My mom called me at work to tell me the news....and then a couple of days later, I got an email from my friend about the engagement. The same email she sent to everyone on her contact list. How friggin impersonal is that. I'm taking it pretty hard. We always told each other we would be each others maid of honour when the time came. I heard she set her wedding day for July 07 ( which my mom told me ).
Do you think I should call her and find out what is going on? I seriously doubt I will be in her wedding party at all by now.
I've resolved to just wait for my invite which I'm thinking of declining. She's probably more concerned about how much the cheque is in my envelope rather than if I show up or not.
2006-08-07 11:16:12 · 21 answers · asked by scarlett4_u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I should also add, that she got engaged last Christmas....
2006-08-09 14:49:21 · update #1
My friend got mad at me because I did not tell her I had eloped. I tried to tell her but due to her having had surgery I was unable to get her alone and tell her the news. We were not telling everyone because we were going to have the church wedding in a year. But she got mad at me and it took someone else to point out that I had tried to talk with her, but was unable to get her alone to do so. Talk with your friend and let her know that you are hurt that she had not told you herself and that you had to hear it through the grapevine. You might be surprised why it happened.
2006-08-14 17:20:57 · answer #1 · answered by mom of girls 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As someone who recently got married, getting engaged, telling people, and early planning is all very overwhelming. I'm not saying that's an excuse for your friend not to have called you, but it is a reason for you to cut her some slack, especially if she is your best friend. Looking back at my engagement, I didn't know who to tell first and I worried about people getting their feelings hurt if someone found out before someone else. I got engaged in early December but waited until Christmas to tell my best friend because I wanted to tell her in person (granted, I didn't tell anyone else other than family before then because I wanted her to know first).
I think you should give her a call to say Congratulations and find out what's going on with the wedding plans. At that point, you should be able to get an idea of who's in the wedding. I honestly didn't have my bridal party chosen immediately after I got engaged, so maybe she hasn't either.
She's most likely just gotten into the excitement of it all and hasn't had time to step back to realize that how she told you (or rather, didn't) hurt you.
If you aren't in the wedding party, don't decline your invitation. You not going will just make things that much more difficult for both of you in the long run and you will regret not going. You said she's your best friend. The way she did things might not have been the best, but if you want to continue your friendship with her, you need to be mature about how you handle things from this point on.
2006-08-07 12:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by tn80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez... she's your best friend... you should be happy for her!
Stop overreacting. She's probably excited & has been busy with her fiance & family. That doesn't mean she hasn't thought of you.
Try not to take it personal, and don't be spiteful!!! If you don't go to her wedding it will be you & her both who suffer. Why don't you call her instead... congratulate her and ask her if she needs help planning the wedding or dress shopping. Call HER mom & start planning a bridal shower. She is going to be busy and possibly overwhelmed with wedding plans over the next 11 months. Unless you are involved with the wedding, you probably aren't going to see that much of her. Once she is married, you really won't see her. Might as well take advantage of your last chance to get some good "girl time" in. Don't you want to be a part of the happiest day of your best friend's life?
2006-08-07 11:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by .·:*RENE*:·. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey, hellooooooooo, you said she was your best friend. Was, is the operative word in this whole thing. It appears as though you were not her best Friend and not to mention you got this info from your mom. Yeah,it may hurt, due to some kind of agreement made some time ago, but people change and or grow in different direction. you were holding on to a good idea that went bad. wipe your eye, clean your nose and breathe some air, because it all stinks and there's nothing that can change what has happened. even if she was to come to you and say, "I forgot about our agreement." Would that make you feel any better, not to mention, the thought of knowing that you were forgotten. yes it hurts, and you'll always have that sad feeling if you let it eat at you. be happy for her, accept her decision and move forward. You can still have her in your wedding. if you fight it, you'll lose. if you move on, with a positive mind, you strengthen yourself emotionally and spiritually. You can still buy a bottle of wine and save it, just for old times, the next time you and her have a girls night out.
2006-08-07 12:09:12 · answer #4 · answered by WOODSAK 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she has a lot going on, and maybe just did not think the way you are thinking.
If you are not selected as the maid of honor don't worry about it.
Go to the wedding, and reception with a date. Let her know you have a life as well, and are not petty, which is what you seem to be projecting.
Believe me you'll have a good time. You will not be tied up in tons of photos, preparations, or have to pick up the tab on your dress, shoes, and accessories that she picks out of which you will never be able to sell.
I was a little pretrurbed when my sister did not chose me as the maid of honor, however when I got to the wedding the maid of honor was a one-ton-tomato, and I was in a size 6. GO FIGURE!
2006-08-07 11:51:54 · answer #5 · answered by Credit Expert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know it's possible that she is avoiding you because you had made a deal to be each others maid of honor when you were just dreaming about your weddings.
Now when it is really happening maybe she feels that she should include her sister in that special spot or a mutual friend of her and her husband-to-be.
She might just be afraid to face you because she knows this is going to hurt you. I don't blame you for feeling hurt, but I agree with the others that you should call and congratulate her and then you can casually ask who her attendants will be and if this is the case, then I hope you will understand and give her a break so you don't lose a friend.
2006-08-15 00:32:19 · answer #6 · answered by Azriel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not wish you to be jealous. Perhaps also she thinks it inappropriate for some reason. Since you are close friends, she perhaps thought you already knew.. or.. you know, when the engagement doesn't work out in the end.. it'll not be good. She'll tell you officially when things are fixed, that's what I think. Maybe she doesn't feel the need to tell a close friend, the way you see your family often but don't tell them anything.
2016-03-27 02:49:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She could have called you and she didn't. Email a congratulations back. If she doesn't invite you to be in the wedding party, send a check or a gift and don't go. You can be just as impersonal as she is.
You don't need to put up with that type of treatment. She can't be that busy.
2006-08-13 05:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Generally people take about a month to celebrate the engagement before they start worrying about who will be in their wedding party. Besides, if she always said you were going to be her maid of honor, maybe she isn't worrying about it because she already knows you'll be there for her.
Why aren't you happy for her? What is hardening your heart to her wedding? Friends are supposed to care for each other but you sound more worried about yourself than being happy for her. Do you know how many people have to be told? Maybe she is waiting for you to call her to congradulate her. Take it from there. You've already decided she's not going to ask you to be in the wedding party and that you may not even go before you talk to her. That is not fair to her, give her the chance to ask you. I hope you don't lose your friendship over this because it would be a pity.
2006-08-07 13:29:47 · answer #9 · answered by Sara B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but if she is "supposed" to be your best friend and I use that word supposed because sometimes we get the idea someone is our best friends and you are more considerate with their feelings than they are with yours. If she is your best friend she should've called you 1st (after telling family of-course) that is very carbon copy to do it in an e-mail with everyone else. I would call her and tell her congratulations but you were sorry that you had to hear the news second hand and got the news from her in mass e-mail with everyone considering that ya'll are supposed to be best friends. See what kind of answer she gives and then you can decide if she really is your friend or if she just got caught up in the moment and wanted to e-mail everyone at once because she was so excited.
2006-08-07 12:23:21 · answer #10 · answered by ♫piano_player♫ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be the adult and talk to her. Maybe her head's so high in the clouds right now from all the excitement she didn't think the email was impersonal. She can't read your mind. If you're a real best friend you'd tell her how you felt and not keep it bottled up inside.
2006-08-07 11:34:43 · answer #11 · answered by mergirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋