Disciplining for accidental obscenities - could it backfire?

Question

Please bear in mind that I am thinking only about accidental obscenities. For example, when playing "the Name Game" with someone named "Chuck" (y'know, banana fana fo-...).

What's the best course of action in such a situation? If the child is not *aware* that she said a naughty word, how grave is the risk that calling attention to the fact will encourage her to repeat the word in the future?

I mean, if she were to start using obscenities in context, where it's clear she heard someone else saying it and is parroting them, I'd have to step in on that. But telling her "don't sing that song using the name Chuck" just seems like it would be inviting trouble, because then she'd want to know why. Wouldn't it be better in such a case to shrug it off and just try to distract her away from that name when singing that song in the future?

(Note: This isn't actually an issue yet. I just watched the "South Park" movie again last night and had this come to mind.)

Answer 1

I still think the best way of dealing with a kid saying obsceneties is not
to punish her, but rather to make her aware of how stupid it makes her
sound.

That is, when you use an obscenity where it isn't warranted, it makes you
sound ... uh ... like a kid.

"That's not how you use it, dear..."
"We only use that word when something really bad has happened.
That's not bad enough..."

Yes, kids like getting a rise out of adults, but they also want to learn.
If you don't over-react, but simply re-direct, you end up with much better
results.

True, they will swear. However, they will at least do it at the right time!

Answer 2

Obviously in a case like this, the obscenity was not intended as such, but making the child aware that it is not an acceptable word is probably a good idea. You don't have to make a big deal over it and upset the child, just educate him/her.

Answer 3

If the child says a bad word when meaning to say something close just ignore the fact that it was a swear word and say " honey can you say CHUCK?" that way the kid says it correctly and you haven't made an issue on a word that you don't like and the kid wont pick up on that and try to do it again to get your attention.

Answer 4

I think that while they're playing the "name game" and they were caught unaware, they should be issued a punishment within the rules of the game, like say, minus 10 points or whatever. It's a fun way to learn not to say profanity at that age and it won't backfire psychologically later on in life.

Answer 5

I think ignoring it would be the best course of action. Sometimes it is worse to make a big deal out of something like this.

Answer 6

I've always believed that no one knows children better than their own parents. If you think about it ,you probably know whether bringing it up is the thing to do. Personally, I would let it go this one time since it's not an everyday thing.

Answer 7

If it was an accident don't make a big deal out of it or they will know that it upsets you and they will do it over and over, and then it will be a problem. Just let it go, unless they are doing it on purpose

Answer 8

in all honesty, the more you make a fuss about it the worst it will be.... it is not the words that are bad... it's the meaning... if his words are meant to harm then it's bad, but if it is accidental, don't even acknowledge. he'll learn he doesn't get attention for it and drop it

Answer 9

I think in that instance it's okay to shrug it off if you are not in public. When they are very young if they see that it upsets you they are more likely to repeat it.

Answer 10

Interesting...you should be upfront with your child and let him, her know what swear words are and that it is wrong to use them.