Can you help me with some bad pick-up lines?

Question

I am making a list to use this Friday night.
(Hopefully this will help my unlucky streak!)

I will give 10 points for the best.

Answer 1

Hope I bleeped it all. Enjoy...


"If you're going to regret this in the morning, we can sleep until the afternoon."
"My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!"
"You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong."
"Do you want to go to breakfast?" (Sure) "Should I call you, or nudge you?"
Go up to a girl and say "Hi! My name is Haywood Jablomee" - submitted by Allen (fixed by WEEDMAN)
"Come on sweetheart, why don't you just let me put the head in..." - what a classic
"Mind if i stand here until it's safe where i farted" - submitted by Barry Thickk
"You must wash your clothes with windex... because I can see myself in your pants!" - submitted by "The Richmiester"
"Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No? Want to go upstairs and talk?"
"Excuse me, is your name Gillette? cause you're the best a man can get" - submitted by B.J.F
"I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you" - submitted by B.J.F
"Wanna go halves on a b******???" (Non-serious) - submitted by NeoPlasmaX
"Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"
First buy an ice cream and find a hot girl, then say "I'm sorry to bother you, but your melting my ice cream!" - submitted by Jason
"The word of the day is legs. Let's go back to my crib and spread the word."
"I'm not actually this tall, I've got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet."
"Do you know the difference between my ***** and a chicken leg? No? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!"
"Excuse me. Do you want to f**k or should I apologize?"
"I'm going to have sex with you tonight, so... you might as well be there."
"What's your name? Where you from? Do you plan on giving me some?"
"Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway."
"Nice shoes, wanna f**k?"
"What do you say we go back to my crib and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply."
"Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."
You say "Do you want to do a 68?" she says "What's that?" you say "You go down, and I'll owe you one."
"Life is like a di**. When it gets hard, "**** it". "
"Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration?"
"Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under."
"Sex is like Pringles: once you pop, you can't stop. "
"Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it. "
"Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart."
"The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name. "
"Will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into that cheap motel room."
"I bet you $20 you're gonna turn me down."
"What smiles, winks, is hung like a horse, and can last all night long?" (smile and wink)
"I'll cook you dinner if you cook me breakfast."
"Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"
"I have a six inch tongue and I can breath through my ears. "
"Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?"
"I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good."
"If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"
"What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?"
"You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad."
you say "You look just like my first wife" she says "How many times have you been married?" you say "never".
"If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever. "
"you say "I'm sorry, but you owe me a drink" she says "Why?" you say "Because I dropped mine when I looked at you"
"If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the ****! "
"If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world."
"Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend? "
"When God made you, he was showing off."
"If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents. "
"My boys over there bet that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Want to buy some drinks with their money?"
"When I'm older looking back at all of my finest memories, and I'll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you. "
"I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you."
"Do you remember when you were a little kid and you wanted a toy really bad when you went to the store, but your mom wouldn't let you get it, no matter how much you begged?? Well that's how I feel about you."
"It's not my fault I fell in love, you're the one who tripped me! "
"Why do you have to be so damn fine every single day? Can't you take a break and let me concentrate on something else for a change? "
"Love ain't nothin' but sex misspelled. "
"I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours? "
"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by you again?"
"Hey baby, is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would like to tap that a**! "
"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?"
"How about you come sit on my lap and we talk about the first thing that "pops" up!"
"If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?"
"Could I touch your belly button...from the inside?"

1. That shirt looks very becoming on you....of course if I were on you I'd
be coming too.

2. If I said you had a nice body, would you hold it against me...Please??!!

3. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

4. Are your legs tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day.

5. Is your father a thief? Because he stole the stars from the skies and put
them in your eyes!

6. Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

7. That dress looks nice....Of course, it'd look even better crumpled up in
the corner of my room.

8. Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven's a long way from here.

9. Pardon me, is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I keep seeing myself
in your pants.

10. Hey baby, wanna sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that
pops up!?

11. Would you like to have breakfast tomorrow? Should I nudge you or call
you?

12. (Check female's shirt tag)....Just as I thought, made in heaven!

13. Were your parents Greek gods? Because it takes two gods to make a
goddess.

14. Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow
yours?

15. Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!

16. Your name is Sandra, huh? Can I call you Sandy? Really, what time?

17. Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

18. Have you seen (any movie)? Would you like to?

19. My face is leaving in 10 minutes... are you gonna be on it or not?

20. Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?

21. Do you have any Italian in you? Would you like some?

22. If I gave you a sexy negligee, would there be anything in it for me?

23. I'm new in town, could I get directions to your place?

24. Miss, if you've lost your virginity, could I have the box it came in?

25. Hi, the voices in my head told me to come talk to you!

26. Do you sleep on your front? Do you mind if I do?

27. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

28. Do you know the essential difference between sex and conversation? No,
huh...So you want to go somewhere and talk?

29. That's a nice shirt...could I talk you out of it?

30. (Female at the copy machine) Reproducing, eh? Mind if I help?

31. That dress looks great on you...as a matter of fact, so would I.

32. Hey baby, you want to see something swell?

33. Hi, I'm conducting a feel test to see how many women here have pierced
nipples....

34. Are you religious? Cause I'm the answer to all your prayers!

35. I love every bone in your body...especially mine.

36. (With hands on shoulders) Oh, those are shoulder blades, I thought they
were wings.

37. Pardon me, are you in heat?!

38. Are you O.K.? Because heaven's a long fall from here.

39. You know, I never was to good at math... like if I put you and I together,
I'd get 69.

40. You have pretty eyeballs. Of course they'd be better if they were eyeing
my pretty balls.

41. You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

42. Can I borrow a quarter? Cause my mom told me to call home when I met the
girl of my dreams.

43. Was it love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

44. You're good at math right? Is 69 a perfect square?

45. Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!

46. Your face or mine?

47. Hey, here's the word for the day: legs. Whatdya say we go upstairs and
spread the word?!

48. Am I dead, Angel? Cause this must be heaven!

49. Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a
feed bag!

50. Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.

51. Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

52. Make a calling card that says.....Smile if you want to sleep with me!
Then watch your victim try to hold back her smile.

53. Hi, my name's (_____), how do you like me so far?

54. Why don't you sit on my lap and we'll get things straight between the two
of us.

55. Hey baby! Wanna go get some pizza and *****? What-- you don't like pizza?

56. She: (to passing man) Do you have the time?
Him: Do you have the energy?

57. Bond. James Bond.

58. You know, I'd really love to screw your brains out, but it appears
someone has already beat me to it.

59. You look like the type of girl who has heard every line in the book. So,
what's one more?

60. Her: What do you think of this (dress, sweater, blouse, etc.)?
Him: I like nothing better.

61. Walk up to a lady at a social gathering (party, club, etc.) and simply
ask, "are you ready to go home now?

62. You know, I'd give you a piece of my mind, but I've got more of something
else.

63. At the dinner table, if you eat together, pick up the bread and ask,
"Wanna roll?"

64. You know, you've got the prettiest teeth I've ever dreamed of coming
across.

65. That's a really nice smile you've got, shame that's not all you are
wearing.

66. Think you can dance in those shoes?

67. OK, you can stand next to me as long as you don't talk about the heat.

68. Ask girl if she likes jewelry. Then grab your **** and say, "Then ****
this, it's a gem!"

69. You're 'No Parking' right? Just trying to guess your sign.

70. Why don't you surprise your room-mate/parents and not go home tonight?

71. Good looking waitress pouring a drink: Say when!
Guy: As soon as I finish this drink.

72. Lie down. I think I love you.

73. What's a nice girl like you doing with a face like that?

74. I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.

75. If I weren't so romantic, I'd shoot you.

76. My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.

77. My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off your blouse in a public
place.

78. Can you believe that just a few hours ago we'd never even been to bed
together?

79. I know a great way to burn off the calories from that pastry you just
ate.

80. Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned
body?

81. Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside
out....) Would you like to?

82. You know I really am James Bond's body double.

83. Stand back, I'm a doctor! You go get an ambulance and I'll loosen her
clothes.

84. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

85. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.

86. Hey baby, wanna play carnival? That's where you sit on my face and I
guess your age and weight.

87. You: Tickle your a** with a feather? Her: What?! You: I said 'Particular
nice weather?'!

88. Hey baby, wanna play train conductor? OK. You sit on my face and I'll
Chew, chew, chew! (choo!)

89. Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw
you my meat.

90. Do you know the difference between my ***** and a chicken leg? No???
Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!

91. Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you
take this for a swallow?

92. Stand back, I'm a police officer! You go call for backup and I'll frisk
her!

93. Do you have a library card? Good, cause I wanna check you out!

94. Your warm eyes melt the iciness of my heart.

95. (At church during a sermon) (Put your arm around your gal...) Honey, I
don't know where he is....(motioning to the preacher) but I do know
I'm here with you.

96. Baby, you look better and better each day...and tonight, you look like
tomorrow!

97. Here's a quarter....call your room-mate and tell her you won't be coming
home tonight!

98. Hey baby, you smell, let's take a shower together!

99. Baby, you with those curves and me with no brakes! Mmmmm!

100. Hey baby, whatdya say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?

101. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

102. Can I borrow a quarter? [why?] Cuz I wanna call your mom and thank her!

103. You're so hot, you melt the plastic in my underwear!

104. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and
take/eat what I want!

105. Let's go back to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did
anyway!

106. My name is ______. Just remember that, so you'll know what to scream
later.

107. Nice shoes. Wanna ****?

108. Can I flirt with you?

109. Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you sure have a nice set of buns!

110. [Checking her shirt tag] Just making sure you were the right size!

111. (Grab her a**...) Pardon me, is this seat taken?

112. Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?

113. Can I have directions? (to where?) To your heart!

114. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

115. So....how am I doin'?

116. How bout you and me go back to my place and get you out of those wet
clothes?

117. (Tapping your leg) You just think this is my leg.

118. You know what would look good on you? Me!

119. Excuse me, but I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a
cab home together?

120. Go up to a girl in a bar, and slip your arm around her, and say, "Hi
Kate!" She says, "I'm not Kate!" And you say, as your hand slips a little
lower, "But you sure feel like her!"

121. She: Gee, I really enjoyed myself tonight!
He: Me too. Maybe we could let our bodies enjoy each other sometime!

122. Pardon me, I was just about to go home and masturbate, and I was
wondering if you would mind if I fantasised about you?

123. I've had a pretty bad day, and it usually makes me feel better to see a
pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

124. Overheard in a computer lab: Just because our computers are incompatible
doesn't mean we are!

125. Hey baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?

126. Hey, didn't we go to different schools together?

127. You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

128. Would you like Gin and plantonic, or would you prefer Scotch and sofa?

129. What's your favourite position on extramarital sex?

130. I'm really sorry about Al. It was a lovely funeral. You look ravishing
in black, did you know that? What you need now is a nice backrub. Are the
straps too tight, darling? How tragic. How very, very tragic.

131. Hello, Susie. Your mom couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to
pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.

132. Excuse me, do you live around here often?

133. I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade!

134. I've got an itch honey. Lower. Lower. In. Out.

135. I'm on fire baby, can I run through your sprinkler?

136. Sex is a killer. Wanna die happy?

137. I have only three months to live...

138. Hey baby, what's your sign? All you can eat?

139. Hi! I'm Big Brother, and I've been watching you!

140. Where have you been all my life?

141. In the produce department: "How can you tell if these things are ripe?"

142. Hey, weren't you Miss Virginia last year?

143. Don't worry about it. Nothing that you've ever done before counts. The
only thing that matters is that we're together.

144. I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?

145. Your daddy must be a drug dealer, cuz you're dope.

146. Hey baby, can I tickle your belly-button from the inside?

147. If I follow you home, will you keep me?

148. Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile

149. Go up to a girl and tell her she has nice legs....then ask would she mind
if you named them. She says ok, and you say ok this one is Thanksgiving
and that one is Christmas.....would you mind if I visited between the
holidays?

150. Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

151. Hi. I suffer from amnesia. Do I come here often?

152. As she's leaving....Hey aren't you forgetting something? She: What? Me!

153. Have you run into any trees lately? Then how bout a root!

154. Hey baby, you wanna **** or should I apologize?

155. If you want me, don't shake me, or wake me, just take me.

156. Want to see my stamp collection?

157. Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it
ain't floppy.

158. Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no') , OK
then, can we just practice?

159. Excuse me, you have some lipstick on your tooth, mind if I lick it off?

160. Do you know how to use a whip?

161. Do you wash your panties with Windex? Cuz I keep seeing myself in them.

162. Are those space pants? Cuz your a** is out of this world!

163. How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to
make for you in the morning!

164. Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!

165. You: Hi, wanna ****?
Her: No!
Me: Mind lying down while I have one?

166. Baby, I'm an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!

167. Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

168. Excuse me, maam, is that dress felt? Would you like it to be?

169. You: I'm sorry, were you talking to me?
Her: No.
You: Well then, please start.

170. I've got the ship, you've got the harbor...what say we tie up for the
night?

171. Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends
because my face seats five.

172. Wanna go halves in a baby?

173. You: I hear you like to sing. Her: Yeah... You: (Whip out your pud) Well,
then step up to the mike!

174. Pardon me, what pickup line works best with you?

175. Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynaecologist.

176. Can I see your tan lines?

177. I'm not trying anything, I always put my hands there.

178. Beauty is only a light switch away...

179. If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

180. Do you have a map? I just get lost in your eyes.

181. Do you have a boyfriend? Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk
to me.

182. I'll bet you 10 bucks I could get all your clothes off in 30 seconds...

183. I was sitting here holding this cigarrete and I realized I'd rather be
holding you.

184. If your parents hadn't met I'd be very a very unhappy man right now!

185. Do you know the difference between a hamburger and a b*** j**? No! D'ya
wanna do lunch?

186. Hey baby, sit on my face and let me get to 'nose' you better!

187. You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from
afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

189. Motion your finger for girl to come over to you, when she gets there say,
I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with TWO!

190. Hey baby, are you a glover? NO? Well, I am, wanna wear me?

191. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

192. Is it hot in here, or is it just you?

193. Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn
me on!

194. Stand still so I can pick you up!

195. Hi, we're taking a survey and I need your phone number. If you give it
to me, I'll call you and tell you the results.

196. I didn't know that angels could fly so low!

197. Excuse me, but I think I dropped something!!! MY JAW!!

198. Do you like music?(Yes) Good, I've got a great stereo in my car!

199. Are you looking for Mr. Right, or Mr. Right Now?

200. Man: (beckons woman with finger)
Woman:(Approaches man)
Man: Do you always c*m when someone fingers you?

201. Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a
biscuit!

202. Really like your peaches, wanna shake your tree.

203. Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the
face.

204. Pardon me, but are those stretch marks around your mouth?

205. Do you want to hear a joke that'll make you laugh your t*ts off?.. Oh,
you've already heard it..

206. I like your butt, can I wear it as a hat?

207. Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?

208. I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.

209. Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.

210. Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly colour coordinated.

211. Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

212. Go up to a girl at a bar or a dance and ask her "do you want a f***(wait
for a second gauging her reaction) and then say ...ing drink.

213. Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a
tiger?" She says no. Then wink.

214. Wasn't I supposed to eat you somewhere?

215. Excuse me do fries come with that shake?

216. I'd spend money on you I haven't even made.

217. I would give you more money than a show dog could jump over.

218. Baby, you look good coming AND going!

219. I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.

220. I can't decide if you are a better person than you are a woman or you
are a better woman than you are a person.

221. So...Do you ****, or do I owe you an apology?

222. Well hello there! How you screwin; glad to eat ya!

223. I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.

224. Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me
to introduce myself.

225. If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

226. He: You look like my third wife.
She: Oh, how many time have you been married?
He: Twice.

227. Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the
ice, will you sleep with me?"

228. I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

229. I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

230. You know what I like about you? My arms.

231. What did you say? Oh, I thought you were talking to me.

232. So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just
conversation?

233. You make my software turn to hardware!

234. As long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit.

235. Was you father an alien? No, why? Because there's nothing else like you
on earth!

236. Hey baby, How would you like to join me in some math? We'll add you and
me, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!

237. Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!

238. Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

239. Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been touched by an angel?

240. Hello, I'm a thief, and I'm here to steal your heart.

241. You must be a hell of a thief 'cause you stole my heart from across the
room.

242. There are 256 bones in the human body. How'd ya like one more?

243. As the sun illuminates the moon and the stars, so let us illuminate each
other.

244. Are you going places or just being taken?

245. If god made anything prettier, I hope he kept it for himself.

246. I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours?

247. Gee Girl, your eyes remind me of crescent wrenches, every time I look
into them my nuts tighten!

248. Hey baby I want to take you to Hawaii. To the island of "comona, wanna,
lay ya!"

249. If you have a fake leg (or if you don't), rub hers and if she says
anything say "I'm sorry, I thought that was my leg."

250. Baby, if you were a flower, I would pick you!

251. Baby, you're so fine, you're my 9.9...

252. Hey, I just noticed you looking at me across the room. I'll give a
minute to catch your breath!

253. What's the best thing to come out of a *****? the wrinkles!

254. Hey baby, is your name Gillette? Cuz you're the best a man can get!

255. You know, I have a romantic side....let's go back to my room and see how
long it takes you to find out!

256. Girl, you must be a tater tot, cuz you're Orida!

257. (As they walk past) Why don't you come back here and fall in love with
me!

258. Girl, you've got more curves than a back-country road!

259. Baby, you're hotter than Georgia asphalt on a summer day!

260. Hey baby, will it bother you if I sleep in the nude?

261. Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!

262. She: You're so sweet... He: Well, it's easy to be sweet when you're
talking to sugar!

263. Hi, my name's coffee, cuz I'll keep you up all night!

264. Hey baby, you look like you need a one-way ticket on the roly-poly
express ride of love!

265. I say your picture in the dictionary today, it was under KABAAM!

266. I hope you don't mind me giving you this rose, but, I just had to show
it how you beautiful you are...

267. Write a small note, at the end write: "Believe me when I say that my
heart cries out to you and if kisses could be sent in writing you would be
reading this letter with your lips."

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
3

0
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!
3

0
Did you clean your pants with Windex? I can practically see myself in them.
5

0
Do you have a boyfriend? [No] Want one? [Yes] Well, when you want a MANfriend, come and talk to me.
4

0
Do you want to see something swell?
4

0
Excuse me, but you have a beep on your nose. What? (Reach up and gently squeeze her nose) BEEP!
7

0
Excuse me, I'm a little short on cash, would you mind if we shared a cab home together?
6

0
Hey babe, wanna make an easy fifty bucks?
2

0
Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
4

0
I am conducting a field test of how many woman have pierced nipples.
2

0
I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk.
2

0
I'd marry your cat just to get in the family.
5

0
I've gotta thirst, baby, and you smell like my Gatorade.
1

0
My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
2

0
No, I'm not a cop. What can I get for fifty bucks?
2

0
Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours?
6

0
Pardon me, are you in heat?!
2

0
Should I call you in the morning or nudge you?
5

0
So, you're a girl huh?
6

1
Stand back, I'm a doctor. You go get an ambulance, I'll loosen her clothes.
1

0
Want to come see my HARD DRIVE? I promise it isn't 3.5 inches and it ain't floppy.
2

0
Would you like to come over to my place later? You can bring some friends because my face seats five.
2

0
You know how they say skin is the largest organ? Not in my case.
1

0
You make my software turn to hardware!
1

0
You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
2

0

Submitted LineAttemptsSuccesses
To a girl with braces, and if you have them as well: "Hey, wanna hook up sometime?"
---

---
If you were a booger I'd pick you first.
not enough

0
Pardon me, have you seen my missing Nobel Prize around here anywhere?
---

---
Are you accepting applications for your fan club?
---

---
Hey baby... drop that zero and get with the hero in other words... you better come with me.
10

10
Hey baby you're so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what's your name?
---

---
My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to
---

---
Hi... would you **** me? I'd **** me, I'd **** me real hard!!
---

---
Is your name Pepsi cause' I've gotta have it.
---

---
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said I couldn't go by myself.....
---

---
Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.
---

---
When I first saw you, I knew we could win the Stanley Cup in tonsil hockey.
---

---
Want to taste my ****? (What!?!) I said, "do you want to taste my drink?"
---

---
They call me "coffee". I grind so fine.
---

---
Can I stir your drink? Mind if I use my ****?
---

---
Which one of the Spice girls are you?
54

2
Male: Hey, I don't feel to good. Female: Why? Male: I feel like I have an elephant in my stomach. Female: What? Male: (looking down) I think his truck is already sticking out.
1

0
Weren't you at the tractor pull last night? I remember your ****.
---

---
Hi, my name is Doug. That's "god" spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.
---

---
(Used while you and a male friend wear a bib. Walk up and stare at breasts) Mama!
---

0
This is a test of the emergency pick up line service. Beeeeeeeeeep. If you had been any less beautiful, you would have just heard a bad pick up line.
Instead, they had to hear that.

0
Hi. I'm an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.
---

0
Guy: I bet you're a C-cup. Girl: How'd you know that? Guy: My testicles are the same size.
---

0
My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in
---

0
Did your father have sex with a carrot? Cause you've got nice eyes.
---

0
I'm bigger and better than the Titanic..... only 200 woman went down on the Titanic
---

0
Can I take you to the Bone-yard?
---

0
I may not be dairy queen but I'll treat you right!!!
---

0
Tickle your p**** with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularly nice weather."
---

0
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.
---

0
Did you just sit in a water puddle, or are you just happy to see me?
---

0
Damn, have you been eating beans and rice lately?
---

0
I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?
---

0
I just **** into my pants. Can I get into yours?
4

-3
Do you like magic? (Yes or No) I want to cast a spell on you with my magic meat wand.
---

0
For what sort of person are you looking? Wait- don't tell me: medium height, blue eyes, etc...
15

5
Roses are red, violets are blue, I have warts, so will you.
---

0
Don't worry about the missing teeth. It just means that there is more room for your tongue.
---

0

---

0
I can see you. [Uh, yeah.] Great! Then how about tomorrow.
4

2!!!
Hi, I'm foreign. I've got Russian hands and Roman fingers.
Get it? Rushing and Roaming?

Haa haa
Excuse me. I'm from the FBI, the Fine Body Investigators, and I'm going to have to ask you to assume the position.
?

2
So you wanna get laid? Then crawl up a chicken's butt and wait.
---

0
If you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.
---

0
Can you help me up? My **** is too big.
---

0
Can I borrow 70 cents? (No) Then how about 69. I'm sure you can offer 69.
---

0
Excuse me, but do you have tickets? (Tickets for what?) (Points to arm and flex) To the gun show!
---

0
You remind me of Pokemon. I just wanna piccachu.
---

0
Beww BEWWW Beww (What?) That is the sound of the ambulance coming to pick me up because when I saw you my heart stopped!
---

0
Good day for weather.
---

0
You know what you and corn have in common? (No) Absolutely nothing! (laugh hysterically at yourself.)
---

0
I wet my pants... can I get in yours?
---

0
Got two nipples for a dime?
---

0
Are you Natasha, my contact?
---

0
You must be this beautiful (make hand gesture for small height) to ride the me.
---

0
You're so hot, your a** is on fire.
15

12 (I believe this guy)
If you were a dwarf, you'd probably say I got a big ****.
---

0
You know, when you and I get old and your son/daughter comes up to me and says "Daddy, how did you meet mommy?" I'm gonna have to tell him/her how quiet you were, or how difficult you were being."
---

0
OK, it's not very big and I'm not very good, but I've got the cutest little way of getting on and off.
---

0
Drive around like a car and make screeching sounds and say "Uh, sorry, my uh, breaks aren't working well. Where are you headed?"
---

0
Excuse me. Do you have chicken in your fridge? (yes) How big are your breasts?
---

0
It's not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
---

0
Um, you have really beautiful.....uh....eyes, yea. You are pretty. What I mean is... You have a nice forehead. (Messing Up) Do you believe in when I walk by..... (To yourself) Oh Man, sh*t, STUPID STUPID STUPID!
---

0

---

0
Ever tried to poop into a toilet when there's someone sitting there with you? (nudge with elbow)
---

0
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
---

0
You must be an adverb, because you sure do modify me!
---

0
Excuse me. Do you put on a foundation before you put on a powder? (Yeah.) Can I have your phone number?
---

0
I think you and I should dipthong.
---

0
I'd suck a fart out of your a** and hold it like a bong hit.
---

0
Hi, I have my own place... well, my own room... in my parents basement...
---

0
Put a pen and a $20 in your pocket. Approach the target and take out the twenty and the pen. Rip the $20 in half and write your number on one half. Give the target the other half, then say call me tonight so we can figure out how to spend that money, and walk away.
---

0
Did you invite all of these people? I thought it was just going to be the two of us.
---

0
Your graphics are so beautiful that they rival Doom 3.
---

0
Can I try a few pick up lines on you? [give some good ones and some lame ones] OK, I have just one more line for you: Can I try a few pick up lines on you?
1

1
(Rub her forehead) Did you know that you've got "threesome" written on your forehead?
---

0
My name is Justin. Justincredible.
---

0
Hey, there. I've got a question for you. What's the speed limit of sex? (I don't know) 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!
---

0
Excuse me, but would you like to hold the priesthood?
---

0
If you were my sister/brother, incest would be cool.
---

0
Was your father a 'meat burgler'? It looks like somebody took fine hams and shoved them down the back of your dress!
---

0

Answer 2

ones used on me: I've got the S, T, and D now all I need is U Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see! Pardon me miss, I seem to have lost my phone number, could I borrow yours? I'm scared of the dark can I come cuddle with you? Do you have a band-aid because I just scraped my knee falling for you

Answer 3

HOnestly, the worst one i have ever heard is "Do I know you?"

I have had that asked to me so many times and it is just horrible.
You are then stuck in a dead end conversation and there is no polite way out of it.

Answer 4

If I had a nickel for every woman I saw as hot as you, I would now have 5 cents!

Answer 5

If I told you, you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

I lost my phone number, can I borrow yours?

You're the reason men fall in love.

Answer 6

When you have to excuse yourself to urinate, tell her, "Pardon me for a moment; I have to go shake hands with an intimate acquaintance of mine, whom I hope to be able to introduce to you before the evening is over."

Answer 7

I'll be right over here when you're ready to go...and then just walk away like an arrogant pig.

Answer 8

ohhh!!! CHERIE!! The worse pick-up line I've had to deal with is someone complimenting me on my HAZEL EYES (which are gorgeous, by the way!)...It's one thing to compliment me for my eyes...but, when a guy says, 'HEY, HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU THAT YOU HAVE PRETTY EYES??" No, FOOL, you're the FIRST ONE!!....

Answer 9

Miss, if you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I miss my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You know, those clothes would look great in a crumpled pile on my bedroom floor in the morning.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
do you sleep on you stomach?
(no)
can i ?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey baby...how 'bout coming back to my house for a little pizza and sex?"
(The Girl Gets Offended, And You Say...)
"What's wrong? You don't like pizza?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) For large-breasted woman dressed you-know-how:
"Do fries go with that shake?" (thighs?)
2)Same situation:
"If those are speakers they should be at least twelve feet apart."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If you are what you eat, can I be you?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"do you wash your pants in windex, cause i can see my face in them!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If I could be anything in the world for just one day I'd want to be you."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If I could be anything in the world I'd want to be the bar of soap in your shower." (or towel)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Sex with you is so amazing...but I wonder how much better it would be if you were with me at the time."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey beautiful, you must have a mirror in your pocket....cause I can definitely see myself in your pants."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey baby, ever seen my ceiling?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter. I would love to have a vacation between the holidays."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Lay Down...I think I Love You!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math...add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs and multiply.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey, are you wearing space pants?
I don't know, why do you ask?
Well, because from here, your *** looks out of this world!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you sleep on your stomach? No.... Can I?
Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I'll slam you all night long.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh, you're a bird watcher...Well, would you take this for a swallow?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey, Iet's play army! I'll lay down, and you can blow the hell out of me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it would be a good thing if you had sex with me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"That dress looks becoming on you... but if I was wrapped around you...I'd be coming too."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey there, the word of the day is 'legs' ...now lets go home and spread the word."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You're so fine I'd suck the farts out of your ***. (My best friend used this line.)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hey, babe, how about a banana split?...I've got the banana if you've got the split."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap and we can talk about the first thing that pops up."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gesture for the person to come over... "I just made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with the rest of my body."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I love every bone in your body...especially mine.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

F**k me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Gretchen?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I have 206 bones in my body. When i think of you, i have 207!!"

Answer 10

you: did it hurt??

her: did what hurt

you: when you fell from heaven?
.....................
you: do you hear that? (make a faint ambulance noise)

her: uhh yea whats that?

you: thats the ambulance coming to take me away cuz you just made my heart stop
........................
you: can i have your number? i've missplaced mine.
......................
you: Don't you wish you could rearrange the alphabet so that u and i could be together?
......................
and if the girl is rude to you say this


you: if i was as ugly as you, i would take what i could get! hahahah
................
do you believe in love at first sight or do i need to walk by again???

Answer 11

"Great legs, what time do they open?"
"You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day."
"Is that a mirror in your pants? 'Cuz I can see myself in 'em."
"Damn I wish I'd met you 2 months ago. I woulda met you sooner."
"Your father must be a thief, 'cuz he stole the stars in the sky and put 'em in your eyes."