I asked a question yesterday asking if women respected a guy more for being direct when it came to meeting random women at the mall. Obviously, I'm single at the moment, so I've been doing my best to get over my shyness again so I can get a date. However, the responses I got were less than inspiring. Almost all of them accused me of being an idiot of some type, with an overall message that it is harassment to try to get dates while they are shopping. That's just as ignorant as saying it's harassment to try to get a date with a girl during school while she's trying to learn.
So let me get this straight, my question about actually going out and trying to get a date instead sitting here doing nothing is a less valid question than asking for the screen names of people I've never seen before in my life?
2006-08-07 09:12:44 · 8 answers · asked by Axel 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
some of the best advice about meeting people I ever received was "Don't go shopping for shoes in a hat store". Meaning, that if you want a certain type of person, look in the kinds of places you might find a person like that. For starters, you want a nice girl, don't pick one up at a strip club, or a bar, you're likely to get a player, or a drinker, which isn't fun for the long haul.
The flip side, is, go find the shoe store. Where can you meet people who like the same things you do, and the answer is, where you do the things you like.
You like dancing? Take some lessons. You like sports? Join a club. You get the picture.
Also, think about the kind of person you want to meet. Is religion important to you? Find a church with lots of young singles. Do you want someone giving? Do some volunteering.
Maybe the problem is you want to meet 'random' women. Nobody really wants to date someone they barely know, and if they do, you have reason to question their IQ. Women, and men, aren't random. They are individuals.
Usually shy people are good people. They lack an understanding that allowing their shyness to get in the way results in keeping them from sharing their gifts with the world, and that is why you were given them. To share.
2006-08-07 09:31:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You moron! No jk jk. I havn't read your past post, but I will after I write something out real quick here. You're asking a complete group of strangers for serious advice. Sometimes you'll get it. Othertimes, you'll get a bunch of monkeys typing things that look a lot like sentences onto the computer. Don't bother asking a question if you won't atleast take into consideration some of the answers you get, but I wouldn't take any of them too much to heart.
Update: Ah'. Not all of them were negative. Just not many that were particularly helpful? Don't get bent out of shape about the girl who called it harassment or the one who said a 'game plan' is lame. Those had to have been the two dumbest answers you got. Most anyone can see that. Except them maybe? So.. in response to this post and the last one: It's cool that you're trying to get over the shyness and all, but it's not all that flattering (to the girls you approach) that you are approaching so many girls. I suppose they don't know that, but if they did they probably wouldn't take kindly to knowing that they are girl number twenty-something. If you've got a certain charm to you then I think your game plan as you described it is just fine. Keep in mind though girls are approached at the mall all the time. You need to have something that makes you stand out. Whether it be as superficial as a good smile and a pretty face or as cheesy as a sincere, but heart warming, compliment. That's really for you, and your two friends lol, to figure out. Good luck on it.
2006-08-07 09:18:19 · answer #2 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just was at your original question and did not see that hardly anyone accused you of being an idiot...you asked a question and most of the ladies admited they are on a mission while shopping..lol..and would not welcome an intrustion at that time...now you asked so they answered and that was honest answers....soooo take the answers and take heed to them...that's all. I still don't think it's a terribly wrong idea...but as I posted on your first question - I think there just might be some better and more productive (for you) ideas. I think poor baby you're just a lil more sensitive and defensive right now cause you ARE just newly single again (so gals take it easy on him already)..lol..
Don't go around asking for screen-names hon- just go out in the big mean world...join a club mingle with single people who will know other single people who belong and go to where single people go to ...and soon and very soon...you'll meet gals again to date...and next year this time you'll be the one answering questions like this for other newly single folks...it's a tough place to be...been there done that....and enjoying life now though...you will too. Rootin' for ya..
2006-08-07 09:37:01 · answer #3 · answered by svmainus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some things in life are tough. I would not go on a date with a man who approached me at a mall. I wouldn't consider it harassment but a total stranger to me out of the blue I could not trust. It is a different situation in school. In that setting you actually get to know that person for you are with them each day in class so they aren't a total stranger. If you want to take a friendship in class to a further level you can ask for a date. That's not harassment either. You can also meet girls in other activities or at church get togethers.
2006-08-07 09:26:27 · answer #4 · answered by Goldenrain 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women practice dismissal, fear, and preoccupation. Also, no one has ever seen the start of a relationship, even with all the couples at the mall (and other public places). Then there is Clean and Safe Teams with plain clothes buddy escorts for women.
2006-08-07 09:19:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you are not an idiot. Yes, it's nice when a guy can just be direct and where you decide to ask a girl out shouldn't matter. If a girl is offended that you've interrupted her shopping time then she isn't worth your time.
2006-08-07 09:22:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want a date from someone at the mall for example, then try to find a way to talk to them. If you think that they are comfortable with talking to you then go ahead and ask them out. But if they kind of look at you weird then you might want to reconsider.
2006-08-07 09:19:20 · answer #7 · answered by Kisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think meetin a girl at the mall is a good way. i mean u dont have to ask her out rite away, js talk to her a little and ask her for her number so u can call later and make plans. asking screen names i think is lame. but thats js my opinion. good luck tho
2006-08-07 09:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by shorty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋