what should I do??

Question

My daughter has been potty trained. She is four years old and she will go and hide behind things and use it on my floor what should I do. I have done everything possible, I am out of ideas

i have spanked, i have had her in diapers and she has a potty chair nothing works. she uses the big potty but only half of the time.

we have her and a 1 1/2 year old baby girl she goes if you stay on her but if you dont she just does it anywhere then we correct her then she just gets worse please help!!!!!!

Answer 1

When we started potty training my sister we had a terrible time getting her to use the toilet instead of the pullups. We finally all got serious about the problem and every single member of the family promissed to help her to overcome her problem, and we set out to accomplish "Opperation Clean Barney's."

The first step that we took was to take her completely out of pull-ups except for at night, from here on out there was going to be nothing but "big girl underwear" and let me tell you, it was a long hard struggle every single day, at the end of almost every day we were all pulling our hair out. The first thing that we did every morning rushed her to the bathroom and checked to see if she was dry, if she was we showered her with praise, and if she wetted her pants, she knew that it was wrong and generally was almost in tears abiut it, never yelled at her, never down graded her, and we never stopped pushing forward. If she had an accident, first she had to get in the shower and clean up herself,any clothing that was affected, and any toys or blankets that were affected. Then we practiced - we started wherever she was when the accident occured, and she had to run to the bathroom, lift up the lid, drop her drawers, sit down on the throne, wipe off her gludimus maximus, pull her drawers back up, flush the toilet, shut the lid, and do it again 10 times. Now I realize that seems a bit excentric, but she has got to realize that not only is this not acceptable, but its also alot of work! Don't just tell her that its wrong, show her why its wrong.

But along those lines, remember to reward her every time she does right, encourage her every chance you can and be sincere about it, share in her victories and encourge her after the sting of defeat. For a reward, just give her something simple and tangible that she will look forward to, for me personally, I had a weakness for gummy bears and when I made it to the bathroom on time, sweet was my reward, but if I didn't and I went in my limited edition cookie monster underwear, not only was cookie monster not happy anymore, neither was I. Why? because I had to sit there and watch mom eat my gummy bear right in front of me! My little sister on the other hand had a great appriciation for the animated arts and quite fond of watching them. So, if she was able to go the whole day and her pooh bear underpants dry all day, and go potty in the toilet all day long, she got to watch a short 30 minute video of her choosing; and she got to watch a "big movie" if she extricated anal waste into the shiny white throne and kept herself clean all day long.

In closing I will just say that in this stage of her life (or any for that matter) consistancy is the key to success for both her and you. There will be times when you feel like you're making no progress whatsoever and you will feel like giving upon yourself, but just keep your head up and keep mushing on, I assure you that you will make it through this in one piece. And remember, you never know when little eyes are watching. Keep on sure and strong and you'll both gain some growth through this little experience.

P.S. Feel free to e-mail me with any more questions :)

[e-mail]

Answer 2

I have a three year old son who has been potty trained for about four months now. Up until about three weeks ago, he would use the potty for most of the day but he averaged one accident a day (he didn't want to stop doing what he was doing). Needless to say I was so frustrated I told him I would go to the store that day to go buy diapers that he could wear if he didn't want to make potty the priority. He didn't like that at all and I did have to put him back in diapers for a day to show him that I was serious and that he didn't want them anymore. But to make a positive out of it as well I told him that if he could go one month without an accident that we could have a party, complete with family, balloons, game bags and a big cake. And since he decided already that diapers were not the way to go and that a party is a big and fun prize he stopped having the accidents. He had one at about the two weeks without mark and I was a little frustrated because I thought we had kicked it but all I did was tell him that's fine but the party will never come if he cant get the whole month without one. We are now about a week and a half accident free. I hope this helps because I totally know what you are going through and that feeling of hopelessness. Good luck and as a wise friend once told me. Don't worry, you never see a college kid in diapers

Answer 3

Whoa! There are a lot of unanswered questions here. How long has she been trained? What changes have happened in her life since she was potty trained? Does she has other issues that seem to be of a developmental nature? If ther has been a new child introduced, someone has left the home, a move, etc.,anything can trigger a regression. Does she become overstimulated when there are more than one or two people in the room? Does she rock herself or make noises to calm herself down? Rule some of these things out before taking an action that may further complicate the issue. I'm really glad you are asking for help and answers. It makes it obvious your daughter has a loving parent who cares. Good luck.

Answer 4

First, make sure she doesn't have a UTI or bladder infection, or isn't constipated. Kids will sometimes exhibit this behavior if it hurts to go potty. Barring these things, practically speaking - put her back in pull ups or you will be cleaning up messes all day. Try to watch her as much as you can, and intercept her when possible and put her on the potty. My oldest daughter did this and nearly drove me crazy. It started when we changed daycare centers. Try to determine if there is any stress in her life (new baby, new house, new pet) that might be contributing. Call her pediatrician if it goes on for more than a few weeks. The BEST thing you can do is to be calm and patient and explain that she is a big girl and that big girls go in the potty. The WORST thing you can do is lose your cool and turn it into a power struggle. She will grow out of it, I promise!!

Answer 5

Has anything happened recently that might have caused this, such as the birth of a new baby? It sounds like an insecurity issue. Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why she is doing it. Don't get upset when you do this, otherwise she will just clam up. Remind her that you love her, and that you want to help her. Perhaps offer to stand with her while she goes potty. When she does use the potty, be sure to praise her.
Good luck!

Answer 6

I reward mt daughter with stickers when she goes in the potty, and when she doesn't I tell her we all make mistakes and to try better next time. I don't think she cares too much the stupid lecture but she loves getting stickers. Also don't make her feel guilty or embarrassed about it, because you know as well as I do, that doesn't work with anybody to get them to change their habits. Just do alot of encouraging and praising for going potty in the toilet and let her know what a big girl she is. Trust me it works. I started out spanking and making my daughter feel guilty and until I learned to be patient she started doing much better. And don't forget we all have accidents sometimes.

Answer 7

go in a room where she dont have anywhere to hide behind,no chairs no couches,just her potty if she have one,if you dont have a room like this make one.....and wait in there with her and eventually shes going to have to go.and when she do your right there to stop her.continue this step untill she say **** it,im tired of mommy watching and catching me let me go use the bathroom right.....and if that doesnt work....take her to the bathroom with you when you go sit her on the potty and you sit on the toilet and go together...dont forget to wipe front to back and wash your hands

Answer 8

Some children regress. Don't punish her by making her feel dirty, that'll make things worse. Have a talk with her and tell her big girls go to the toilet and give her a small reward like stickers or jelly bracelets when she goes. Good luck!!

Answer 9

Stop this problem now! If she poops in your own house, just wait till she gets to school, and then Band Camp, or wherever. Be stern, and firm. Let her know who's the boss, but also let her know you care. Best thing I guess is, in the mean time spank her, cause it's not gna be cute when Grandma steps in poop. Best of luck.

Answer 10

I guess I would just make her clean up her own messes every time, until she realizes that she doesn't like to do it anymore and hopefully she will start using the toilet. If that doesn't work, I would talk to the pediatrician and see what they have to say. They might have some ideas as well. good luck...