why does my three year old still not use the toilet or potty, i've tried sticker reward charts?

Answer 1

Your little one is probably just not ready to use the potty yet. All kids mature at different ages. Is he/she showing any signs of being ready? For example, waking up from naptime dry, has a developed vocabulary that includes the words you will use for urination and bowel movements (we use pee and poop at our house), or is uncomfortable in a wet or messy diaper? Do not rush your child. Sticker reward charts do not always work for children regardless of their age. 3 year olds usually like more instant gratification than a sticker on a chart with the promise of a "big prize" when he/she has so many stickers. My 3rd born was over 3 before she potty trained and it took a My First Barbie to be her "price". We bought the Barbie and put it on the shelf in the bathroom. When she went to the potty in the morning, she got to play with the Barbie. If she had an accident, the Barbie went back on the shelf until the next day. No punishment, no deragatory comments, that's just how it was, no exceptions. My son needed an M & M every time he used the potty. Now...my youngest (born when her siblings were 18, 15, and 12) was a horse of a different color. She ABSOLUTELY refused to even sit on the potty (imagine kicking, screaming, and stiffening her legs to where I couldn't even make her sit). We'd let it go a month and then try again. She was nearing 4 when in exasperation, I asked her, "Well, WHEN are you going to use the potty?" She thought it over for a few minutes then told me, "When I am 5 I will use the potty." She was born when I was 38 and to tell you the truth, being potty-trained was a battle I knew I'd never win, so we let her go when she wanted, wear a diaper, a pull-up or panties when she wanted (mostly chose a diaper), and our doctor said not to worry, she'd never seen a kindergartener go to school in diapers. 2 weeks before she turned 5, she announced she was going to use the potty now, got out her panties and she never wore a diaper again (pull-ups at night were unnecessary we found as she got up dry in the morning from that moment on). Oh, well, the strong wills of some children!! Bribes often work for potty training, a small candy such as Skittles, M & M's, or Reese's Pieces work well. Don't promise a toy or anything else special when he doesn't need diapers anymore as 3 year olds have no understanding of long-term goals.

Answer 2

They probably feel scared to go by themselves and their independence is not allowing them to ask you.

I have a three and four year old, both girls. With the first I noticed the signs of wanting to potty and pretty much kept her without any bottoms on for a weekend and viola!

Now the other one was a little harder. The child is a deamon, lol. She got tired of being harassed by the members of her class and said screw it, I'm getting on the potty and wearing panties.

I never did the sticker rewards thing but I did jump up and down, sing, and act like a nut case when they made it to the potty. If ANYONE had of seen me I would of been in the mental ward with the quickness.

The thing is that every child is different. If your baby is showing signs of understanding they are using the bathroom I would suggest taking a weekend, and leaving them totally naked from the waist down. That way if they feel the urge they will come to you all panicked (it's cute) like mommy, something is happening.

It's also hard to hide taking a crap when your naked. Let them see their pee-pee or doo-doo so they know haye, this came from my body and it belongs here (in the toilet)

Don't force or push it. It makes them nervous and retreat farther into the shell.

Diva

Answer 3

Maybe try getting a doll and using it by putting it on the potty chair and having a party for the doll pretending as if the babydoll has went. The child may see that you are rewarding the doll for good job and may want to do the same. I found this in a magazine and tried it with my daughter and it worked after a few times. You may ask your doctor.

Answer 4

a 3 year old just may not get charts, try just giving him the sticker, has he seen other people go? other children? you can also have him try aiming for cheerios. You have to ask allot and make sure he gets your attention during that the way he would if you were changing him cause they still want your undivided attention or they will be reluctant. Are you still letting him use diapers or pull ups, if so get rid of them and when he has an accident make him clean them in the bath room sink so he understands the consequences

Answer 5

When my oldest turned three he was still having a hard time getting to the bathroom and still had accidents.
Its okay, it took him untill right before he was three and half to get it right and even now he is almost four and he still has accidents every once in a while.
Just be patient and talk to your child, don't yell, yelling only causes your child to be stressed out and won't help that matter.
Just keep with your rutine and it will work itself out and you will probably be surpirsed when your child yells from the bathroom mommy I went potty or poopoo lol I know I did. And we jumped around giggling and rejoicing when that day finally came.

Answer 6

If you get stressed by this the child he/she will pick up on it so try to make this task a fun one for all. When they do go to toilet give them a treat and reward them for it. When they do not go to the toilet explain why they should and highlight how it affects you i.e. cleaning the mess up, washing hands, cleaning clothes etc.?

Stay calm throughout the whole process and it may take sometime. Good luck I'm sure others will tell you whats best to do also.

Answer 7

just have a complete break for a couple of months,no trying ,no pottys etc. and dont worry about what anyone else says ..your child will go at there own pace.Theres a lot of preasure on parents to get their kids to do things at certain times but dont worry,its highly unlikely your child will be in nappies at 16!by the why my eldest wasnt potty trained until 3 1/2 my daughter at 2

Answer 8

Maybe your child is just not ready. It could be that maybe they just don't like the potty. You have not said whether it is a boy or a girl. If you have a boy, put a ping pong ball in your toilet bowl and treat it as a game, try and get him to pee on the ball....(It is a good way to teach them to aim in the bowl too). I hope this helps... Good luck x

Answer 9

be patient. My 3.5 yr old just recently started using the toilet like he's supposed to.. ...just keep being positive about it and keep asking him/her if they'd like to go potty in the potty chair. Constant 'positive' reinforcement will help. Otherwise, you may want to check w/ your pediatrician if they're still not going by 4 yrs. old and there is still no obvious reason for the delay.

Answer 10

you need to make it worth the child while, a sticker is hardly much reward to a child.
it could be they want your attention if you have other children or alternatively you may not be persistant enough in ensuring the child uses the toilet.