did i do the right thing?

Question

I work at a market. I am white female. This black guy came to my lane and asked me bunches of questions like am i married or seeing someone. I told him no. Then he asked for my number. I said no. Then he goes is it because i am black. I told him I just wasn't ready for relationship since i just got out of a 3 year relationship last year. so did i do the right thing or should i have handled it differently?

Answer 1

I think you handled it well. You are not the one referring to race...he was!

Answer 2

Sure you did. If I were black, I'd probably tell you the same exact thing.

You did the right thing.

Just because somebody is black doesn't give them a blank check to being forward or getting personal specially when they know it.

Or, anyone white.

Or anybody with an eye in the middle of his forehead.

Or if it's a she!

Respect for others is still a stand alone constant. You were pretty tolerant and a little too forbearing. This guy sounded like an opportunist, manipulative, and out and out wierd.

( I found out that's how you spell it. Wierd; " ' I ' before ' e ' except after ' c ', and sometimes y. " How come I can't remember high school algebra? Except the D's and F's?! )

What you want to do is explain the occurrence/incident

( concisely, succinctly, very dispassionately, unemotionally, leaving out no detail of importance, including a description )
to an immediate supervisor.

It'd be poetic justice if the person ( the supervisor ) were,in
fact, black.

What you want to look out for is a lot of times you have very good, quick shuffle artists. The approach is usually a high volume traffic, at peak hours, like where you work.

You're handed a large bill, with a precedent platform of familiarity, like what you describe, then ask for change of something else.

Then, hand you something again! All in rapid succession, then the next thing you know, he took you for fifty or a hundred dollars, leaving the purchase item in your lane. I've seen this before.

You shouldn't handle it differently. You did the right thing, but not well enough, with a possible, attendant need of a follow up treatment. Trust me, black people will tell you the same thing. They go through the same things everybody else does.

Answer 3

You were more than polite enough. First, no stranger has the right to ask you such personal questions. Then to insist on a reason for you not wanting to give out your number is just disgusting. You definitely made the right choice by not giving him your number. Your past relationships are absolutely none of his business.

Next time, when someone starts asking questions like, "are you married," or, "are you seeing anyone," if you don't want him to ask you out, tell him flat out that you don't share such personal information with strangers. Or just lie and say that you are in a relationship if you think that might make them go away more quickly.

It really doesn't matter WHY you didn't want to give him your number. If he were any sort of man, he would have accepted your answer and walked away. Trying to guilt a woman into giving out her phone number is sheer pig.

Answer 4

While I think you did the right thing, you probably could have been a little more sensitive to his question. If he was asking personal questions and you were answering him, it kind of led him on. If you weren't interested in him, whatever the reason, you should have simply declined to answer his personal questions. I would suggest in the future if you don't want to give out your number, or be asked these types of questions, simply smile and say I'm sorry, the store has a policy about fraternization. This stops him cold and doesn't make you the bad guy.

Answer 5

I really don't like lying but, some guys just don't know when to quit. Right off the bat, you knew where this guy was going when he asked you if you were married, so why did you continue the conversation?

Black, orange, white, red.....if you're not interested, then lie!!!!! Tell him you have a boyfriend...or whatever........

Answer 6

I think you handled it beautifully.
You needtn't have had to justify your reason for not giving your number to him. The same word you used for the other questions would have sufficed for that question, as well.
But it sounds like you were polite, so good job.

I'm not sure I could have had the grace to not say something about people using race as an excuse for things, but who knows.

Answer 7

No, you handled it just fine. I have been asked the same thing when refused advances by a black person. It's odd that they think the reason for the refusal is racial rather than personal.

Answer 8

I think you did pretty well. I would have told him from the start all this info was none of his business. Then I would have told him I'm not into guys who try to pick up chicks in the checkout line!

Silly boys. Just accept rejection like a man!

Answer 9

if it's because you just got out of a three year relationship and weren't ready yeah you did the right thing. If it was because he was black and you aren't into black guys yeah you did the right thing.

Answer 10

Perfect

Answer 11

I would've been nice to him and done just about the same thing. You weren't trying to be mean or anything. I wouldn't be hard on yourself. Some people take rejection personally. You weren't being racist or anything.

Take a deep breath. You handled it just fine.