During the school year this creppy guy talked to me a lot and I knew that he liked me. Over the summer he sent me a letter confessing his love for me. I have no feelings for him what-so-ever and don't want to be friends. He told me to respond to his letter. What do I do? If I don't say anything when I go back to school he may confront me and if I do respond what do I say to him? How can I be frank but not mean and not saying things I don't believe. For example" Let's just be friends" When I don't want to be anything with him!
What should I do?
2006-08-07 09:52:02 · 31 answers · asked by Britt 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honesty works best. Not brutal honesty though. Try to be as nice as you can to him, but make it very clear that you're not interested in him. I think you have the right idea with the "Lets just be friends" thing, even if you don't want to be friends. It's a good step down from being boyfriend/girlfriend like he wants. Maybe after you break that to him he'll get the hint that friendship between you two isn't exactly working out either. If not, let him know you don't want that either. If I were you I would respond to his letter. If you don't he'll look at it as "She hasn't said no." and you don't need that going into the new year. Be as nice as you can, but be very candid and blunt. It's going to hurt him. No way around that. Just don't hurt him anymore than you have to.
2006-08-07 09:56:47 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Since you can't ignore his letter, I suggest responding to the letter. In your letter tell him that you just aren't attracted to him and aren't interested in starting any kind of relationship--romantic or otherwise.
Yes, this will hurt him but there's nothing else you can really do to prevent this from happening unless you choose to date him, which wouldn't be a good idea...All you can really do is minimize his pain.
The good news is that if you send him your response in a letter during the summer, he'll at least have a chance to emotionally heal before going back to school. In other words, you'll spare him the extreme embarrasment he would experience if you were to confront him at school. Don't worry, he'll get over you. All he needs is time.
Good luck!
2006-08-07 10:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by Natasha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and respond to his letter..
Brian,
. Please don't contact me again.
. I am flattered that you want to be friends with me, but I don't feel that way about you. Do not contact me ever again.
Thanks, Britt
Don't use "Dear", don't sign it "love" or "sincerely"- NOTHING that could be construed as a possible come-on. Be absolutely blunt. Guys can be kinda dense when it comes to things like this, and if he's really obsessed with you, it will take you being COMPLETELY OBVIOUS for him to understand that you are serious.
If he still ends up confronting you or following you around at school, tell him that you'd rather have your wisdom teeth pulled, without anesthesia.
I had a guy hanging around me once in high school. (Yeah, his name was Brian) I heard through the grapevine that he was calling me his girlfriend.. UGH!! Anyway, he started using vulgarity when talking about my friends one time when he called me. I told him to stop bad-mouthing my friends or I'd hang up. He apologized, but slipped about 5 minutes later. I hung up immediately! (I can't believe I was on the phone with him in the first place!)... The next day at school, he asked me why I'd hung up, I told him, using exact wording from the night before, told him real friends wouldn't use those kinds of words, etc.
Eventually, one day when he asked me to another lame church-sponsored dance, I told him I'd rather have my wisdom teeth pulled and walked right past him...
Looking back, that incident reminds me of the scene in Office Space, when the boss is asking Peter to come in for work Saturday, and Peter completely ignores the guy and walks right around him... BURN!!
2006-08-09 18:17:03 · answer #3 · answered by Yoda's Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a stalker. It seems like he should have gotten the hint by now. If you give him any attention at all, even to just turn him down, he might use that chance to persuade you more, because he'll think he has a chance. So just ignoring him is best. If things continue and he gets more aggressive and violent, alert your parents, school officials, etc.
2006-08-07 09:59:08 · answer #4 · answered by cassicad75 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DON'T IGNORE HIM!!
Talk to him and let him know the you are not attracted in him. Tell him he is a nice guy, but you don't want to be involved with anybody. Also tell him your are going through some things and you don't want to get him involved in it through friendship because it's a problem you need to take care of on your own. He should understand that if he's a nice guy.
2006-08-07 09:57:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him it is nice for him to be honest with you, but you just don't feel the same way. Maybe you could tell him he was a bit to forward and that sort of worries you he is not sincere. But sincere or not your sorry but you just don't have any intrest in having a relasionship with him. It is not mean to be honest. Just don't say "you creep me out, or I just want to be friends" If he does freak out on you though do not hesitate to tell teacher, Principle, or Big Guy Friend!
2006-08-07 10:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by sammyw1024 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore the letter. He'll never know if you got it or not.
If he confronts you, just tell him the truth. You don't think it would work on any level with you and him (I'lm sure you can find a nicer way to put it though)
2006-08-07 09:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by Peter M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you'd like to be friends but you're going to be so busy this year with school stuff and family things that you're not going to have time to become his friend, because you believe friendship takes time and work. If he says he can "help" you just say that you're independent and don't need help from anyone.
2006-08-07 09:56:44 · answer #8 · answered by MakeBelieve. All you want. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lie to him. One leads to more and sooner or later, you gt caught at it. Just be honest and open. Not only with him, but with yourself. Why not be friends with him? It doesn't mean you have to return his feelings or that you have to hang with him all the time. Expain to him that you feel different than he does and that you have only casual friendship to offer. Say hello to him when you pass him from time to time. It won't hurt you and could help him. More often than not, the "creepy guy" is more appropriately labelled the "misunderstood guy" simply because folks don't take time to get to know him.
2006-08-07 10:00:09 · answer #9 · answered by Jim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't write him a letter back. IF he confronts you in school, tell him that he makes you very uncomfortable (which is obviously the truth) and that you would like for him to stay away.
If he doesn't, then report it to an adult at your school.
2006-08-07 09:55:09 · answer #10 · answered by pooh8402 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋