9 year old son has autism , we need help urgently?

Question

our 9 year old son has autism,normally he copes well as we do, however over the past 6 weeks he has become so aggressive,anyone near him is at risk, we have asked for help, a multidsciplinary meeting is being arranged,we have been told it may take 4 to 8 weeks to arrange, our older daughter {10} has to lock herself in her room when he starts his behaviour, we are being scratched,punched and kicked at times, he hits himself quite severely as well, it is absolutely sole destroying to watch your son press a self destruct button,we love him dearly and hope that someone can help us through this, he is not on any medication at present, he injured someone recently, enough for them to end up in casualty, we are at our wits end

Answer 1

your son is obviously very frustrated about something that he is unable to communicate to you. You say this came on suddenly and has gotten worse, can you think of any triggers that may have started this? Any changes in the house (as simple as rearanging a room) a new babysitter or worker, someone new introduced to everyday life? He may be anxious about the fact that school is starting up again soon. I have worked wit a lot of autistic children and so often I've discovered its something so simple that is causing the distress and once that problem is rectified the behaviours improve. Do you live in ontario? if so, there are resources that you can get to help you and to provide reliefe for your son and your family. There is also a course called NVCI - non violent crisis intervention...it teaches ways of deescalating situations before they become violent, but also ways to safely restrain without injury to the child or the adult. Make sure that he has a safe space where he can vent, a room that he needs to be redirected to when having these episodes, and while it may be difficult to contain him, you need to keep him in one area when he is out of control, this will help set boundries and he will learn quickly that this is where he is to go when he needs to vent. I know that its hard to watch your little boy hurt himself or others, but with autism it often happens, all you can do is do your best to keep him and yourself safe. If you would like, email me where you are and i can look up resources for you in your area to assist you. But in the mean time, think hard about what may have happened 6 weeks ago to trigger this. Look for patterns in the behaviour, times, days of the week, people present when he blows up. Keep an ABC chart of all of his outbursts A- antecedent, what happened right before (literally minutes before) B- Behaviour displayed and C- consequence (what happened right after the behaviour, not a consequence as in punnishment, but the natural consequence of his actions. If you do this for a while you may find patterns and be able to alter the behaviour by altering the pattern. Autism is something that you can't *fix* and most autistic children can be a delight to work with and to be around, but it takes a lot of time and work to learn how to work *WITH* the autism and the behaviours that come with it....you cant make it go away so work around it. Accomodate to a reasonable point, but still be sure to set boundries and limits and make them clear and understandable to the child. Good luck, I wish you all the best. If I can help in any way, please email me at [e-mail] I can offer many suggustions, but i think this answer is far too long for now. Take care and again, feel free to email me.

Answer 2

Contact the National Autistic Society to see what help they can offer you. Check out their website. There is a wealth of information there. Try local resource centres, parent groups and maybe your local CAB or schools to see if other parents have self-help groups. Try your GP, medication might be on offer until an assessment is done. See if you can get some respite care for your son, so that your family can get a break. Put more pressure on those arranging the multi-disciplinary meeting. Call them every day, don't pester them but reinforce how tough a time you are having and that the reality of it is you can't or won't be able to cope. There is no shame in it, it is a fact and you need help. There is nothing wrong with that.
I am the manager of a residential home and have looked after children and adults with Aspergers and Autistic Spectrum Disorder. I know how tough this is. Keep trying, there is help out there. And maybe be prepared for the fact that your son might need to be in a different environment, cared for by other people who have experience of dealing with this distressing condition. I wish you well and don't dispair.

Answer 3

well if for example a child was being abused it would not take 4 - 8 weeks to organise a multi disciplinary meeting, it would be damn quick; equally if you phoned your Social Worker and said you were dropping your son off in 3 hours unless you had a date and time for a meeting this week, they might actually listen. They have a duty to assess your child within a reasonable time span but if he (or your daughter) is at risk of significant harm, from his behaviour or the reaction of others to it they should act immediately. Your situation is completely unacceptable, you need help now, this is a crisis for all of you. Your Dr/child psychologist/social worker are all there to help and if they are not themn do not be afraid to call, speak to the team or practice manager/ nhs trust and say you wish to make a complaint and will be writing to your MP/newspaper etc. That will work . often it is 'the system' not individuals who are to blame and if you complain that can help change it. You deserve better, I hope you feel strong enough to demand that for all of your sakes.

Answer 4

Could it be the increased heat causing this recent behaviour? Is this behaviour at similar times of day? Try cooling him down with a cool bath, and try some Lavender oil in it to help sooth him. I know very little about Autism, but the clients I look after in a Psychiatric unit are all exhibiting an increase in aggressive behaviour due to the hot weather, and helping them to cool down has helped a lot! Hope this helps! Best wishes x

Answer 5

Go to your local library and get some books. There are ways to can help them such as, tickle them under their nose when they are in the middle of that. Be gentle and restrain them firmly but gentle. Have comfort things like textures, blankets, bean bags or body pillow it may help him. There are some medicines seek a Child Psychiatrist or your GP for details. If this gets extreme and severe a hospitalization or partial may be of help. But do seek help you can help him! God bless. Oh and try some websites too!

Answer 6

I don't know if this works for autism, but it works for other behavior problems, and that is take all sugar out of his diet, now - including foods that are naturally high in sugar. You may want to find a glycemic index on the web and eat the low glycemic foods.

This may help. My thoughts are with you.

Answer 7

Contact the National Austic Society, they have a helpline and they are really good.
There may well be a trigger to his behaviour that he is not able to communicate to you, such as toothache, or intolerance to something that seems quite ordinary to you.
At the meeting, make sure that your needs, and those of your daughter, are fully taken into account.
Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 8

Have you looked up CAMH's - Children and adolescent mental health services?

I don't know if they can help, but worth a try.

Why the heck is your doctor not helping? Call him out as an emergency. Swallow your pride or whatever it may be, that's holding you back from screaming out for help from the rooftops!!

Take him to A&E. Or call 999.........

Good luck to you and your boy. Sounds like he needs sedating for a little while before he burns out.

Answer 9

My 10 year old niece's behavior has deteriorated recently. She isn't actually violent, except that she tears up her room when she's mad. We think hormonal changes are beginning. I'll be interested in what responses you get.

Best wishes & hang in there!

Answer 10

Whatever else you do, also check out the gluten free diet recommended for Autism.