How would you handle this situation?

Question

Me and this girl have been just playin around for 2yrs. Ive been brutally honest to her. Ive told her i dont want a relationship. I get everything i want from this girl. She is awesome she cooks she cleans she does everything you could want from a woman. But im content with what we are doing. I dont want to put a label on it? I like her alot. I have told her all this. I like you but i just dont feel the need to put a label on this relationship we have. She says she wants whatever i want. As long as im with you ill take you. I like the way it is and if you dont like it then you should just leave me or move on. Well i think she like me too much to let go. Should i end it or what. My friends are telling me to put a label on it or let it go and detach her. Im not really sure what to do. I think a relationship should be comforting and im comfortable about the whole thing. I think im being fare by being honest. Relationships are just so complicated. Whats the best thing to do?

Answer 1

obviously relationships aren't that complicated, because you and she are already in one, like you said you just don't like labels, so just don't label it! i was in a relationship and I never called him my boyfriend because i thought the name was just too juvenile. You are happy and so is she. What more could you want? Besides a label is exactly what it is, a label. Honestly you can never put a label on something that is so good, it kills it. i think it's great what you two are doing just as long as it IS only you 2 then everything should be fine.

Answer 2

Mr. Chivalry says, "Mike P, do you not think you are in a relationship now? It's like you're saying, "I know it's a Mitsubishi by the sign, but I don't want to call it by it's name." You like her; she likes you. Why do you think calling it what it is will change the relationship? Do you not want the relationship to progress? You said that everything is good, and she does everything you could want from a woman. There are a few reasons why you could feel the way you do.

1) You honestly want to take it higher, but care too much about other people's opinions.

2) You don't want to make it exclusive because you fear that there is a greater risk, for some reason.

3) Why buy the cow when you could get the milk for free?

4) There is possibly something better out there.

I can respect the fact that you told her in the beginning how you felt, but if you truly like this girl, then don't string her along. If you ever feel like this woman is the one, and that you could take it further, take a chance. Females, the ones that are hurt by cheating men, feel the same way when a new man comes around. They feel like something could go wrong, and bring chaos in their lives. Love is hard, and life is hard, but as long as you close doors, you never know what could come through. Bad things happen, but as long as you try to prevent it, you could be missing out on something good.

He that finds a wife finds a good thing. I'm not saying get married, but if the woman is as good to you as you say she is, then you might wanna think about what you have for a while."

Mr. Chivalry has spoken.

Answer 3

well you call it playin but if you put a label on it it would make her secure she probaly seems lost cause she don't have a direction I am kind of in the same relationship as you are and he confuses me all the time wants this don't want that but I told him what are we... he put a label on it and I feel some what better i do the same thing as a wife but I don't live with him and I treat him day by day to me if he leaves it will hurt and I will miss him but what can I do if he don't want me.... so either tell her your seeing her thats a label or tell her to leave at what it is cause you scared of relationships I can tell well me to thats why I am where I am you should just tell her you are scared of relationships I think most people are hope I helped all she wants is a sense of direction

Answer 4

I think if you are happy with this relationship and she is happy then I would leave it be; what your friends think shouldn't matter. However, it might not stay that way. It seems as women mature (and sometimes men, too) they don't want to be in a relationship that undefined; I think it's natural that people start to want security and possibly children as they mature. Furthermore, since this relationship isn't serious, I hope you are doing your very best to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. Neverthelss, if you and your girl "friend" are currently happy, why mess up a good thing by making an unneeded change?

Answer 5

the reason why u are happy with it is because u are taking what she is saying at Face value. do u realize, that her saying " i want whatever u want" means "I LOVE YOU!"...?? if u can sleep at night *thinking* u are being fair, fine, so be it. but if u really think hard and realize that you are using this woman...even if she knows it... it is You who are being unfair, mean, and selfish, not her. maybe she is being "dumb", or "letting herself be taken advantage of"....BUT who is the one taking advantage?? it is YOU. so if you feel fine justifying that she knows ur not ready for a relationship, that is ok, cuz u don't care what other people think. but if u really cared and respected her *as a person*... u have to at least admit you are treating her poorly for all the work and love and commitment that she gives to you. she is giving it freely, willingly, and u are lapping it up w/ no commitment back to her, which is kinda sad. it means u don't really respect all those things she is doing for you. u like it, but ur not willing to commit back to her so it is a one sided relationship. like i said, if it doesn't bother u, it doesn't bother u. but when she finally wakes up, or tries to force u into a relationship, or ends up leaving u, don't be surprised, and don't blame her for anything. u are leading her down this road, and eventually a woman who loves w/o getting anything back will feel sad, disappinted, hurt, and lose confidence in herself. she is trying to change ur mind, win u over. if u care about her at all, let her find someone who will give her what she *needs*, which is a commited, loving relationship. remember, a woman scorned is pretty scary thing.

Answer 6

Hey my friend, it seems that you ARE in a relationship. And it sounds like you are scared to admit it. If things are really as great as you say, take her in your arms and ask her to be your g/f. You will melt her heart and your love will grow when you see the happiness in her eyes. What you have is rare, a woman who is understanding and willing to do the "womanly" things for you. Please don't drop her because you are afraid of calling what you already have a relationship. Your friends are right, and if you are not serious enough about her, you need to let her go so she CAN find the guy who WANTS to be with her. Do you love her enough to let her go and find true happiness, if you are not willing to give it to her. Is that fair?? Just embrace it and make all of us reading your question, happy for you!

Answer 7

If you both ok and comfortable with this situation then shouldn't matter what anyone thinks its how you both feel. Also taking it slow might be a good thing and in time you might feel strongly about making it a more of a commitment to one and other there is no rush just make sure its right and what you both want when you take that next step.

Answer 8

Stop being a user, dude. That is way uncool. How would you feel if someone did this to your Ma or your sister? You would be ready to whoop some butt!

Time to grow up. Either give this chick what she deserves by making this a 'relationship' or cut her loose so she can find a man that will give her everything she deserves, and not just be a maid service.

Answer 9

i think you should give a wack at it .. go for a relation ship because the longer you stay with her the harder it is for her to let go! say you don't "label you relationship" and down the rode a couple years you meet a new girl who is fun and awesome! and you wont to be with her! the old girl will have a hard time getting over you! so if you really care about her... label your relation ship! or let it go!

Answer 10

Your friends are right, either put a label on it and quit playing with her feelings and emotions, or let her go. You wouldn't like the situation if you were in her shoes, so be respectful of her.