My dad keeps insulting me. Help!!!!!!?

Question

I don't know what to do. He keeps insulting my intelligance and calls me stupid. He also insults me about my wieght. When I try to tell him to stop, he gets really angry and mean. And then everyone else gets mad at me for making him act like a jerk. What should I do, I'm only 13! Please help!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Sit down with your Dad and talk to him how you feel. You are not dumb. Do not let anybody tell you that you are. He has no right to make you feel bad. Your dad should protect you and give you more encouragement rather than bullying you. Did you talk to your mom about it? Do not be afraid to tell them how you feel. Self confidence is very important to you right now. If your dad does not listen to you then take it to the next level like your pastor or an adult that you could trust, or report it to the police. That is mental abuse.

Answer 2

Oh Katie, you sweet girl, here's a hug from me , girlfriend.

I am 39 and I can remember having a Dad like yours. He was scary when he yelled, so I was too afraid to tell him how I was feeling . So today, when I look back at that scared little girl that I was, I see that I had every right as a beautiful human being to speak my truth about my feelings to him, about how hurt and sad I was feeling, even if he was mad and insulting.

I know it was hard for me because my Dad was the Big Guy in charge, I didn't think I had any power or any say in the way things were. Now what I do is ...when I talk to my Dad, I imagine him the same age as me, so for example, I'm really only talking to a 13 year old boy that is maybe scared, hurt and feeling unloved too. Suddenly, it's much easier to talk to him.

God and your Guardian Angels are always at your side to help you, so don't feel alone, precious girl.Listen to your heart and it will never steer you wrong, because the heart is your pure essence, you are who you are, not what other people say you are, after all, they are not inside your body/mind/soul...YOU ARE!!

And don't forget to ask someone in your family or outside your family if you need help with this.....you don't have to go through this alone.

God Bless you child....Peace and Love to you xoxoxo

Answer 3

I'm real sorry for starters. My mom always did this to me when I was your age. Tell him that for now on when he insults your intelligence that you will not listen to him. Instead, you are going to leave every time he does it, even if it means you locking yourself in the bathroom. No one deserves to be treated in this manner and he wouldn't like it if someone did it to him. Then you might question how much intelligence it takes to insult a child. What's wrong, he can't stand up to anyone his own age. Oh, and a fathers job is do give love and advice, this is damaging to your self esteem. A 13 year old is a tough phase where it hurts to hear insults from anyone, especially your own father. If at all possible, seek out help at school or another relative. It would appear to me that you are very intelligent, just by what you wrote. You know that what he is doing is wrong. Try to remember this as well;they are only words, they are only words. Know who you are and practice telling yourself how and why you are special so that your brain can counteract what he is doing.

Answer 4

Write down everything that hurts you about what he says and post it to him. Keep a copy and if need be send a copy to you school guidance counselor so some one outside of your home situation knows. It is unfair that some you love causes you so much pain but I pray that u can forgive him so you can love yourself. If you have to avoid spending too much time with him Find helpful activities/ hobbies to do. Don't go off the rails and end up in the wrong crowds, be strong enough to dream of a better tomorrow. I'm now 31 and I was raised in a house full of people who made me feel like a freak, they were all lighter skinned tall and had model figures I was short dark and skinny. Not anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I survived the experience and became stronger for it, though looking back the pain is still there but I forgave them.

Answer 5

Maybe you feel your dad is at fault somehow or are just projecting your feelings of being pissed being deaf on him for some reason. Maybe because he is nice to you and is trying to help. Sort of like a person who gets all pissy with someone that is just trying to help them with homework or getting something done. He is helping you and he is the closest thing you can get angry at? I would stop doing that though. Dads love their kids and would do anything to help them most of the time. He sounds like a great guy. Stop being a douche and be nice to your dad. Maybe write him a nice letter telling him you are sorry for being so cruel to him even though he is being awesome to you. Tell him about your feelings and what you are going through. Tell him you would like to go to therapy to get over some of these harsh feelings of anger towards God and becoming deaf. That's got to bite dude. I feel for you I really do but stop being a douche. Fathers are more tender towards insults from their young than your friends are from your insults. Parents are hurt by their kids hating on them. Elders just want to help the younger generation get by easier than they did. STOP BEING A DOUCHE. See how I didn't show sympathy and only told you what needs done?

Answer 6

Is this your real dad? I was raised by my mother and step-father. I know first hand the damage negative reinforcement can have on ones self-esteem. Your right to ask for help, but is this the right place?

I would stay as far away from your DAD when he begins abusing you. Ignore him when he does and walk away, remembering your beautiful.

At the age of 13 there are so many groups/clubs you can become affiliated with. The Scouts and similar organisations provide youth with the life skills to become confident and successful individuals. Organisations like the scouts value, praise and encourage youth and provide the opportunities to make new friends and engage in activities which help build self-esteem.

I wouldn't attempt to change your fathers behaviour. As has already be suggested your father is perhaps trying to help you with some sort of amateur reverse psychology or maybe he is simply projecting his own insecurities onto you. It maybe your are unable to help your father change his behaviour, just as he is unable to help you blossom.

Become affiliated to something positive. this may negate your fathers insults. As people begin to tell you your great, full of potentail... The prick of your fathers insults me become less painful.

You'll also have great fun and you'll learn valuable life skills ahead of you peers.

Answer 7

Stop trying to gain his approval. It unfortunately seems like he will not be pleased with anything you do. You have to keep in mind that it isn't you that he's unhappy with. It's something within himself. He's using you as a vent. You should try to distance yourself from his insults. This is verbal abuse and you shouldn't have to live like this. My father used to be very verbally abusive. He's changed now, but I'm 26 years old. It took a long time. You have to be concerned with doing what you know is right. Take care of yourself. If you do have a weight problem or a problem with your grades it may be because you feel like crap. Your Dad's insults make that worse. Don't let his insults damage you anymore. Find approval within yourself. You're worth it. You have to know that though.

Answer 8

You should ignore him, don't show that this is bothering you. He is doing this because he knows he can get a rise out of you.
At 13 you shouldn't worry too much about your weight, you are growing and unless you are really over weight, you will thin out with time. Your father is suffering from his own insecurities and has to make other look bad for him to look good. H e is the one that needs counselling.

Answer 9

Try not to take what he says so personally. Obviously he is a jerk.

I am sure he loves you and thinks he is saying something that is Funny or not hurtful, but he is wrong.

Is it possible when he is in a good mood that you can let him know that it hurts you when he says such things?

Talk to an adult and let them know how you feel - someone close to your dad that can talk to him sometime when he is away from you and the rest of the family.

Good luck - I will say a prayer for you.

Answer 10

Do your best to keep your self-esteem. Never let anyone bring you down. I was treated the same way. I had zero self esteem by the time I left home. I am now happy and the mother of 4 who I would never hurt. My parents wonder why i have not been to their house in at least two years. (I left home more than10 years ago) I am still talked to like a child with no brain so I avoid the situation. Keep your chin up and remember that Jesus loves you and knows your worth! Yet they still wonder why they never see their grandkids.

Answer 11

You are not to blame here. He is the adult-but not acting like one. Do not retaliate. You don't want to be ugly like someone is ugly to you.
Your mother is allowing him to mentally abuse you. She is abused, too, since she is not taking action for you. This is not funny or ok or just something you have to put up with.
Talk to your mother. Tell her you are very upset and want her help. She needs to be sticking up for you and the rest of the family. He needs counselling and if he won't go, she needs to go.
If she won't do anything, which is probably likely, YOU need to tell someone at school, and get some counselling.
Whatever your weight or your problems, he should be loving and good toyou. And you need to be kind to him, too. He is very unhappy.