How do your feel better about yourself?

Question

I have always had low self esteem dont think very highly of myself sometimes cant even figure out a reason to live, but i have my girlfreind who loves me but that dont even seem to help iam still always feeling down and not very good about being me i often dream of being someone else and iam 30 please someone help me point me in a direction.

Answer 1

Often times the best way to feel better about ourselves is to help others feel better about themselves. Try volunteering. Whenever life starts getting me down it is probably the easiest way for me to feel better. Well, that or going shoe shopping! But since your a guy I'm guessing shoes probably don't appeal to you. Also, try telling your girlfriend a little bit about your insecurities, I think you may be surprised to see just how supportive she will be. Just remember life never gives us more than we can handle, and no matter how bad things get it is only a matter of time until they start getting better. No one can say how much time, but just try to be patient, and maybe try helping out others along the way. Good luck!

Answer 2

If someone has given you her sincere and sacred love, then already THAT would make me feel better. Besides, you may be over-critcal, perfectionist, too hard and demanding of yourself, etc. And are we talking physically, personality-wise or just overall person? For personality, you can nearly always change it by growing, learning, maturing and all and physically, you can always spruce yourself up somehow or learn to see something- the thing in you- that floats your girlfriend's boat to say in a matter of speaking. It's all about how you see yourself. Have you ever truly taken the time to think about all of yourself? Ever TRIED being reasonable and easy with you? Do it again! Oh, and count your blessings. Really. I'm just about completely sure you'll end up with quite a few- much more than you think! A girlfriend, her love, life, a home, food, at least a modest amount of money, family? Isn't that incredible already, compared to others? I'm not saying you should take pleasure in thinking about others that are lower than you in material and/or such, just sometimes thinking about millions who don't have this or that we you always do can make you have light in your way(s) of thinking.

Well, hope this helped, my very best wishes for you and remember: "If you can't have what you love, you must love what you have." VERY IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER!! :)

Answer 3

I always think that if you help someone else, someone worse off than you are, then you automatically and immediately feel good about yourself.

If you are well off, you should consider volunteering in a poor country and helping their children get better lives. Consider helping senior citizens and spending time with them, or visit shelter and try to help people living there.

Good luck and I am POSITIVE doing this will make you love yourself, not to mention making your girlfriend proud and very happy. The bottom line is, occupy youself so that you stop thinking such thoughts because I too think these thoughts quite a lot.

Answer 4

Sounds like you can have a little depression. I don't like medication for depression unless you really have a consistent problem with it - then your seratonin levels can be low.

I think a lot of the 'esteem' issues is very simple in theory. You have to be 'internally' at peace with yourself. The more you look for others and outside forces to make you happy or to put you in a good mood - the more you're setting yourself up to be depressed and disappointed.

Developing these internal structures for self-esteem can be developed by helping others - friends - just help them in what they're trying to do without looking for something in return, go to an assisted living place and make some old person's day - some of them never get visitors, volunteer at a child's cancer ward. Sometimes we forget what a good life we really have - someone that loves us, that you may a future with and we get wrapped up in me, me, me.....

Good to see what's on the outside - how people have no one, or no future. Makes you appreciate what you have and giving of yourself makes you feel really really good. and My husband I visit my aunt at a nursing home - and sometimes we don't want to leave because all the old ladies think my husband is their boyfriend. HAA

Oh, by the way - while your thinking of being someone else, you're wasting your own life. I know lots of wealthy people and I wouldn't trade places with any of them. Sometimes things look a lot better than they really are. If you nuture plants in your own back yard, you won't be looking in someone else's back yard for food.

Answer 5

Steve's mind wanders as he does his homework. "I'm never going to do well on this history test," he thinks. "My dad's right, I'm just like him — I'll never amount to much." Distracted, he looks down and thinks how skinny his legs are. "Ugh," he says to himself. "I bet the football coach won't even let me try out when he sees what a wimp I am."

Julio is studying for the same history test as Steve, and he's also not too fond of the subject. But that's where the similarity ends. Julio has a completely different outlook. He's more likely to think, "OK, history again, what a pain. Thank goodness I'm acing the subject I really love — math." And when Julio thinks about the way he looks, it's also a lot more positive. Although he is shorter and skinnier than Steve, Julio is less likely to blame or criticize his body and more likely to think, "I may be skinny, but I can really run. I'd be a good addition to the football team."

We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, what we're good at, and what our weaknesses might be. We develop this picture over time, starting when we're very young kids. The term self-image is used to refer to a person's mental picture of himself or herself. A lot of our self-image is based on interactions we have with other people and our life experiences. This mental picture (our self-image) contributes to our self-esteem.

Self-esteem is all about how much we feel valued, loved, accepted, and thought well of by others — and how much we value, love, and accept ourselves. People with healthy self-esteem are able to feel good about themselves, appreciate their own worth, and take pride in their abilities, skills, and accomplishments. People with low self-esteem may feel as if no one will like them or accept them or that they can't do well in anything.

We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives — especially during our teens when we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in the world. The good news is that, because everyone's self-image changes over time, self-esteem is not fixed for life. So if you feel that your self-esteem isn't all it could be, you can improve it.

Answer 6

You have to think about the thinks that you are best at. It can be a weird trait or special talent and you think the best of it. Sometimes if someone speaks negativly about you, you really just have to shut it off. I understand it's hard (enspecially if its family, I myself had alot of negativity from family) but I learned to shut it all off. One morning I woke up and thought, 'why am I trying to make them happy if whatever I do doesn't please them?' You have to learn to accept and be happy with yourself, because if there's someone you really should impress, it's YOU.

Answer 7

well... why do you have low self esteem? are you not reaching your goals? just write down a list of your pros and cons.. work on your cons.. then when you get disappointed look at your pros.. everyone is good at things.. they just dont know it! then write down goals that can take you small steps... it could be getting a job, or going out to get the mail.. lol.. good luck!!

Answer 8

Positive self-talk. You need to tell yourself you are worthy. It sounds corny, but positive affirmations really do work. You have choices, so use the positive ones.

Answer 9

Only One thing will help ya,and that is praying and getting close to your God.Maybe you will laugh on this answer but it is the only way to find again yourself.

Answer 10

Talk to your doctor about it, especially since it seems that it's been going on for quite a while.