what should i do? stay with the one i love, or move and go to college 3,000 miles away?

Question

Here is my problem, I am 20 years old living in ohio, and been with this girl who loves me more than the world for a year and a half, and dont get me wrong i love her too but think were both too young to be saying that we should get married. we were living together for a few months before i needed "my space", and broke up with for like a week, now were on the same path again of her calling me literally every 10 minutes, texting me, and just being ridiculous with it. i like the attention but sometimes it can be overbearing.
anyways my father wants me to move to arizona with him and go to college out there,i told my 18 year old girlfriend that and she went crazy. i dont want to live my life with regret, in her defense there are plenty of colleges in ohio that i could go to so everyone i asked told me to move out there, but i dont want to lose her, im scared that i will never find another love like hers again. so how do i weigh love against college and this once in a lifetime experience

Answer 1

Dude,

you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't go "away" to college. If she's really "the one" then the love will last. At twenty, you need to go out and do some expiramenting to see what life is all about. You've been couped up in Ohio in your little world. Go see what's around. I'm 37 and I don't know of one friend that married their high school sweetie. Im not trying to be a dork, just telling you the facts. I lived in suburban chicago, and a couple years after college moved to Phoenix. IT IS AWESOME HERE.....Do you like baseball???? We got spring Training. Do you Golf??? we got tons of that Do you like really hot coeds. ASU is always voted one of the biggest party schools with the hottest chicks. You're only a day's trip from california and the ocean too. If this girl really is the one, she would a) understand that you need to get out of you little state and explore the world and b) be supportive of that.........Here's what happened to me when I went to college. I had a girlfriend who was younger than me. I went to college. She wound up with another dude at our high school. Who's to say that you don't go to like Akron U. you're their and in your first semester she calls and says she's too lonely and she's dumping you.......Then you're A)out a girlfriend and B) stuck in Ohio in the middle of december (25 degrees F) when you could be in AZ in December (70 degrees farenheit) If you don't go out and explore while you're young, before you know it you'll be married with kids and kicking yourself in the nuts for not going out and exploring.......................trustme...............AGAIN NONE OF MY FRIENDS -----NONE------------WOUND UP WITH THEIR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. It could happen, I guess, but it's very doubtful

Answer 2

Well, college is very important. I am kind of missing one thing in what you write: where is the best school for you? If it's in Ohio and not Arizona, then you need to stay in Ohio definitely. If the best school really is in Arizona, then you can, for example, think about arranging for her to go out there to college with you (she is old enough, after all...).

As far as your being too young to get engaged, well, I'd quibble with that. You guys are awfully close, you've even lived together - that tends to mean you have a relationship which should not be broken up, for moral reasons. Sure, you need to come up with a solution that gives you the space you need, but without busting the relationship apart.

All that having been said, I wouldn't stay with her out of fear that you won't find anyone else. And if you think about it, that isn't a great reason to be in a relationship. Love is where it's at. And it appears you already know that :>

My two cents.

Answer 3

If it's truly love, it will still be truly love when you graduate. That sounds like something we "old" people say, but it is the truth. Nothing; not distance, not time, not circumstances will destroy true love.

Calling you and texting you every 10 minutes is far closer to stalking than it is to love. It sounds like this young lady has serious dependency issues. Going "crazy" when you told her you had a wonderful opportunity doesn't sound like she has your best interests at heart, either; and, if you love someone, you always have their best interests at heart.

What are her plans for the future? She's 18, you said, so she should be about ready for college, right? What are her life goals? Or are her life goals completely hinged on YOUR life goals? If so, run!

If you have an opportunity to move from Ohio to Arizona, to live with your Dad and go to college out there, then you should do it. It's a whole different part of the country; you will meet people who have completely different attitudes toward life; there is a large Native American population in Arizona and there is much to be learned from that community (IF you are respectful toward that community and wait to be invited in); Depending upon where in Arizona you are, you're close to New Mexico or California, both places of great interest and beauty. You're also not that far away from Mexico, a beautiful country to visit.

At 20 years old, you are too young to stop your life based on the selfish demands of another. Ask yourself this: would you stop her from a wonderful opportunity or would you be supportive of it? Would you want her to miss something she might always regret missing?

If everyone you've asked has told you to move, it might be best if you listened to them. You will find love and it will probably be a healthier love. There is no reason on this earth for one partner to call another every 10 minutes other than to check up on what they are doing. She may be saying "I'm calling you to tell you that i love you," which is a nice thing if done once a day or something ... but, as the mother of a 27 y/o son, i'm telling you that the every 10 minutes calls are to check up on you, determine where you are, listen to what's in the background, etc. and the "i love you" and "i'm thinking about you" or whatever it is she's saying is nothing but a ruse on her part.

If your parents think it's a great opportunity for you; if your friends think it's a great opportunity for you; if complete strangers on this board think it's a great opportunity for you, then it's a great opportunity.

How many have you talked to about this (other than her) who have told you to stay?

I think she's gotten inside your head, more so than in your heart, and she knows exactly which strings to pull to make you suffer guilt. Please don't fall into that trap at such a young age.

Answer 4

If you really do love this girl, maybe try to find a good college that suits you closer to home. In all honesty, a college is a college. It is designed to give you a quality education. Whether you go to one in Arizona or Ohio makes not a whole lot of difference, because I am sure whatever you are majoring in there are good programs offered at multiple colleges and/or universities in both states. Really the only big differences are the sports teams, type of campus, partying, etc.

Answer 5

Go out to Arizona for college. Keep the relationship with your girlfriend by phone, email, etc. If she loves you as much as she says, she will love you still while you go out there to get an education so you can get a career that will support the 2 of you when you do feel ready to get married.

Answer 6

College should be your first priority. Now, I don't know why you need to go to AZ.? In Ohio there are several great Universities/colleges. Get her to go with you? pay half of the rent or something. But make sure you go to college

Answer 7

a marriage could desire to be geared up on a sturdy beginning for it to artwork..not trusting him is a huge purple flag! This guy does not recognize you or the marriage. ask your self this: Why do i admire him? what's it approximately him that makes me experience happy and defend? Does he instruct me attention?...You deserve extra useful than him. I hate to declare divorce, yet i don't see any different way out of this one..take a seat and consult with him gently...he will possibly get all puffed up with anger and be protecting, yet in basic terms stand your floor and save your cool..tell him the way you experience...that's what i did ith my ex..He grew to become into all protecting..I informed him how i felt, have been given my funds so as and left..It grew to become into the terrific factor i ever did..I went returned to college and that i've got been given my existence returned! pass on, end your college and start up over returned with a clean new outlook on existence..

Answer 8

its all up to u, can u imagine ur life without her all the way in arizona? i understand that college is important, but love is something u cant live without. if u love her as much as she loves u, id say stay with her, or have her move to arizona with u. it all depends on what u feel for her. good luck =)

Answer 9

like the first answer, at least I read the half of the story, and I think : GO TO THE COLLEGE! I have the same opinion like the first person who has answered this question.

Answer 10

O.K. I didn't even have to read this long *** story...all I did was read the caption.....GO TO COLLEGE!! Love fades....you don't want your paycheck to fade too! You'll find someone else guaranteed on that...and if you don't want to find someone else then the person you love right now should understand your education is more important...for both of your futures.