to brag about it to them, but too show them that you are way better then the way they treated you. I hope everything works out, you seem brave to me my friend.
-Adrianna

Answer 7

that would be hard to answer the only thing you can do is frist let your heart heal then maybe later you can try to mend what ever feelings you have for your parents work on more by helping yourself then your parents thats all you can do.i have 4 kids of my own i could never do that to my kids good luck in life honey may god bless you

Answer 8

Move on. Those bridges were burned by them. Make a great life without reference to them.

Answer 9

Tell them how that make you feel that they neglect you and then move on with your life and get a better life.

Answer 10

Honestly, I have been in your shoes, call me and I will figure it out 321-438-8461.

26 male
florida