if your child, although grown, constantly expects the unconditional love you gave him as a youngster, but acts irresponsibly as an adult and wants you to bail him out all the time, will tough love help or hinder?
2006-08-07 13:57:12 · 6 answers · asked by jerzeme 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Let's separate some terms here. Unconditional love means that we love someone without any reservations. Tough love means that while we still love a person unconditionally, we do not always love or like or respect their behavior. I will always love my kids but I discipline their behavior out of that same sense of love. Not only does tough love work, it is sometimes essential in helping a person to help themselves. By allowing children of any age to become dependent on us, we set up a dangerous proposition that they will not be able to fend for themselves and make right decisions when we are not there anymore. Sometimes we need to let them feel the consequences of their choices. If we are talking about issues having to do with drugs or alcohol, you must realize that this may be a life or death issue. Enabling a person may be the very thing that will hinder them from getting clean and sober.
2006-08-07 14:25:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 4⤋
Yes it does work and just because your children are irresponsible and do bad things doesn't mean that you stop loving them but children need to accept the consequences of their actions. If parents keep bailing them out then they'll never learn.
2006-08-07 14:05:28 · answer #2 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very tough to say!! If your child is used to you bailing them out than I think it will defiently have a negative effect on things when your child wants your help again and you dont help them. They are sooo used to being helped and when that stops, it makes them feel that they are not loved. They dont understand that you are just trying to help them to be more responsible.
2006-08-07 14:04:11 · answer #3 · answered by luvinmjc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband started this with his 24 year old and so far it has worked she is figuring out her own solutions and we have some money in the bank.
2006-08-07 14:01:53 · answer #4 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does work but you have to be tough and stand or your principle.
2006-08-07 14:13:32 · answer #5 · answered by busthead213 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it works but you must be consistant
2006-08-07 14:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by him n her♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋