kindergarten blues?

Question

my son is starting kindergarten in 2 weeks and i feel lost. he's my only child so this is new to me. how do i get over my motherly attachment and let him go? he's excited so i try not to let him see my worry. i need SERIOUS answers only please.

for your info "fanmail" his name means chief son and if you can read, it's pronounced EXACTLY how it's spelled. his name isn't stupid it's original. you're the stupid one.

you guys are giving me a lot of help :) there are so many good answers, it's hard to choose a "best" answer. thank you :)

Answer 1

it seems that a mother's worries and attachments never seem to go away no matter how old your kids get!

Answer 2

Awww. It wil be okay, my son is starting school in 3 weeks. And I'm a little nervous. He has been in preschool for the past 2 years, so it's not as big of an adjustment, but it's still "real school". Just plan things to do with him when he gets home. Make sure to ask him about his day and encourage him to tell you what's going on so you don't feel like you're missing anything. Definitely do spot checks (go to the school announced) to ease your own worries. Sometimes you can even peek in and watch him playing and he won't even know you're there. It's always fun to watch how they interact with classmates when your not around. And you'll began to enjoy that freedom once you get used to it.

Answer 3

It's good that he's excited!

My oldest is in 2nd grade and switched to a new school this year. My middle started KG 2 weeks ago and my youngest is 3.5 years.

Have you taken him to look around his new school and meet his teacher yet? Find out if there is a time the teacher will be in the building so you can stop in to meet her and see his room and maybe tour the school. This will help to put BOTH of you at ease about the first day.

It can be odd to have an empty house when you're used to having your child with you all day. (Mine wasn't "empty" but it was "different" with not everyone home.) You'll find that you may enjoy having some time to get things done around the house and run errands without a tag-a-long. And then, you're refreshed and energized and ready to pay him some focused attention when he returns from school.

Will he be in 1/2 day or full day? Honestly, the transition to KG wasn't too hard for me when my son went. It was harder when he went to first grade since it was all day long.

Expect that there may be a day or two for him where he gets sad or homesick at school during the first couple of weeks. The teachers are very understanding and know how to deal with this to help the kids. My daughter had a day like this in her first week, but her teacher was great.

The hardest thing for me when my oldest started KG was not knowing what he was doing every moment of the day. I had to try to contain myself to not put him to the third degree when he got home! I'd have private time with him and go through his backpack with him to see what he had brought home while he had a snack. Try to make sure you keep the lines of communication open with him so you know what is happening at school. Early on, tell him stuff like that you want to know the names of 2 classmates when he comes home to help encourage him to get to know other kids and encourage him to tell you about his day. The teachers will most likely send home daily behaviour reports and/or weekly newsletters too.

Find out when and how much the teacher needs parents to volunteer in the class. This will help you get to know the teacher, the school, the other students and some of their parents. The teacher will appreciate it SO much and it's nice to get to know all the kids. I'd suggest waiting about 2 weeks unless the teacher really needs help earlier. This gives the child time to get used to being at school w/o you.

Answer 4

Hi, Mom,

Been there before, and experiencing it all over again with my second baby going off to school tomorrow for the first time.

If you give yourself a week or two to get used to this new stage in both his life and yours, you might actually find that you quite enjoy the three or so hours to yourself, and this new stage in his life will be another type of bonding for both of you. Engage him in conversation about what he learned in school today, his new friends, what he did at recess, and in so doing, you will cultivate the kind of relationship that helps to ensure that he will always come to you for help.

If you really can't take it after that initial two weeks, you can volunteer to help out in the classroom or in the front office a couple days a week so that you're involved, but not there to mother him. You can also volunteer to go on field trips when they need chapparones, help out during class parties, etc.

Good luck, and be strong for your boy.

Answer 5

Be very excited for him on the first day, then plan to sit in your car and cry for an hour or so...worry the whole day, about nearly anything... going potty, eating lunch, making friends, not missing you (it's endless!)... love how adoringly he will run to you when he sees you afterschool and prepare for the tears from him when he realizes that he has to go again for day 2. After a week or so both of you will have adjusted and you will be so proud of how grown up he is becoming, resent it at the same time and enjoy the addition of his teachers etc. in his development. When my son started the PTA was waiting for all of the first time moms (and others) with hugs and tissues, its all part of sending them to school, both of you growing up and because you love his so much. Just remember it does get easier by week 2. (Unfortunately for both my son and daughter day 2 and 3 were the hardest... so it made for a long first week... and the first day of week 2 was a bit tear-filled...but now they are in 3rd and 1st grades and can't wait for school to start...oh and I can't wait for them to go!)

Answer 6

I understand how you feel. I cried with each one of my kids leaving to start kindergarten. It was really hard with my first and my last child. Find something to keep yourself occupied while he is gone. Make it a celebration when he gets home that first day. Make time to have him share with you how his day went, cookies and milk etc, and get involved in activities such as room mom, PTA etc where you can also be there with him. They grow up so fast and pretty soon you're going to be doing the same thing when he leaves for college or leaves home. This is just a warming up for the big day.

Answer 7

Will the teacher allow you to hang around a little the morning of the first day? Maybe if you see him there with the other kids enjoying himself it will help to set your mind at ease. It will get easier as the school year progresses. This is one of the hurdles all parents have to get over, but obviously everyone is capable of making it through the first day of kindergarten, I don't know of any kids who never attended school because their parents didn't want to let go of them. It'll help if you stay involved with the classroom. It'll be great, don't worry =)

Answer 8

Take it one day at a time. I feel that way about my brother. I need to protect him and not let him out of the real world but you have to. Someday he has to leave home and you need to give him the opportunity to be the best all-around person he can be.

To make it easier, you can meet the other children and the teacher. Talk to the children's parents. Maybe they're going through the same thing. Taking their help will make it much easier

Good luck with your son!

Answer 9

Hi, my little girl starts kindergarten too in a couple of weeks. My little boy starts preschool too. Its easier for me because my little girl also went to preschool. Just wait for the first bus ride, lol, bring a camera. Deep breath, its going to be ok. Its great fun for them and excellent for socialization and learning. Remember that its a very short day and I think you'll find that its nice to have some time to shop and get your work done while he's at school.

Im looking forward to it. He will be fine! I have to smile at this because I felt the same way when my little girl the oldest started preschool. She was only 3 when she took her first bus and I rode with her. I dont think Ill be so scared when my boy starts. He used to go with me to sisters school cause I used to go for lunch with the class, and he loved it. Im sure they wouldnt mind if you go on the bus and observe the class, and then you'll feel more at ease. Best of luck, love fellow mom.

Answer 10

You will get over it..he's becoming more independent each and every day..this is great and good for you for nurturing it..each day he comes home and shows you a paper he has done or talks at the dinner table about his friends and all the "guess whats?", you will certainly have all the warm fuzzy feelings..one more milestone..I have had 3 go through this and the 4th will in a few years..it doesn't get easier, it just gets better..join a mom's group in your area..or plan out your day alittle more..hope this helps..

Answer 11

Kindergarten is only for a few hours a day. Perhaps you could take up a hobby to occupy the hours while he is out. Or you could use the time to run errands without your little boy (you'll get them done faster than usual) so you can have dedicated play time together when school gets out.