I have a friend that I been doing for a couple of years. We see each other every night and the sex is great. But the puss in me wants more. Should I ruin a good thing and tell her I want a relationship (not just relations) or should I just keep plugging away.
2006-08-07 12:58:04 · 43 answers · asked by itsnotmyfault 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, friends with benefits is an AWFUL idea, especially if one of you wants more. There is no such thing as "casual sex" . Sex by it's very definition is an intimate experience. If you want a relationship it's time to step up to the plate and SAY SO, if you continue just having sex your feelings, which are already heavily involved, will just continue to grow and deepen. Be honest with yourself and this girl and tell the truth. Even if it ends the "friends with benefits" you'll at least know where you stand, as it is now, you're just using each other, it's better to lose her and go on and find someone who wants a real relationship than to continue lying to yourself and her by keeping your feelings inside. Who knows, she may want the same thing, and no matter how good the sex is, sex with someone who loves you as much as you love them is the best sex there is, because it's unselfish, giving and loving, on both sides.
2006-08-07 13:04:57 · answer #1 · answered by Angeleyes 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as both people are on the same page and no one is expecting it to lead to a relationship; but since you're past that...
I would suggest that you let your friend know that you can't do the sex thing anymore, because you're starting to want more and you don't want to lose the friendship. If the friend wants more too, then great, if not, then at least you'll have a shot at preserving your friendship.
Good luck.
2006-08-07 13:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by LifesAMystery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think after these years, she must have feelings for you also. SHE is probably afraid that she'll ruin it if she indicates she wants a relationship..Actually, most girls wouldn't let a guy get with her for so long if she was just into the sex because it would get old if she didn't find you really sexy and awesome!! I think you should ask her out and you will probably be pleasantly surprised at her answer. Good luck, I hope everything works out :)
2006-08-07 13:04:27 · answer #3 · answered by muslimah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is great but it doesn't make a real relationship, it just enhances it. Friends with benefits only works if you aren't emotionally involved, so no, this is probably not the best situation for you. If you have feelings for her, you should tell her. She could be okay with it or weirded out, but I think you should take your chance. She may have feelings for you too. So give it a try.
2006-08-07 13:20:58 · answer #4 · answered by CSB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most guys can deal with FWB but only some women can. The chance is that she's already emotionally involved with you. Are you willing to risk losing a FWB for a more meaningful relationship? If you want a relationship, you should communicate with her honestly. It's likely that she feels the same way. If not, she's still likely to keep you around as a FWB.
2006-08-07 13:07:44 · answer #5 · answered by Chicagoan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
plug away ,but if you really want to know what she thinks.. there are some things you can do. talk about relationships in general and see what her opinion is about them it should give you a little idea of what she wants without riskng loosing the sex.
2006-08-07 13:03:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't continue on the track that you are on, because you have feelings for her. If you don't tell her and keep doing what your doing then sooner or later she will find someone else and you will be left alone hurt. I mean, yeah you could ruin a good thing, but...which is worst?
2006-08-07 13:05:19 · answer #7 · answered by pan2fly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are ready for a relationship then you might want to have that discussion. If you think your friend is a good candidate then say so. She will be flattered. You are smooth. You know what to say and how to say it. Not only that, but you are honest and good, and she wouldn't come over if she didn't really like you. You respect her and she knows that. So go ahead and be the friend you think you are and say something.
2006-08-07 13:02:50 · answer #8 · answered by Cattlemanbob 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just the expression sucks, what the f---- people cant even say the word lover anymore. That expression disgusts me to the max and anyone whose ever wanted me for a friend with benefits just blew the chance to have a real good friend. Period.
2006-08-07 13:30:24 · answer #9 · answered by yourdoneandover 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youve been doing her every night for years - well I hate to point this out but that IS a relationship!!! You started with sex, now work back to lunch dates and a conversation!!
2006-08-07 13:04:00 · answer #10 · answered by vaivagabundo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋