My mother never visited me in the hospital but she did for my sister, would you be offended if you were me?

Question

I have had 4 children (we live in the same town, all of us) and my mother never visited me....my sister just had one and she did. We are her only children, she is the oldest. I didn't say anything to her, just to my sister about how i was l sightly offended. Anyway, long story short, my sister told my mother and now she is offended that I am offended! Am i just being a selfish person? would you be offended. I told my mother no comment on the issue when she asked me because i don't want this to be an issue, it is about the celebration of my sister and her child...but I still can't help but feel slighted on this.

Answer 1

You are entitled to feel however you want. She is not right, I'd feel hurt and left out too. Sounds like she is being childish about the situation. The best thing to do would be to speak to her directly and tell her how you feel. Give her a chance to explain and let yourself feel some closure by telling her how you feel. It is definitely an issue because you are still thinking about it and it bothers you.

Answer 2

Yes I would be offended because that is showing favortism. Does your mother not approve of the way you had your children? Not married,other race ect. You should ask your mother why she was not there for you in your time of need when all of you are close together, was it an illness or does she just not approve. Tell her you were hurt by it but you forgive her as long as she is there for her grandchildren. I don't feel that you are being selfish but rather neglected at the times when you needed your mother the most. If you keep it bottled in it will only cause you more stress and its already stressful having 4 kids. just talk to her and let her know that you were hurt by her actions.

Answer 3

You do have the right to feel slighted. I would be offended too. It is very nice of you not to make an issue of it because of your sister's first baby.

Answer 4

Hi,
If this is the only episode of 'favoritism" with your mom- then I'd let it go.

If this is a fact of life- then you already know how you deal with this sort of thing.
Either you suck it up and get along- or you express your entittled feelings to your mom and hope & pray she understands your feelings and takes that into consideration.
Maybe she was seriously busy to visit you? Did she make amends by at least stopping at your home for a nice visit to make sure you were ok after your hospital visit? If so,- I'd let her off the hook.

Answer 5

I would certainly be offended if my mother wouldn't visit me in a time of crisis. It's obvious that your sister is the favourite in your mother's eyes. You have to sit down with her and let her know that her behaviour is affecting you and your children.

Answer 6

I would feel slighted. I have two grandchildren by two daughters. The second grandchild's birth was just as important as the first one's. I can't imagine why your mother didn't visit you. The two of you should discuss this. It doesn't have to be an argument, but you both should share your feelings over it.

Answer 7

I would be offended to but maybe there is a reason why your mother didn't come see you and you should try to figure out why I am sure she is not trying to hurt you just sit down and talk to her

Answer 8

I think your mother like your sister more you but is not a big deal it does happen but she shouldn't have shown it to you .I suggest you stay away from your mother for some while so that she can release what she did.

Answer 9

it seems like the big sis is getting all the attention u need to speak up she is ur mother just talk to her and tell her how u feel

Answer 10

Yea if I were you my feelings would be hurt. You should really talk to you r mother about it. Get it all out how you feel.