My husband is going to War, my son asked the question?

Question

Please ignore this question if you are going to answer with a ignorant statement, it is not what I want to hear.
My husband is leaving for Iraq soon. My son asked me the other day, "what happens if Daddy gets killed?" I told him not to think about that, and then he says, "what if he gets shot and hurt?" I didn't know what to say because I don't want to lie to him, it is a real live situation, and we don't know if this will or will not happen. What do I say if he asks again?

Answer 1

Be honest. Tell him "No one knows what is going to happen. All we can do is pray and do the best we can. This means you must try hard in school, do your best so that Dad can be proud of you as you are of him..."

You could also take a minute each night at the dinner table to talk about "Dad" and start the conversation with "I wonder what Dad did today" or "If Dad was here with us today, do you think he'd like the dinner we're having?"

Make sure if you receive letters, you share the information with your son. Read it first and determine what, of the letter, you will read aloud to him and what you will paraphrase, or leave out.

Perhaps you could ask your husband to write his son his own personal letters and that would really make your boy feel special. And if I were you, after your son has read the letters from Dad, I'd store them in a safe place for later on when your son is grown....

I'd also find out if the school knows any other families who have a mother or father in the military away from home. Perhaps you could form a support network and meet on ocassion to discuss parenting, questions the children have asked, your answers to those questions and allow the children to interact with each other. This may provide an avenue for your son to express his fears, apprehensions and help validate his feelings with the other kids and also help him cope by not feeling that he is the only kid this is happening too...

Good luck and God Bless you and your family. Please thank your husband for his service and sacrifices to keep America free. I am indebted to him...

Answer 2

Tough question, I don't envy you. My hubby is a Vietnam Vet, but had kids after coming home. Explain to your son that Daddy is doing his job, and his job is to protect us here in our country by going to Iraq as a soldier. It may be dangerous, but we will write to him a lot, and he'll write back too - and pray for Daddy, and the other soldiers there. Explain to him that no matter what, Daddy loves him and Mommy too, more than anything, and no matter what happens you will pull together as a family and take care of one another. I would not discourage him from asking these questions, it helps him deal with the situation and it is very scary. My husband is still dealing with a lot after 11 years in Southeast Asia and his sons are 19 and 14, hubby is a disabled vet. His youngest is the most compassionate and understands things like Dad sometimes has problems with war-related movies, so we don't watch them as a family. Firecrackers are another thing that if unexpected, can be a big problem, especially if they are too close. We discuss these things (and other like things) as a family and we stick together as a team to help. Hope this helps you! Prayers for you and your family, let's bring our troops home safe!!!!

Answer 3

Hey. My boyfriend was in Iraq for a year, so I know how you feel. You should be honest with your son. Tell him that there is a chance that Daddy could get hurt, but that he needs to pray for him to come home safe. (that is if you're religious). Tell him he shouldn't worry about him though and the best thing you both can do for him is to send him LOTS of letters, e-mails, and care packages. I'd try to avoid the subject once you explain the truth to him. It's going to be a whole lot easier for him and you if you both keep very positive attitudes. Good luck!

Answer 4

Tell your son about his fathers job. Explain to him how he has been trained, how the people he is with have been trained. Don't lie or make little of the situation, but don't be graphic. Tell him that he will be helping those that others want to hurt, and in turn they may want to hurt him, again go back to training. Explain that dad will be extra careful, and always on the lookout for those kind of people.
Every situation is different, and families are different, so its hard to give a blanket answer, but also try getting into, or starting a network of people in your situation. You may find you are able to give as much help as you may get.

Answer 5

Your son is very clever , like many others in the world.
Just think with yourself how many Iraqi children will ask this when their Dads get killed or shot by soldiers like your husband .
Just think about the pain the go through and remind your husband of the pain , so he will be a man with a human heart and if he will be like that be 100 % sure that he will come back to you safe and sound .
And let your son know that Daddy wont be killed or shot as he will never kill Innocent people or shoot them and coming home to his family Safe will be his reward from God . Tel him his Dad will come to him with lots of joy as he will bring joy to homes of other little boys and girls , instead of destroying their lives.

this can be a good experience for all your family if you make it good experience for others.
May God help your husband to help others and to keep them away from dangers .

Answer 6

You will find the answers: How old is he? The thing is no matter what age your son is he knows what's going on.. So yes be as honest as you can and answer his question in a way that he can understand. It would be best if he knew from you and his dad that yes this can happen.. Just let him know how much you love him and that you are there to answer his questions and if you don't know the answer than y'all will find the answer together.
Have Daddy reassure him as best as he can and let him know that no matter what happens he loves him.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your son and for a safe return of your husband!! Tell your husband that we believe in all the brave men and women who are out there serving their country..

Answer 7

well i would not wait for him to ask again, cause if he is not askin anymore then you never know what kind of ideas and things that are going threw his head on this subject and you dont want him to feel confused. so i would set some one on one time aside with just him and you. and tell him the truth, not all the gory details but the simple truth. tell him that daddy is going to go and yes he can get shot but that doesnot mean he will die. tell him he could die if gets shot, that he would have to see a doctor to try and fix him up if he can. then tell him that if daddy dies he will always be in his heart always , and that he will be in heaven watching over him watching him grow up. that god will take care of him and dady wont be in any pain, he will be happy watching you and him from heaven. something like that, if he cries its ok. just hold him and tell him its ok, that right now daddy is ok , that daddy might be just fine, comfort him. then tell him that you and him can pray together at night to help keep daddy safe and to help him come home. explain to him that sometimes people die cause god wants them to come home to him, and that that is a good thing. good luck not easy but its better then letting his imagination go wild not knowing or understanding.

Answer 8

Tell him daddy is going to there to protect him and everyone else. That he is a hero trying to save the world. But sometimes even heroes get hurt or pass. But daddy loves us and he is going to do everything he can to come back safe. But if daddy don't he is still a hero in everyones eyes and fought for a reason to protect us and he loves us very much. Be truthful, kids need to know that things can go bad, but do it in a way they can understand or associate something they can understand like the superhero. He probably sees a hero in his dad already, just being his dad is his superhero. I'am not good at this but i hope you got some idea out of this. My prayers are with you and your family. god bless you.

Answer 9

Tell him what a special, brave father he has. Yes, it is dangerous where he is going, and people have died, but daddy is trained and will do his best to protect himself. But daddy is also doing this special job for the country and other people that can't protect themselves right now. Remind him he will always be his daddy, you will remember him everyday in your prayers (when my husband went away we "talked" to daddy during prayers every night about our day and things we wanted him to know we were feeling). Tell your son no matter what you will always be a family and be there for each other, during good times and during sad times and that no matter what you all have to be strong for daddy too. Honesty and talking openly is so much more healthy than painting an unrealistic pretty picture. Just try to keep everything positive. I will keep your family in my prayers.

Answer 10

That would be hard to answer. My son is in Afghanistan and I know what you are feeling, and your little boy. Poor guy! They just don't understand all the problems the world has. I would merely tell him, we don't want anything to happen to daddy, and if he were to get hurt, then we pray for him to get well. Also if daddy were to die, tell him just remember he is with Jesus now, and he isn't in anymore pain, and that daddy will always be with us in our hearts and spirit, if it were to happen, but son we want to keep thinking positive ok.. Thats about all a person can really say, is you want to be honest to him, just in case, "God for Bid". it is tough , my thoughts are with you and your son and God Bless your husband as well"