Why are there so many stupid young mothers? Why can’t these mothers be responsible?

Question

On myspace I have found tons of my friends younger siblings. A lot have one or more children.

They are 20-23 years old. Most of them are unmarried or not with the baby’s father anymore.

Most of them say they like to party, drink, do drugs, smoke weed and other crap too.

Even if their children were unplanned, why can they suck it up and deal with their decision to keep their child and BE A MOTHER?

It seems like they feel they are missing out, but that’s what happens when you have unprotected sex!

I and married and plan to become a father soon at 27, and I won’t be partying when my wife has our baby.

Its not okay to ditch your kid with someone else so you can go get drunk!

Why does it seem like there are few young mothers who are actually responsible?

Someone please explain this to me because I don’t think you can be a good mother while doing drugs and partying.

Does anyone else share my opinion?

Answer 1

I am totally in agreeance with you on this. I cannot stand to see this happen even though it happens more than we will over know. I am however a 25 mother of one who I had at 23, and after having him 14 months ago i think I have been out without him maybe 8 times and those werent to drink. I feel that there is nothing more important than being there for and with your child. However, the difference is maturity. When you are mature enough to tell your friends that you arent going out because you have a baby to care for then you can be considered a parent, until then you are just a kid with a kid. Unfortunately the sufferers are the babies, what I try to tell myself over and over is that when these people drop their kids off at the grandparents or whatever the babies are most likely much better off.

Answer 2

I totally understand what you are saying. I am a mother of three, and I can't stand seeing those young mothers just having the good life as well as try to be a parent.
Yes, being a parent is HARD WORK, and it's a full time job. That's why having babies are for ADULTS! Not children! That's why there are so many young mothers out there trying to still party and drink. I was a young mother, and had my first baby at age 19, but I never went out to party, never would drink or smoke. It's hard sometimes, but I know that when I'm older and my kids are grown, I'll still be kinda young, (when my oldest is 20, I'll be 39) and I keep that in mind, that while right now I have to work my *** off, when my kids grow I'll still be young, and I can do my thing then.

Answer 3

I had my first when i wa s16. As soon as I found out i was pregnant I stopped ALL the partying crap. I do agree that people need to suck it up. People make the decision to bring a baby into this world....then it's their responsibility to do the best they can to raise the child. But some girls get pregnant at a young age and don't think about the consiquences and they never think that it could happen to them....until it's too late...and they don't (for somereason) realise that when you party you are effecting your child's life big time. I am 21 now and have 2 kids and haven't partied since then. And no you can't be a good mother while doing drugs. Another thing...if someone has a serious addiction..and they bring a child into this world then they need to seek rehab..or some type of help...and then parenting classes. I know I grew up quick...I knew it was up to me to make sure my kids had the best mom I could be!!!!!!!! SO I do agree with you...I know alot of girls in this situation....their kids aren't with them...they got taken away!!!!

Answer 4

I agree with you. Im 25, I got pregnant when I was 21. I was drinking everynight, and I even drank for a month of my pregnancy because I didnt know I was pregnant. The father of the baby was my bestfriend. When I found out I was pregnant, I stopped drinking and smoking right away. The father and I got married and I did everything I could to ensure a healthy child. I am now a stay at home mom, and I take every advantage of the time I spend with her. My daughter is 3 now and she can count to fifty, recite any song or nursery rhyme you can think of, Is very polite, and is now learning how to read. I guess this may not answer your question, but in my case I knew what was important. I got my priorities in order and have dedicated my life to my child. I know if I can do it any mother can. Mothers need to wake up and realize that the children we are producing today will be running this country tommorow.

Answer 5

I agree with you completely--but you forgot one vital fact--the girl didn't get pregnant on her own. The guy is just as irresponsible if he doesn't stand up to the plate to provide for the girl during her pregnancy and the child after it's born. I'm not saying they have to get married--if the relationship was casual and there was no real feeling between the couple, it could do more damage to the child than if he/she were raised alone. Of course, adoption would be a better alternative if the mother isn't going to grow up.

Remember--one of the two had to convince the other to have sex. I may be old-fashioned, but I think that protection is ultimately the girl's responsibility. If her partner is casual about sex, or uses the old line he can't enjoy himself while wearing a condom, then she needs to think about being with another guy or the consequences of unprotected sex--not just pregnancy, but STDs.

There was an article in my newspaper today that cited a recent study that said today's music seductively encourages young people to have sex at earlier ages. I suppose they hear it as being something romantic, exciting, fun, stimulating, whatever. Of course it can be--in the proper setting and with the right person. It's not just the sex either--drugs and alcohol are given the same glamour treatment. Young people are so busy having a good time they don't care or realize about the effects on their bodies.

Sounds like you're going to be a good dad--you know responsibility for your child's future starts with you. Best wishes on the upcoming birth.

Answer 6

I am a young mother... 21... i have a 3 year old daughter. Once in a while my family will watch my daughter, and I will go to the clubs and drink. That really doesn't mean that I am a bad mother. My mother used to go to the clubs, and she still does, granted that I am older now but she used to even when I was younger. I do take responsibility for my child and myself. I have a good job, my own house that I pay for myself, and my daughter has everything she needs and half of everything she wants. I am not saying that you are wrong because it is an opinion, as you stated. I do understand, however, that a drug user is not a good mother. Just not the drinking part.

Some information from experience.... My doctor used to tell me that it is very important that a mother has time away from the child from time to time... Decreases Depression
Maybe he didn't mean to go to the club, but that is my way of having fun.

So to answer your question.... I can share your opinion half way.

Answer 7

Why do young stupid mothers get all the attention?

I got pregnant by a really sweet, giving, wonderful guy, who was a few years older than me, which was amazing seeing as how EVERYONE knew he had been an accident that left him sterile. Then I got to know him better and realized he was a lying, selfish, drug dealer with a habit of his own.

I was a stupid 18 year old. The day I found out I was having a baby I decided to get ready for my child. I stopped being stupid, started taking care of myself, ditched any and all of my friends who drank too much, used drugs, or didn't get how important it was to be a good parent. When the biological father didn't change I moved on. As far as I know he probably forgot all about me and the baby.

I eventually met a wonderful man, slightly younger than me, who has been a great father to the baby. I take care of my children, they are very smart, very sweet, well raised and we are a happy family.

I was a very stupid girl but I am a terrific mother.

I just hate everyone thinks young, single mothers are all careless, lazy brats. Don't forget, there are plenty of older, married mothers who are messing up their kids.

Answer 8

I am a mother of 2 one that i had unwed at 21 and one that i was and still am married at 26 and one on the way.. I do agree that mothers shouldn't be out all the time or alot leaving their with a babysitter. Although there is nothing wrong with getting out once a month maybe twice a month. Can't say that i get out more then once a year other then for work, and school or when the hubby has them. But i feel that everyone needs a break even if is only for a couple hours.

Answer 9

Just so you know: I'm 20 with 2 kids, engaged to their father, never been on welfare, finished high school, going back (I already have 10 credits) to college next year. About the whole partying thing, I think I've drank twice since having kids. My oldest is 2 1/2. The 2 times I have drank since becoming a mom was at wedding receptions. I didn't have my kids with me because I didn't think it would be appropriate. Plus both weddings were out of state and my girls don't like taking long drives. Anyways, just wanted to let you know there are still SOME responsible young mothers out there.

Answer 10

It really is sheer stupidity to continue doing things that harm you and will harm your child in the long run. Or even in the short run for that matter. It's possible that they were raised the same way however. The maternal instinct is fading dramaticaly in these days and times, and there are so many more things to deal with. These women come up with so many excuses as to why they think they just do not have the ability to care for their children, but it all comes down to their maturity. To them a lot of times its a mistake,and they feel they should not have to 'pay' for that mistake. A child is something that gets in the way of a good time. They really can not see where the potential is. The worst part is that eventually some of them will loose their child because of inability to parent, some will have children that grow up to have major emotional issues, and some will grow up with other problems and be just like the one who raised them. It would be nice to be able to reach at least one mother at a time to encourage them to take responsibility for their child. You never know, there may be a few that see it on their own and change for the better.