My ex-boyfriend & I have known each other for four years. Our break-up was very messy & during that time I would constantly call and beg him to take me back. He would respond back with cruel words & reject me each time I asked. In time I moved on & met someone new. During that time when I had my new boyfriend, my ex would call my house on a weekly basis to ask how everyone in my family was doing because he knew us so well. I kindly told my ex not to call anymore because I have a new boyfriend & it's not right that I stay in contact with him. He agreed and stopped calling. My current relationship with my new boyfriend just ended & me & my old ex started talking again. I thought I could talk and be friends with him, but each time I speak with him I'm reminded of the past (good & bad), what he put me through, & I wind up feeling lousy when we hang up the phone. It seems much easier for him to talk like friends. What should I do? Should I just ignore my phone everytime he calls.
2006-08-07 05:48:07 · 39 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it upsets you to be in contact with him, then tell him that. And ask him nicely to not call you. Sometimes things happen for a reason. Or we feel things that we should pay attention to.
It's not the end of the world. Life goes on. And if you feel lousy or uncomfortable around someone, then listen to your feelings, and dont remain in constant contact with that person. LIfe is to be enjoyed. One never knows what tomorrow has in store.
2006-08-07 05:53:38 · answer #1 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If speaking with him brings back bad memories, I would suggest you move on without him in your life. However if being friends with him is so important, then I would talk to him about that. However you would have to get over things that occured in the past for you to be comfortable seeing him as a friend. Ultimately it's up to you. Sometimes some things are best left in the past. Since it was a messy breakup, it may be best to leave that chapter of your life closed.
2006-08-07 05:52:15 · answer #2 · answered by Cyberwolf 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like to me he wants you back, and he was really never ready to let you go in first place. Well, we all know that we say things we don't mean when we're mad, but some things you just can't get over. You and him will not have a very good relationship. There will always be trust issues, and things like that. I say.......maybe you should just stay friends, but keep in mind that eventually, you will get another man, and I'm sure that your new man won't appreciate this "friend" calling you all the time.
2006-08-07 05:54:36 · answer #3 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't ignore your phone, deal with this problem head on. You have to make it very clear to yourself that you two have the "rebound" relationship with each other. When ever you are with other people you do just fine without him, but when one of you is without you go back to each other. You both need to learn to be alone at some point. Your relationship will never work because there is just way too much "baggage" from the past.
2006-08-07 05:53:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter what he says..be very clear to urself..if ur resolved NOT to take him back,plz DON'T(he seems to be wretched in a winning position).Tell urself and ur ex that u can be nothing more than friends since u need time to discover urself as a person and could do with a friend,not a distrcting ex.boyfriend.If he accepts it,fine if not,its ur turn to ditch him and go ur way...as for the calls,miss out on his calls sometimes so that he understands ur not always 'available' for him.Move on,u need someone who respects u,whether in or out of a relationship.
2006-08-07 05:57:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem a while ago. So I finally called him, told him that I didn't ever want to hear from him again, and that I was moving and changing my phone number. I was moving anyway, but I did actually change my phone number. And I never heard from him again. It's hurtful at the beginning, but necessary. You need to be able to move on with your life.
2006-08-07 05:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Chickie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love knows no boundraries. Leave the past in the past. If my guy considered every time I ever broke his heart we wouldnt be happliy together and engaged now. I say I think he finially is realizing what he missed. Besides guys dont know what they had till its gone. Might of taken him awhile to find that out. I think if you still have feelings for him give him a chance- if you dont then tell him you no longer have any romantic interest in him whatsoever however if he still wants the friendship its still avaliable- that is if you so choose to still be friends with him.
2006-08-07 05:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by cats4ever2k1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop talking to him. Leave the past as it is. This guy is just stroking his ego, knowing ur in the market. He wants no platonic relationship but a quick one with u. My best guess is that he will keep u stringing n make u feel 'wanted', use u as a backup for booty calls. Be firm. You deserve someone who can take u for what u are. Good luck, hun!
2006-08-07 05:54:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the mistake in calling him after your breakup. So just fess up and tell him that you made a mistake and that it would be in both of your interests to cut off all communication and to keep it that way. In fact you need to change your number and make sure to NEVER call him again. Remember he is your ex for a certain reason.
2006-08-07 05:54:18 · answer #9 · answered by vsecrets24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who initiated the latest round of calls - you? If it was you and you don't want to resume a romantic relationship then you should be fair and tell him so. Don't give him mixed messages or use him as filler until you find someone new. Be honest.
If he initiated the latest round of calls, the advice is the same - be honest with him. That's what friends do.
2006-08-07 05:57:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋