i had my baby at age 16. my parents shout on me all day?

Question

my mummy thinks i'm the worst child in the neighbourhood and whatever i do irritates. pls how can i handle this?

Answer 1

Though I can't relate, I'm 16 and my parents won't stop getting off my back, and I didn't even have a baby. So i can imagine how you feel. It's always hard when pregnancy happens at this age. If you kept your baby, you should try to finish your education and continue on to college, if you're not already in it, and get a job. You can find schools that are made up of teen mothers like you, so you can feel at ease. Also, no matter how your parents think of you now, look at life in a new angle and start fresh; try helping your mom at home, make new friends, and update your social life like every teen needs, but gain your parents' trust and learn from your mistakes. Everyone meets a road bump in life once in a while, so you're not alone. Show your parents' you've gone past that time in your life and you're ready to move on. Don't give up on them; family will always be there for you. No matter what they say right now, your parents will always have a place in their heart for you. And no matter what happens, never lose faith in yourself :)

Answer 2

that doesn't sound like a healthy environment for your baby, either.
it is hard to answer without knowing the specifics of what you are doing to irritate, and whether or not you really need to do some changing.
Is there anywhere you can get some counceling or join a support group for other young mothers? You may be able to find some commeraderie and help each other out. It may be good to find good places to go to get out of the house more often.
Maybe there is even counceling available for your whole family, including your parents.
Your mom might be harboring a lot of hostility about having to help raise a baby. She may be having a hard time of her own. You can see how hard it is to have a newborn. Well, raising a child doesn't get any easier. Now that you were almost grown, having another child she feels she needs to raise may be causing your mom a lot of stress.
I'm sure some calm discussions and open conversations with your mom will help. Try to initiate one of these when things are calm, not in the heat of an outburst.
Think about some ways you can really help make things run smoothly around your house.
Make a plan for the next five years, one which incorporates your child into your life and yet doesn't lose sight of some of your goals before you were a mother.
You are in a tough position, no doubt. Try to find kind, supportive people to help you. Think about various community groups, church groups, etc. that will have a positive influence on you and your baby.
I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

There is alot of 1-800 #s that lend a hand and hear you out.Your school counselors may have local #s for places to get help.If you are not in school,call any school and ask.There is also the Human Resources Offices,look it up on the Internet and give them a call.You may want to start some communication with your mom, it would help.If she is not understanding than move on,call these places someone will help you.Women's shelters,stop relax and think,you are now a mother too and you need to get yourself and your child ahead.Don't listen to some of these cruel responses that you have gotten.Think maturely that you now have to become.Leave the past in the past.The best of luck and I hope you create a better environment for your child and when you do your mom will see what a good daughter you really are.

Answer 4

Getting your parents, or anyone else, to respect you is going to take a lot of work. A consistent dedicated effort is the only way to change someone's perception of you.

So, if you want to get your parents off your back you're going to have to show them you can handle the adult responsibility you've taken on by having a child. How you go about that depends on your situation, but you need to focus on your child and your career, because children are expensive.

I assume you're in school, but consider taking a course on parenting in night school, or try to find a support group for young parents.

If someone else is raising your child (be it for the moment, or indefinitely) then concentrate on your career. First, redouble your efforts at school. Nothing says I'm a responsible young person with my eye on the future like good grades. Second, consider getting a part time job or apprenticeship that will set you up for future success. However, you must weigh carefully whether or not such a pursuit will interfere with your studies.

All that said, you need to take a close look at your personal life and at how you got into this situation in the first place. Are you drinking and/or doing drugs? Are your friends? Are you practicing safer sex - not just using birth control, but limiting your number of partners and discussing safe sex with them beforehand?

In short, your parents think you're a loser. Before you get defensive, ask yourself, "Am I a loser? Am I doing something irresponsible that makes people feel this way?" Remember you can't change your parents perception of your behavior, but you *can* change your behavior.

Answer 5

You rushed to become an adult now you have to put you and your baby's well being first. You may want to consider moving out-but be responsible for rent, clothing, utilities insurance and food.If you think you can handle all of that without becoming so overwhelmed that you take it out on an innocent baby then it may be time to leave. In the meantime your parents reaction is one of frustration because you have placed an obsticle in front of your future.But point out to them that all human beings make mistakes that even GOD forgives them for. Ask for some forgiveness from them. This was a hard lesseon to learn but you must know now to listen to your parents you are still just a child.Whwer is the father and will he share in the responcbility or has he just got what he wanted and is now ackting like a jerk?

Answer 6

All parents want the best for their children. Your parents are hurt and maybe feeling ashamed. The good thing is that they did not abandon you and your child. How was your relationship with your parents before you became pregnant? The best thing you can do is to sit down with your parents and express you thankfulness for their support. I know that it is hard for a 16 year old to raise a child. The best you can do is to show your parents that you love them and that your are trying to be a responsible parent. Are you finishing school? Try to improve yourself, you now have a responsibility to your child. Is the father of the child in the picture?
Is there a family member that you can talk to (brother,aunt,uncle)? Seek help from your church, or trusted friend. You will have to earn your parents trust again.Explain to your parents that you have made a mistake but that you love them an your child and want to everything possible to show this love.

Answer 7

You made a mistake, but now you have a child to raise. You unfortunately will not have a childhood anymore. You have to be responsible for this beautiful little life you brought into the world. You could take a child care class, finish your education so you will be a good example to the child. And help your mother around the house as much as possible. Take your mothers advise when she gives it. You are young and have much to learn. I hope you realize how very much you life has changed and how difficult it will be from here on out. You are not the child anymore you are now the parent. Step up and be responsible. Good luck!

Answer 8

You've got a responsibility now. You're going to have to make decisions for two!

Some of the things to consider:

Your Parents
They are obviously upset about something. Maybe you should try to talk sensibly with them (both you and them talking sensibly) and work out what is wrong so you guys can fix the problem

Your Child
You might not want this baby to be growing up in such a threatening environment, learning that the way to deal with problems is to shout at them. You might seriously consider moving out. Are there any adolescent help lines you can phone (or otherwise contact)?

Answer 9

Does your "mummy" shout at you because you had a child at age 16 or does she shout at you because you are not caring for your child properly? It's hard to answer your question without more details.

My advice, check out web sites or go to planned parenthood to get information on being a good parent. Maybe you can see why your "Mummy" is shouting at you AND maybe you learn how to be the best parent for your child. Good luck!

Answer 10

So are you STILL 16? Did you keep the baby or give it up for adoption?

If you're over the age of 18, you can move out on your own (get social assistance if you need to). Your mother shouldn't be hollering at you all the time - but she may just be disappointed for what you've thrown away by having a baby so young. She's going to need to come to grips with the fact that she's a very young grandmother...and believe me, that seriously p!sses parents off!

In the mean time, you need to look out for yourself and your baby. Try to go back to school and finish your education. Get a job if you can to help support yourself and your baby. And stay out of her way as much as possible. She'll eventually settle down. Try to be as helpful as you can.