How do I tell him I'd like for us to have titles?

Question

I've been seeing a nice guy on and off for almost a year now. We're both in our mid-twenties. We hold hands at the movies and stuff but we haven't kissed yet. [Corny, I know, but we're both conservative Christians]. I think we're both really scared of being in a relationship. However, it feels like we've drifted into couple-hood. We can call each other at all hours and we talk nearly every day. I don't think it's wise to just keep drifting along. Nobody ever drifts to the jewelry counter or to the justice of the peace. I think we should make a small commitment to each other because I do want to get married eventually.
Here's the question:

How do I tell him I'd like for us to have titles (i.e. girlfriend and boyfriend) without scaring him off?

I'm afraid to broach the subject because there's so much at stake for me. I think it could actually work with him. I've been burned really badly in the past and am ready to be with a nice guy now so I don't want to do anything to lose him.

BTW we haven't been "exclusive" all this time. I've seen other guys since we first started dating--I don't know about him seeing other girls. But I find when I'm out with someone else I keep thinking about him.

So hard to choose a best answer! I've seen some really great ones so far. Thanks for all the encouragement!

Answer 1

U should just tell him, get it over with. If he feels the same then u guys are just prolonging what could be great moments in your lifes.

Answer 2

a year is way too long to not have a title.. much less not kiss or anything like that!!! being Christian doesnt' mean kissing is bad, but to each his/her own. :)

what u need to do is set boundaries... tell him what u want in a relationship. tell him how u feel, what u'd like to accomplish in this relationship (ie, develop close relationship/bond, to see if marriage is in the future, get to know him in a relationship level). tell him what u expect from him, and find out what his expectations are. don't be so afraid to lose him that u lower ur standards and give up on ur needs... they have to be satisfied, just as his needs have to be satisfied in order to make that step into a committed relationship. and if u love someone, it means doing what's BEST for that person. and if he's not ready to commit to you, try hard not to take it personally.. u don't want to force anything cuz it'll just cause problems later. but waiting around, heart broken, or being hurt by him, is not going to be good either. that is why u have to set boundaries, talk and communicate w/ him; if u can work together and be on the same page, AWESOME. if not, if he's not ready, etc etc, don't hold it against him and don't stay in an unrequited relationship; u deserve the best, and if he's not it right now, it's ok. u may love him, but u have to find out if he loves u, or even if u guys can make it work right now. good luck~

Answer 3

Well just come clean with it. He is benifiting more from this relationship then you are. Maybe he has past commitment issues, but after a year of being with you he needs to get over that. Just be honest and ask him what his title is for the two of you and if he says just friends then ask him if he would like to step it up to the next level. If he says no then you need to ask him why. If he says no then tell him that you will stay his friend but you will not hang out with him as much so that way you can move on and date other people that are ready to be in commited relationships. Hopefully he will step up to the plate. If not then it is his loss.

Answer 4

First of all don't call it "titles". I commend you on you willingness to waiting on some of the physical stuff, but I think it is too early to be asking to be boyfriend and girlfriend if you haven't even kissed. That is really one acceptable in 2nd grade anymore (but getting younger all the time).
Maybe you should aim for some kisses and then ask him where all this is going about a month after that.
Good luck. Don't over think things. Marriage is not the center of the world.

Answer 5

First, tell him that you love him (or falling for him). Be forward about it. Not telling him will only leave him wondering if he is afraid to say it to you first.
Second, once you see his reaction, proceed according to his response. If he replies in kind you're good to go. If he doesn't, you know it's time to move on.
Better to find out sooner than later. If you wait any longer you may miss an opportunity finding someone even more suitable.
Good luck-- have a great day-- I'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 6

The Rolling Stones - No protection (album yet why no longer) Richie Sambora - Mr. Bluesman (tho im a woman..) Rory Gallagher - Tattoo'd woman T Rex - toddlers of the revolution (lol) Beatles - Lucy interior the sky with diamonds (lol back) conflict - ought to i stay or ought to i circulate (consistently ask your self approximately that) Hendrix - Voodoo Chile Steppenwolf - Born to be wild

Answer 7

Just spill it! Tell him how you feel, you are worrying about scaring him off if you tell him, but how are you going to feel if you didn't even try and he ends up with someone else. Just put it out there that you would like to try to make a commitment and see where it goes.

Answer 8

I think, it is more an issue of does he want to have a relationship with you that is lasting or not. If he doesn't , then you need to move on. Ask him what his view of your relationship is? If you want a husband but he doesn't want a wife and your set on it moving that way soon and he isn't then it is time to end the relationship unless he is so important to you that you are willing to wait.

Answer 9

Dont say titles! Just say something like "I am gonna start telling people you are my boyfriend, will you do the same?" Be honest and tell him you think you are falling for him. After a year he likely feels the same way but is afraid to say something!!

Answer 10

You could start calling him honey and see if he receipcrocates. After a year you can ask his intentions I would think. Has he said He loves you? If not keep on looking cuz if he doesnt love you by now, he never will dear.