My 17yr old daughter is dating a boy who's year and a half younger than her who's a complete loser. He has no motivation, no social skills to speak of. My husband & I have tried just about everything short of forbiding her to see him to convince her that she can do better. She's tall, has long red hair,and unlike many redheads she tans. She's very very pretty. So we see why he wants to be with her-she's pretty, drives (has a truck). We've told her that she deserves better and when asked she can't give us an answer as to why she's with him. I would love any input on how to convince her to dump him and move on.
2006-08-07 09:42:46 · 19 answers · asked by Laurie L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You do realize that the more you push her to dump him, the more likely she will be to rebel and do the complete opposite of what you want. She will realize on her own his immaturity, lack of ambition, etc. and end the relationship... he is only 15 1/2 and she is only 17... she will not be marrying this boy. Give it the time it needs to faze itself out. I know that this is hard to do, but it should work.
2006-08-07 09:46:16 · answer #1 · answered by jtj 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
As a 17 year old myself I would not be too happy if my parents were forbidding me to see my boyfriend and it would probably drive me away from breaking up with him. Plus, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Have you tried having a nice talk with her and just pointing out the things you disapprove of that he does. My parents always were telling me to get rid of guys and never approached me nicely, if they would have discussed things with me and helped me to realize things it may have been a little different. Maybe the two of you could even come to an understanding about him. If you could have a nice talk then your daughter just might open up to you and tell you what she sees in this boy.
2006-08-07 09:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by Kristen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite him to join the family. Tell them they need to get married and start talking about how you all could live in the same house and how many kids they should have. And if you let him hang out at you house a lot she will see all of the stupid things he is really capable of. I'm 22 and i remember having BF's that my parents didn't like. The more they said about how bad he was the more I wanted to be with him. If all else fails. You said she's smart. So she WILL figure it out eventually.
2006-08-07 09:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by laneybugbaby 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gonna tell you what my parents did to me when they wanted me to dump some retard boyfriend i was so whooped over. My dad and mom hated him but they decided to do some reverse crap, by telling me to take him to the house and other family stuff. my parents made sure of taking us to places where there were other guys more my age and cuter and much more interesting. But they pretended to like him and stuff but i could still tell they were being fake. everything my parents told me about him was true, he was a f***** loser, treated me like c**p and messed up on me. That's when I realized how much better I was and took my families advise, and got rid of him.
All I can say is don't give her your back completely cuz it'll only push her away from both you and your husband and she'll end up leaving and hating you stick with her and she'll realize it sooner or later and like me she'll say "i can't believe my parents were right"!
Good luck!!!!!!!!
2006-08-07 09:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by It's Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was just like your daughter. The more my mother pushed the more I was convinced I loved him.
Tell her how you feel but tell her she can make her own decision. Be honest about your observations of him without totally trashing him.
Once you give her the green light she will get sick of him in time.
My mother was so violently opposed I got pregnant and then married.
Be careful
2006-08-07 09:52:00 · answer #5 · answered by shorty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her find out on her own how messed up the current boyfriend is ...the more you try to convince her that he's no good for her, the more you push her closer to him. If he's as bad as you say his true character will rear it's ugly head eventually!
2006-08-07 09:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by duane b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. And the more you try, the more you will piss her off. Just try to accept it for now, and try not to say "I told you so" when it's all over. It will be over, don't worry. Dating stupid boys (or skanky girls for boys) is a phase every good kid goes through to assert their independance over their parents. It's like she's telling you she can make her own choices and there is nothing you can do about it. Accept that, and she will be pleasantly surprised by you, come to her senses, and that will strengthen your bond!
2006-08-07 09:48:31 · answer #7 · answered by mcnees79 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe instead of forbiding her to see him, make him come over to the house and spend time with "the Parents" if he is serious about her he will do it, and maybe you will realize that hes not that bad. The more you push the more she will run for him.
2006-08-07 09:48:22 · answer #8 · answered by i love my sexy hubby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to believe that everything you taught her she will fall back on. Let her have her fun, she is not marrying the guy. She is going to have plenty of guys that she dates that you will not approve of. It is her life, she is going to choose who is best for her not you! Don't forget, the more you push her the more she is going to defy you and stay with him!
2006-08-07 09:49:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all... your 17 year old should be home... and not going around with a boyfriend.. she is a minor.. and should enjoy her youth.. and deal with a relationship when she's older and can handle the ups and downs...
2006-08-07 09:47:38 · answer #10 · answered by Lyne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋