when my husband left me, I started partying all the time. I met someone who I really care for and am in love with. But I am no longer happy with who I am. I sit in the house all day, eat, watch TV and sleep. I don't even work anymore. I use to be a dancer. He did not like that I was away from home all night. I have gained a few pounds, lost my tan and party friends. I cry all the time because I feel there should be more to life. I am scared to leave and be alone again. I have no where else to move to now as I am without a job or money. How do I find happiness while feeling so lost and insecure?
2006-08-07 11:06:02 · 36 answers · asked by jlmcpherson2001 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When your husband left you, he took your security with him. You are now faced with the task of regaining your self esteem, and taking care of yourself. Though it will be hard work, it CAN be done. You are allowed to cry and feel bad. However, at some point, you will simply have to say "enough is enough" and realize that the tears and sorrow will not fix the problem, nor pay the bills. Pick yourself up, dust off the remnants from the past, and get back in to life. Start by taking better care of yourself, and get back in to shape. Live a healthy lifestyle. Get a job, and be productive again. You are worth it, and need to remember that. When you begin to heal, you will start to feel better, and you will realize how silly this all really is. When you feel better about yourself, this light will shine from within, and you'll attract people to you. Keep your chin up, and take good care of yourself. You've still got your whole life ahead of you.
2006-08-07 11:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I suggest you set goals for yourself, find out what you want to do in life(as far as an career goes) and go for it. It will take some time but you can eventually do it if you have your heart set on it. Start with small goals first, get a part time job and then maybe go back to school and pursue a career of your choice. Once you have a stable, reliable job then MOVE ON!!! As long as he's not beating you are treating you badly I would stick around and see what your relationship can be. Further more TALK TO HIM, let him know what you are feeling and see if he has any suggestions as to how to better the situation. Good Luck.
2006-08-07 11:15:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When your husband left you, you started partying to avoid the hurt. Is it possible that now things have started to settle down you are finally starting to grieve?
Sitting at home and sleeping all the time sounds like depression. Don't let it go on for too long or if you've become disinterested in things you used to love doing. You're going through a tough time and it might be a good idea to see a counselor who can help you through it.
Good luck to you
2006-08-07 11:21:07 · answer #3 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to have me time. Like that Heather Huntly song. Get back in touch with yourself and your needs. You need to make yourself happy before you can ever make anyone else happy. I am not saying get out of your current relationship or even take a break but the alone time you have do some self reflection. When you were parting it was to keep your mind off of what happened I know because I was like that and I had to find my true passions and now I feel alot better best of luck hope you work it out.
2006-08-07 11:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Tiff C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were partying so much to escape the fact that your husband left you. You perhaps felt partying with friends can ease your sadness. Inside you needed closure as to why he left you. Partying cannot ease ones sorrow nor can it solve anything. Happiness happens when you let yourself go of all the hurt and sadness you feel or have felt. You must let your heart go and let happiness in! Get out there and meet new friends, that will comfort you in your time of needs. embrace your family they love you. Do not doubt yourself! When you are down. you must rise up and be strong don't lose hope and don't give in to self pity. I hope this helps. Good Luck! :)
2006-08-07 11:18:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sir Lance of Daan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are trying to be someone you're not for the person who you are now with.
If he loved & trusted you he would deal with you being a dancer. That is obviously a big part of who you are.
You've been with your husband for a while & quite often your identity is closely linked to that relationship.
You havent given yourself time to be single & work out who you really are & what you want foryourself, let alone from a new relationship
2006-08-07 11:16:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Becarefull i know the feeling been there it could last along time if you dont attack it right away
depression can become a physical thing and god its hard to over come the longer the worst
i suggest you read about it dont take cracker jack box advice
get real help when tramatic expierience happen your body reacts
depresion is just has physical as it is emotional
your brain stops producing certain chemeicals
your nuero transmitters slow
your metabolism changes
you could be in a rut for years......stop it now!!!!
get help .......
god bless you good luck
2006-08-07 11:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by luv_uDana 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is how I'm feeling right now (I wasn't married) but like my life is a mess and there's a huge road block telling me I can't go further. I'm so depressed, but I suppose until I die (physically) I must pull myself up by the boot straps and go on. It's hard to do, but I figured I would have died by now since I didn't have a steady job for three years and only worked for temp services. I suppose God has mercy on some fools too. Take care and good luck.
2006-08-07 11:12:12 · answer #8 · answered by Barbie doll lover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will crying over lost matters get him back to you?I know u want it but so what?I may want you, so will i get u?You know what i mean.Its easier to replace people in lives than, accept that we are lonely and we have to live with it.Before we know that our relations matter a lot to us we should make it sure that the other party deserves all the fedility we are about to offer.Some people just dont understand and we cant help.Just move on try to find someone,be used use someone just try to be out of this thinking jargon.Last thought:Do you think all the years of your life are worth wasting on someone?
2006-08-07 11:18:19 · answer #9 · answered by Tom Cruise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you dependent on someone else to bring you happiness? If you are depressed with your life, change it. Take time to yourself... maturing & becoming the person you want to be. Once you are happy with yourself, you will be able to share a meaningful relationship with someone equally as secure & happy.
There is no better time to start than RIGHT NOW! Get off the computer... go for a walk... you'll be getting fresh air, clearing your head, and excersizing. It's a start... trust me, you'll feel better.
2006-08-07 11:15:01 · answer #10 · answered by .·:*RENE*:·. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋