I've just found out my father has died. We hadn't spoken for the past 3 years for a number of big reasons. I'm 19. Should I go to his funeral? I think yes to be respectful, but no because I will have to see his side of the family, including my nana (grandmother) who I also do not have contact with.
2006-08-07 07:40:13 · 26 answers · asked by northukstudent 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he did mistreat me.
And i have a step father who has brought me up since I was 4. He has been more of a father.
2006-08-07 07:46:48 · update #1
Thats something you have to work out yourself girl! sorry to hear thisx
2006-08-07 07:44:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh my love, I'm so sorry to hear your news. I hope you're OK.
The big question is, will you regret missing this time to say goodbye to your Dad or not. You could go and just stay in the background and quietly say your goodbyes to him, or - not.
The other thing is that no parent should have to go through burying a child, your Nana will need all the support that she can get.
You don't have to speak to or say anything to anyone if you don't want to. But it would be a good time to try to put the past behind you. After all he is your Dad.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope that you find peace with him, and carry on with your life without tears or regret.
Make good choices and I'm sure that you'll be OK.
Lou x
2006-08-07 14:56:30 · answer #2 · answered by lou archer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mother had not spoken to her dad for 20+ years because she had lost contact with him when he left her and her mom. However, she still went to his funeral and payed her respects to him. He was her father after all and she wanted to be there for the last time.
I think you should go and if the situation starts getting too much, you can leave whenever you want. Best wishes â¥
2006-08-07 14:53:31 · answer #3 · answered by italian_princess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if your relationship with your father stunk you should attend his funeral, for closure and a variety of other reasons. This is one of those pivotal moments that will stay with you for the rest of your life. Whatever you decide, realize the magnitude of this decision and the weight it will carry on future developments. The benefits of growth potential may outweigh the discomfort you experience being around his family ( l can actually relate to this dynamic, and I still think it's worth doing...for your sake). Good luck in whatever you decide.
2006-08-07 15:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know ur circumstances but I think if u do not go u may regret not saying goodbye 4 the rest of ur life, even if u have to put up with family members who u cant get along with at least u will be able 2 rest knowing u payed him ur respects.
2006-08-07 14:44:27 · answer #5 · answered by Jenny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the person who says that you will always regret it if you don't go. It just might be that your father's death could bring about a reconciliation or at least a truce, within the family, which would be a wonderful thing. If it doesn't, at least you will know that you tried. It's important to say a formal farewell to your father to bring peace of mind to yourself.
2006-08-07 14:49:26 · answer #6 · answered by mad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear you are in such a tricky situation.i think you need to think of how you would feel in say a few years time if you didnt go.would you feel bad?i understand its going to be so uncomfortable for you to go,seeing as he wasnt that good to you.i think you need to rise above that negative feeling you have.go for your own pride and sanity.do it for yourself i suppose rather than him.im just worried that if you dont go you will beat yourself up about it later on in life.your step father will be understanding.life is too short to bare grudges.it will be only a couple of hours of your life.you will probably feel able to close that chapter in your life if you do go.otherwise that horrid niggly feeling will just fester.good luck.im sure everything will work out ok.
2006-08-07 15:40:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes you should go . keep a low profile ,the family should come to you if their interested in making the peace with you ,you wont regret going and it will show the family that you can forgive ,( if not forget.)you will never get this chance ever again .
2006-08-07 15:26:53 · answer #8 · answered by MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only you can answer this really, but if i was you i would go to pay your respects, and as for the other side of the family just ignore them at the end of the day they should know why you are there!xx
2006-08-07 14:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by love_baby_crystal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go the funeral. No matter what has happened, he was still your father and the only one you will ever have.
2006-08-07 14:44:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk it over with ur stepfather. i think u should go just like u said through respect. u don,t have to bother much with them and don,t give them a reason to run u down show them u r bigger than that. because they r small minded doesn,t mean u have to b
2006-08-07 14:57:31 · answer #11 · answered by herberto48 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋