My husband has had full custody of his daughter for over a year, his ex signed over custody of her own will and said such to the judge. ie: she was not bribed, intimidated or coerced. His ex nows says she WAS intimidated and coerced and changed her mind, says she made a mistake and wants full custody now. We have offered her additional visitation time and tried to work out a compromise but she says she ONLY will take full custody. She says that since we are having a baby of our own she wants her daughter back because she is lonely and miserable. My husband is a great man, and has been a fantastic father, she has nothing but unprovable lies to say about him. SInce there is nothing wrong about the current custody arrangements other than his ex keeps changing his mind, I don't think the judge will or should change anything. We have a great lawyer, but she has a lawyer that seems to not be bothered that she is constantly lying. Anyone have any input?
2006-08-07 05:55:14 · 5 answers · asked by Sunshine 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It's great that you have a lawyer that you can trust. You are right that your attorney isn't worried about the ex's lying, or to the court for that matter, proving the allegations in court is a different matter... If you've been sued for custody, then it's your lawyer's job to help you rebutt what your ex may have to say about your husband.
In Indiana, there has to be compelling reason(s) to change custody and the burden of proof would be on the ex. Sorry, your husband's ex being lonely/miserable and you having a new baby doesn't cut it... As a matter of fact, seems to me that being lonely is a pretty terrible reason for custody, can't she take care of her own emotions?
I'm not an attorney and I'm sorry about the problems with the ex. Keep scrupulous notes of when she exercises her visitation, when she asks for visitation but never shows up, and anything else you might need to rebut her allegations. Try to have a working relationship with the ex --- it will only benefit your daughter and you will know that you did your best AND listen to your attorney. Good Luck.
2006-08-07 07:17:21 · answer #1 · answered by vbrink 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the state you live in, I'm sure. It would SEEM that being lonely and upset that you and her ex-husband are having a new baby would not be cause to decide you can have full custody of a child you had willingly given up rights to.... but you never know about the legal stuff. Open loopholes and crap like that can always be found, it seems, for those selfish enough to not take consideration of the child's best interests. If you have a judge who actually thinks of the child's best interests, your husband will retain custody instead of the unsteady mother. Hopefully, real justice will prevail (although I am beginning to doubt whether or not such a thing exists). My brother is going through custody stuff right now... his wife has cheated on him, disrupted the kids' lives by moving them out of the house, is going out almost every night with guys and partying, leaving the kids with her mom when she is supposed to have them (as in their court order) and calling the police making false reports about my brother (once saying that he was brandishing a weapon- which if you knew my brother, would be absolutely ridiculous). All of this, and he still is getting the legal shaft (because CA is a no-fault state). I can sympathize... her lawyer appears to have the same morals as she does. I guess you kind of have to in order to represent someone like that. Good luck... hope it all works out ok.
2006-08-07 06:12:16 · answer #2 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be prepared for an exceptionally dirty and protracted court battle. This woman sounds slightly unbalanced, but that doesn't necessarily preclude her from trying to obtain custody.
The FIRST thing you should do IMMEDIATELY is get an attorney. This is actually all going to have to go through the husband since HE's the parent (no offense meant toward you, but you're not involved here).
She sounds like she's definitely having second thoughts about her failure to consider future options. Why can't SHE have another baby? Ah, but that's beside the point. The fact remains that she is going to dig in her heals and fight like a hellcat for the kid she relinquished, so be prepared.
2006-08-07 06:59:10 · answer #3 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they may give her half custody meaning she will get her 6 months out of a year just like he would because she can say being without her daughter made her crazy and then she can go to a physciatrist and say things and the judge may look at it like maybe he did bribe her threaten her etc and if worst comes to worst he may give her custody because mothers have more rights then fathers good luck
2006-08-07 07:25:59 · answer #4 · answered by shyshy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't already, start your journal write it all down, everything!!!
sit and think about everything she has done
dates, times etc
write it all down.
remember everything you put in a email might be read by a judge so think first about what you type. You can get this to work against her of course. Try to solicit a response from her.
Make sure you have a good lawyer - ask around.
2006-08-07 06:53:01 · answer #5 · answered by clair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋