Feeling bad about casual sex.?

Question

I met a guy that I really like alot. He's got a great job, a great work ethic, and he's very cute and family oriented. Only problem is he's not ready for a girlfriend, which he told me AFTER we had sex. The problem is I really like this guy and want to date him but he only calls when he's in the mood. I end up being weak and giving in but I feel so bad about things the next day. I've tried telling him no but he's so persistant. I often ignore his calls and txt msgs, but he always finds a way of reeling me in. I really want to be strong enough to say no to this casual relationship, b/c if he's not in the market for something more I should move on, right? Or should I just get some while the gettings good?? I have torn feelings. Anyone else ever been in this situation? HELP!

Answer 1

R you looking for a relationship? If you are than you should just move on, but if you just want someone to pass the time with than hey play his game and give him a call when you feel you are in the mood. There's nothing wrong with having a f*ck-buddy.

Answer 2

You can't look into this to much b/c he already told you he wasn't ready for a g/f. There's two ways you can deal with this: First choice, if your not confortorable being a booty call then tell him "sorry I can no longer continue this, bye" then change your number. Choice no. 2, if you decide to contuinue this and look at this as having some fun and not going to take this serious then there is one rule, DO NOT get feeling for this person b/c you will get hurt. Just remind yourself what he is to you and what you are to him and take this person as a booty call also and tell him up front. When he calls you DO NOT run to his every request, tell him at times, "hey I am going out maybe I'll go over later". If you run to him everytime he will get his male ego up. So if he wants you then let him chase you alittle or let him wait w/o him knowing. And as time goes on he may accumulate feeling for you or he may not. I was in a simular situation, and that what I took it as but as time went on for about two month he would ask where I am going and who was calling me, if it was a male he would get upset even when it was only a friend. Then he would ask me not to go out or don't answer the call. Then one day, told me he had feelings for me and wanted to only be him and I, only. I knew he's feelings had grow for me but I pretend i didn't know. Now it's been 11 months and we are going to celebrating our 1 year anniversary next month. I wish you the best and hope everything works out.

Answer 3

If the majority of your brain is telling you something wrong, honey, get out of that and move on. If you're not comfortable with it, don't try to tell yourself that you are just to keep him in your life. He's persistent because he knows you will eventually give in. Next time, DON'T. Push him away and tell him firmly "I said no". Simply tell him, "look, I've enjoyed our time together, but I want more than this." Then hold your head up high and walk away. You aren't going to change him. He'll only get into a relationship when HE'S ready and not before and you'll only end up with a broken heart.

Move on, sweetie. There's a guy out there who will adore you simply for who you are...not what you can give him. :)

Answer 4

Do yourself a favor and just be honest with him. Tell him that you aren't into casual sex, and if nothing will ever come out of it, then you don't want to just be wasting your time. If he responds coldly then you have your answer and he really wouldn't be worth a second thought any how. If he answers that he's just not ready for a commitment then you have the choice of sticking around and waiting til he is.
Honestly, if half of the ppl with questions on here would just communicate their feelings, they would have no questions. Communication is key!

Answer 5

The only way that your going to be comfortable to "get some while the getting is good" is if that is what you want too and it sounds like that's not what you want. I've been there and it sucks but you have to be strong and walk away, tell him to leave you alone and go about your life. This does not happen to everyone but my guy came back after a year.

Answer 6

Don't let him use you at his whim. You are not a piece of meat. You are fooling yourself if you think that he will suddenly decide that his "cut buddy" should be his GF. He doesn't respect you and he won't as long as you allow him to sex you up whenever he feels like it without investing any time, effort and/or feelings. He will only hurt you in the end. He will kick you to the curb when he gets a new piece of a**. Ditch him now. You can't take away past actions but you can stop it now!

Answer 7

I've been there, and like you, I gave in and went over whenever he wanted any. However, after awhile I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgusting and pathetic. You need to remember that you are in control. If you don't want to give in, you don't have to. It is perfectly acceptable to say no. As for really liking him, do you really want to get serious with a guy that could treat you like this? You deserve more, and it's ok to wait for the right guy to come along who treats you well. No one can tell you what to do, thats a decision you need to make on your own. Just make sure that whatever you do will allow you to respect yourself in the morning.

Answer 8

In my opinion, he's just using you for sex. You need to be firm. Do whatever you can to block him out. Block him from your cellphone, don't answer his calls, delete him from any of your contacts. He is taking advantage of you and you don't deserve it. Any guy can be nice on the surface, but it seems to me that he just wants the sex without the strings attached. Don't let him persuade you, either. Just tell him no, you don't want to be in such a casual relationship and stand firm. Ultimately, it's up to you how things work out. You will find someone a lot better, trust me. Good luck, hun.

Answer 9

You really need to talk to him. Next time he calls you for sex, try talking about relationship stuff and whatnot. If he knows that's on your mind, he might not be so turned on. Let him know that he is using you and this is not what you want. If he really is a good as he seems, he will sense something and hopefully find a better way to do this. Good luck.

Answer 10

He's not finding a way to "reel you in"--you're giving it to him. Either decide you really like the sex, tell him you'll be his play buddy and only be with him when it's convenient for YOU.....or ditch him. The fact that he didn't tell you the bit about not wanting a girlfriend 'till AFTER sex says he's a heel anyway....not worth all this agonizing over.