I dated my boyfriend for 1 yr and a half. Now I broke up with him, because he is having problems with his parents accepting us due to religious reasons. However, over the course of the relationship, I did everything for him, included borrowing him about $4000 over time in his bills. He said he will pay this back, and he does little by little, but just not enough. He paid me $140 only in July. I feel like I have to talk to him, to get the money, and it is his way of holding on, by me having to call him to ask for the money. Does anyone know a clever way to collect the money without having to talk to him, or maybe even a legal way that is not dirty.
2006-08-07 11:55:00 · 22 answers · asked by Tracy L 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
IF you have proof of the money you gave him & that you expected to be paid back you can take him to small claims court.
2006-08-07 11:57:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither a Borrow nor a lender be.
You have several options. You can take him to small claims court. If you have a copy of his last payment or can prove to you that he owes you the money, then it should be a slam dunk, even if he denies it. However, just because he has a judgement against him doesn't mean that he will step up his payments. It's very hard to enforce civil judgements against individuals if they decide to ignore them.
Another option would be to draw up some sort of 'contract'. Say how much you expect per month, per quarter, per 6 months, or per year. Make two copies and both of you will sign them and you can hold onto one in case he decides to stop paying you. Make it workable for him. I mean, if he only makes $1000 a month, asking him to pay $500 a month is not reasonable. $100 a month would be a little closer to fair.
Good luck to you in this. : )
2006-08-07 14:01:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear your relationship didn't work. If the guy is clinging to you this way, talk to his parents. Just be civil, even if they don't like you, and give them the honest situation (including how their son is reacting). He may end up using more threatening stalking measures.
If that doesn't work, get legal help. Collect all bills proving that you loaned the money, and show it to a lawyer. It's the best, most painless way to go.
Last suggestion would be to go to him and ask him for the money because you need to make a payment. Let him know how badly this is hurting you, and that you need to part ways. Take a friend for support,
Hope that helps.
2006-08-07 12:01:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have it in writing try and get it. Especially if all loaning and paying back has been in cash. Next time you are together whip out something you already typed up with the amount still owed and maybe a date when it will be paid back. (be reasonable). Once he signs it, if he sometime down the line stops paying, at least you know you can get a judgment in small claims court.
2006-08-07 12:02:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOu both have to be able to provide a burden of proof in court and he needs to be able to disprove you. Chances are if you are standing in court and the judge asks him if he owes you the money, he will say yes. However, he may just say "NO". If that's the case, then the judge won't issue a court order for reimbursement unless you can document the money exchange somehow (Which it doesn't sound like you can do).
Honestly, Let it go. Just learn from it as an expensive life lesson and tell him "the money's not that important to me, I would pay ten times that much to have you out of my life."
2006-08-07 12:01:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless it is in writing there is nothing legally you can do. One thing which needs to be considered is that if he needed to borrow that much money to pay his bills he probably wont have a lot of extra money to pay you back anyway. Also, if he knows your financial situation and its comfortable he might not be as concerned about it. There are quite a few variables that need to be known to help you make a decision. I would just tell him I needed it and make up something important so maybe he would try to pay you faster.
2006-08-07 12:12:04 · answer #6 · answered by drunkbomber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You already have some good legal advice...but here is another possibility...since the parents don't "approve" of the relationship, call them and tell them you need to resolve this matter so he doesn't have to see you any more. They might cough up "Get Lost" money! It's worth a shot.
2006-08-07 12:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by riverhawthorne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just write it off as a lesson learned. Keep trying to get what he'll give you, but don't let it keep you up at night. If you want to help people financially, work hard so that you can give to them, no strings attached. Loaning money between friends and family causes so many problems!
2006-08-07 12:25:36 · answer #8 · answered by Sarah W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go legal. He'll eventually stop paying you. You also need to be given enough to cover any interest you're paying on a loan or base rate on what you could be earning on that money.
2006-08-07 11:58:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did not know this until recently but a friend of mine went to a public library and saw an attorney for a traffic ticket, he was very help-full. Call your main library to see if they have one available for advice or file a small claims action against him.
If you file a small claim be sure you have valid receipts.
2006-08-07 14:43:02 · answer #10 · answered by Curly Q 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋