If you grew up without a father or you had a horrible one..I know how you feel, I know the missing piece in your life, that big empty hole. Mine was an abusive drunk beyond belief. If this is you I want to share what I've learned with you. You can be the parent your father never was, you give them what we never got, lavish them in love without hesitation, never allow a day to go by without hugging them and making them feel how loved and cherished they are. Give to them what we wanted so badly but never got...see we know how because we remember what we wanted..use the pain to your advantage. I know the fear of having children...let me say I've had 3 children and they walked in love everyday, I bathed them in love and affection..there was never a day they didn't walk in love..EVER! I simply gave them what I wanted so badly when I was growing up...it's not that bad things happened to us..it's OUR reaction to it that counts..love them without ceasing!
Sorry so long!
Do you agree?
2006-08-07 08:38:26 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I know my dad, but I don't really know him. We live in the same house, but my Dad isn't really an affectionate type of person. He tends to pretend I'm not there for the most part. Yes I understand exactly what you are saying, because I have learned from the mistakes he made, not only with me, but my brother and two half-sisters as well. I have also learned from the horrible mistakes one of my half-sisters has made with her four kids. I promised myself when I was still a little kid that I would be a better parent than either of them have turned out to be. I think what you are doing is wonderful, keep up the good work.
2006-08-07 08:51:53 · answer #1 · answered by shea_8705 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes...my 2 sons grew up without a father..he died in his own drunk driving accident when they were 2 nd 3...so not even memories of him....i gave them what i didn't have growing up...i got no love from my parents only abuse... but i still cry though that i didn't remarry so they could have a dad.. although they say it doesn't matter...i never knew my grandparents so i can't wait to be a grandmother and pass the love onto their children and continue to make a change ...
2006-08-07 15:53:20 · answer #2 · answered by Happy Summer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do agree! I'm glad you have been able to overcome your dysfunctional role modelling. I come from a violent and dysfunctional family too, and have had a very difficult time being a parent. I have participated in Adult Children of Alcoholic and dysfunctional families for about 15 years now. ACoA is a 12 Step group. It has helped me tremendously!
2006-08-07 15:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I agree. Although I have a father, my parents are divorced and I don't get too see him very often. I still love him and my mother with all my heart!
2006-08-07 15:45:11 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know it to be true, why ask? I believe that's possible, but I don't want to have kids for the opposite, I don't want to be like my biological father. So I don't date. It hurts, and it's lonely, but I think it's better than possibly hurting a child. But I'm glad that you didn't turn out that way.
2006-08-07 15:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by Meh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely: We can be ruled by the past, or take charge of today!
This is a choice that we get to make each day.
Your children are lucky that you are so grown up in your attitude!
2006-08-07 15:44:01 · answer #6 · answered by amkornele 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another child of a violent abusive drunk here.
2006-08-07 15:49:42 · answer #7 · answered by Pablito 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about how you felt when you were growing up. I hope that all your dreams come true and that you succeed in being a good father.
You are being a good man.
2006-08-07 15:45:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, not having a father is horrible. i haven't seen mine since i was 2 and i'm now 21. i can't remember his face.
2006-08-07 15:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry. 4th commandment. honor thy father and thy mother. it does not speak of exceptions to this rule.
2006-08-07 15:44:02 · answer #10 · answered by mr_master_of_domain 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋