What's a good way to teach kids how to be tough when insulted by others?

Question

Something I've been wondering about lately: generally, if someone insults me, I blow it off, but with the kids it's different and more personalized. What's a good way to teach kids how not to be bothered when insulted by someone else?

Answer 1

Compliment your child everyday, tell her you love her, that she/he is beautiful/hansom, you like what she is wearing, she/he has great taste in clothing, she/he looks good in that shirt. Compliment them because that will give them a good self-image. Then explain to the children that when one child picks on another it is more than likely the child doesn't have a good self-image and since they don't like themselves that want to point out other peoples faults. When the child receives an insult have your child compliment the person who gave the insult. The bully will feel good that he/she has something good about himself, and will drop the subject

Answer 2

Explain it this way...
Sometimes kids will "pick" on another to make themselves "appear" better in their own minds. They think the only way they can look better is to place someone else below them and this is the way they do it. The usual first reaction is for the picke don child to retalliate with a comeback of their own. But this only places you down at their level and you want to remain higher.

If they are hurt by the words help them to understand how they feel about the person that called them names and if they do the same they are not any better. Explain that if they look around there are probably more kids that think the other person is rude and won't like them for calling you names even though it's not them that is getting called names. So if you call names back the others may think the same of you. And do they like people thinking they are a bad person? Probably not.

If they have a "bully" they are dealing with then most likely the bully is tormenting other kids as well. One of the best ways to deal with a bully is to confront them. Tell them it doesn't bother you and you are sorry they feel they need to put others down to make themselves feel better. No matter what they say you will always feel the same about yourself.

Also it is good to defend another kid they see being bullied. This will make them look better to all others who witness it and in time they will overpower the bully because their is strength in numbers. Pretty soon the bully will be left out with only a select few that follow him/her and they won't be able to affect anyone like they used to.

Answer 3

Oh No Im going to be slated for this but here goes.......

I'm afraid that when my child started school I was the parent who said never hit, but I soon realised that being in a school enviroment when adults cant be around all the time they have to learn to stick up for themselves otherwise you are setting themselves up for a school life from hell. My child couldnt cope with kids who pushed, shouted, hit etc as he was under the immpresion that all kids were going to be his best friend. In the end I told him that if another person hit him he could hit back, but never hit first as it is easy to fall into the role of bully. It took a while before he did hit back but when he did they left him alone to look for an easier target and that lesson stayed with him all through school (hes 14 now). Hes had the odd fight but overall hes never been bullied and im convinced thats because he made it clear from the start that he wasnt a soft target. I'm not saying thats it right to hit people, far from it, but in human society from toddlers to adults there will always be bullies and bullies are usually cowards who, when faced, will back down. Verbal insults should be at best ignored and walked away from. Ill get off my soap box now!

Answer 4

In Japan at preschools when a kid hurts another kid or insults another kid the teacher ignores the fight. It's really been proven effective in later life, how? At least 1 kid comes up to the fight and pulls the victim away from the bully and comforts them. In later life bullying won't have as much effect. It happens every time, why America doesn't do that I don't know but it would help solve some bullying problems.

Answer 5

The old answer is not to get mad - get even - and you need to find a way to teach your children to humiliate them in front of their friends - this will take the wind our of their sails - unless there is going to be violence involved and then you have to tread carefully - excellent question though !

Answer 6

The best thing for a child to say when hurtful words by others hit them is: "Thank you"! My 10 yo gets told he's a "freak" and when he says thank you, it puzzles others! "Thank you" or "Thank you for your opinion", its great to hear little kids say such profound things instead of award the insulter by being hurt or lashing back!

Answer 7

Teach them not to lower their standers and to just walk away. Ignore them they are low class and have not been tought well. If they hit or continue to harass your child press charges on the parents.

Answer 8

when I was a kid, I would play in my mind, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me, stress to your child, they are only words, not the truth.

Answer 9

Sit down with them and discuss being insulted and how to
deal with it...
Simple but it works..
So simple it is often ignored..

Answer 10

don't know, my kids don't play well with others lol