so i have been hooking up with a guy for about 6 months now. we go out every now and then with a bumch of friends and by ourselves seldomly. he says he loves me (he was the first to say it) yet, i dont know what to call our relationship because it has never been defined. and i dont know if he means it the way i do when i say it. i can see us together, but i dont know where we stand. he has a bunch of friends that are girls who are very close to him and i do get jealous because he will pick them over me sometimes. the only thing im sure of is that he will call me every night before he goes to sleep to say goodnight. should i ask him what this thing is? finally define our relationship? i dont know what to do... is there something there?
2006-08-07 08:18:17 · 12 answers · asked by hunnyz_heart 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
there's nothing wrong with wanting to know what ur guy is thinking, and what his intentions are. in fact, a man should do that; let u know exactly what his intentions are. if u want a relationship, ask him. tell him what u feel, what u expect from urself, and what u expect from him in a real relationship. if he is not ready, he will tell u. or he will start ignoring u if he is immature. =T.. it's sad, and it's gonna hurt..but it's worth it because u need to know that YOU are worth something. work on urself; are u confident in urself as a woman, as a girlfriend? if u know u are Awesome, and great, then u will realize what u deserve, and not settle until u find it. maybe he is the one! but u need to find out. and if he's not, let him go so u can find the one who IS worthy of you. maybe u do love eachother..but if u don't use that love to work on the releationship, make eachother feel safe, loved, secure, and happy, then it's not a good relationship. and if love is one sided, u will end up w/ heartbreak. not cuz u didn't love him enough, or cuz u failed, but because it wasn't right. if u think he's a great guy and a good boyfriend, tell him that he has this potential, and he will be flattered. but if he doesn't give u what u need and want, then u have to leave him. it's ok, u can even leave w/ good feelings intact. but u need to set out ur boundaries for waht u want in the relationship.
2006-08-07 08:28:22 · answer #1 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If he says he loves you again, ask him what he means by that and where he sees this thing between you going. Is he still seeing other people right now? Does he care if you see other people? Tell him the things you like about your relationship but also explain your confusion. Talk through it until you have a clearer understanding of where you stand now and what his expectations are for the future.
I would wait until he says he loves you because it's fair to ask what that means. Otherwise, just keep going on as you are for now and see how things develop. There's no need to push too much just yet. (That is, if you aren't sleeping together. If you are, you really should know more of where you stand, and you shouldn't wait to find out. There's a lot more at stake--including what would happen if you got pregnant.)
2006-08-07 08:27:49 · answer #2 · answered by happygirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe it is time that you have a serious talk with this guy. Relationships can become complicated very quickly and it is best that you solve this concern now rather than later on in the relationship where this problem could evolve. It sounds like he loves you but you both are just sitting out there, neither one of you making a move. He could feel the same way you do. You won't know unless you talk to him. I think he really cares about you. Just take him to a place free of distractions and tell him how you feel. If he takes you seriously then you know he is the right guy. If he doesn't.... well you make that call.
2006-08-07 08:27:43 · answer #3 · answered by cutetedibear 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him and find out what the deal is? Ther's nothing worst than not knowing where you stand with someone. The only way you're going to know is to ask. If he picks any woman over you, then that's wrong. But you're not even sure if you are his woman and he is your man. You need to find out if you two are in a exclusive relationship.
And except nothing less than a yes or a no. Good luck
2006-08-07 08:25:49 · answer #4 · answered by Renee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not ask him to define the relationship. This way you will know if you two are on the same page.
2006-08-07 08:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would call it a serious relationship. Don't worry about his friends because he tells you that he loves you and he calls you every night. You should ask him where he thinks you two stand and tell him how you feel.
2006-08-07 08:26:25 · answer #6 · answered by Beautiful Princess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that he truly has feelings for you. I think you should speak honestly with him & lay it all on the line. This just might motivate him to commit to a serious relationship. Or, he might just cut & run, in which case you'd really be better off.
2006-08-07 08:36:39 · answer #7 · answered by WillyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do try to sit him down and ask him. Maybe at lunch or something. Don't make it a big thing, but try to put your feelings into words and ask him how he feels. Like you did in your question. Good luck.
2006-08-07 08:23:44 · answer #8 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious that to him this is just a "friends with benefits" situation. To you it's a relationship....to him it is just sex. If you want something more...move on!
2006-08-07 08:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by m27jean 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him when you are alone at a romantic scene to define your relation.
2006-08-07 08:25:04 · answer #10 · answered by Tota 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋