What am I doing wrong here?

Question

In general, girls tend to love me. Girls I've dated are always crazy about me at first, then one day they start acting weird and then finally decide they don't want to date anymore (it's almost like the spark dies or something). We never argued, and were always having fun. This happens not only with ex's but with other girls too (one day they don't really call anymore - like they've lost interest). Someone did call me clingy once, but I try not to act needy or anything like that, and I never rush things. I must be doing something wrong but I don't know what it is. What is my problem?? And what can I do to stop doing it?

Answer 1

You need to step back and look at yourself and be absolutely honest about what you see. When starting a relationship, are you completely and utterly yourself, or do you put up a bit of a facade? It's normal to act a little unlike yourself because you're nervous or whatever, but that would also explain why girls start reacting to you differently when they know you for a while.

If the answer to that question is no, there might be something else. Which, not knowing you, I can't say for sure. So if there's an ex that you're still on good(ish) terms with, or that you would find it easy to talk to, maybe you could ask them if they have any suggestions for you.

Otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much -- you can't be everyone's cup of tea, and dating is all about trying people out to see if you're compatible. It doesn't necessarily have to be that you're doing something wrong, just that the two of your aren't compatible with one another. So don't worry too much about it -- you'll find your perfect girl one day. :o) Just be yourself and everything else will take care of itself.

Answer 2

From what you said you're doing nothing. But then again we are not getting the whole story and these girls wouldn't just turn away for nothing if everything is going right. Look at your actions and behavior after you've been with one for a while. Does it change after you get more comfortable like most guys do? Look at her body language, read her you'll see what it is you are doing that makes her run. With no more information all I can really say is you have to be doing something whether you know it or not to make them leave. And don't be clingy that will make them run faster then you think. If everything is going ok there really is no need to be clingy. And most of all communicate. If you think you're doing something wrong ask, its ok to ask. Best of luck in future relationships and I hope you figure this out.

Answer 3

Hmmmmmm, maybe perhaps you just might be a little too clingy. But, the best way to get an answer is to ask someone you know who is unbiased (non-judgemental). Ask a male friend.
Now I am a female and let me tell you a few pointers:
Girls play a game called "passive aggressive" and my freind, even though I am a girl myself..this behavior bugs the sh** out of me...I HATE it and chicks do it all the f-ing time!!!. They say they like you but they really don't..get me?
Here's what turns them on: 1)Be clean..every single day--look clean, smell clean, etc.
2) wear a nice cologne--nothing too strong and stay the hell away from Old Spice! Chicks LOOOVE a nice smellin' man.
3) Update your wardrobe--look clean and chic--trust me, they'll notice you.
4) be sincere at all times--no BS-ing, no lying, no sweet talking in sweet mama's ear--get it?
5) If you have all your hair--lucky you--get a new cut--or if little to no hair--wear a skull cap--they look cool--The Edge from U2 wears one everyday.
6) Don't play games and don't call the girl too often..
Hope this helps

Answer 4

I used to do that, date a guy, and then stop calling after a couple of months, it must have seemed like no particular reason to them.

My reasons were...

1. Clingy, total turn off, I like the ones that play hard to get

2. Just plain bored, like you said, spark went out. Sex wasn't as great any more, because it wasn't new and exciting any more.

3. Some times, the more you know some one, the less you like them. At that point all the little things turn me off

4. Met some one / hotter /funnier / smarter / better in bed.

Answer 5

There has to be something you've left out of the equation. From the information that you've told me, you'd seem like a pretty average or normal guy (not psycho). Would you consider yourself a shy guy? Are you TOO laid back? Sometimes those qualities can work against you. It can put you in the friendship zone. My best friend was in love with me for nearly a year and a half, but becasue he was so laid back and was deathly shy I had no idea. He became my best friend and I started to date other guys. Does that sound like you? If so, make sure you're direct about what you want. If you like her, let her know.

Answer 6

maybe you're picking the wrong girls, maybe they're only after a bit of fun, like the rush you get at the start of a relationship.... Or maybe you just aren't the one. You don't have to have an arguement with someone or n e thing like that to just not be in love with them. Your gprincess will come along one day, just have some fun until you find her. Don't let it get you down!!

Answer 7

Seriously, contact your exes and ask them what killed it for them. That's the only way you will get an accurate answer.

But, if in any way you act needy or clingy, I have to say, that is a real turn off. Even if you don't think you are acting needy, there might be something you are doing that is needy. Ask them, then let us know what they say.

Answer 8

no nead to be rude, but depending on your ages, the "clingy" thing can effect a majority of the relationship, no matter how good you are to some people, if your clingy, that's all they'll see, not that you care, or your trying 2 be kind or nothing Mainly just try not 2 be clingy if thts the case, but it could just be the girls in general that u go out with

Answer 9

well sweetie to tell you the truth nothing wrong with you you just have not found the right one yet for you. you have bin attracted to the ones that are to independent and you strangle them . with you caring you need to find a girl that is in need of a man that will make her feel like number one in his life. that sh one that girl that no one sees for she is hiding behind all the loud ones . look behind the loud ones. look at the one that is sitting at the table and most of the time alone because her friends are all over the place but she just sits there and watches everyone

Answer 10

well from what you said, i think you are clingy. i think that when you find someone you like you easily attach to them, and women need time to them self , they dont want someone that is there so much that they cant make time to do other things they like to do without thier guys. so you need to be there for them but know when to give them space, know when your being to clingy so that you can retreat a little to give her space. women still like to go see thier families and their girl friends without their boyfriends. when the time comes that they want more of you in thier life as far as being with them alot more is when they are getting to where they want to get married kind of status. so just tell them in the begining then that you tend to be clingy so your told, that if you get that way for them to let you know cause you dont want to do that to them. be open about it. then that way they wont find the need to just write you off like they do. they will be more inclined to say hey i am meating up with the girls tonight or family and i need some space. good luck