I have been with my b/f on and off for 9 years and past events have made me lose trust in him. I have just started to gain it back and on the weekend we went out with friends. As I was standing on the road I saw him walk past a girl and slap her on the bottom (he didn't realise I could see that) - He was also sober at the time and alone. When I confronted him about it he initially denied it but then apologised. Why would he do that? Do you think he can't be trusted?
2006-08-07 04:37:27 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am sure he is doing more then that when he thinks your not looking. Be very cautious and think about someone new in your life
2006-08-07 04:41:13 · answer #1 · answered by dmxdragon2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In short, no i don't think he can be trusted. Not only is he being disrespectful to women in general but he is being disgustingly disrespectful to you. Ok... so he didn't realise that you saw but if he can do something like that when he's out with you, imagine what he's doing when he's out on his own. Sober or not sober has nothing to do with it.
I had a friend in your position. She was with her boyfriend for 7 years, they had a house and a mortgage etc. But after a period of time, little things started making her loose trust in him. For example, he once told her he was at a friends house but his friend hadn't seen him all evening, she found text messages on his phone from strange girls. He of course denied anything was going on, apologised and said he'd change. Which he did. Then she found more text messages and discovered he'd been cheating on her for at least a year and a half.
Looking back, she said she was in denial about it and gave him to many chances. She loved him and didn't want to accept the truth. I'm being a bit presumptuous here but I imagine this is how you feel too. Forgiving him and making up excuses for him is easier than accepting whats going on. My friend wishes she'd finished with her man ages ago and she's never been happier because she's not constantly worrying anymore. I advise you do the same. You know the truth deep down.
2006-08-07 04:51:36 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there's no way you should put up with him doing that, so you were right to confront him. Honestly, it sounds a little fishy to me that he denied it and then apologized. Classic way of dealing with guilt. You need to him know that you won't tolerate any of that. Try and give him the message that his eyes can wander, as is natural, but you don't want his heart, and especially not his hands, following through with it.
You guys might even need a bit of a break. In longstanding relationships like that, it's natural for things to sometimes get a little stale, and if he's to the point where he's doing that to other girls, I'd consider either telling him your feelings and taking a break from the relationship for a while, or breaking it off altogether. Good luck hun.
2006-08-07 04:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by nintendofreak91788 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same type of relationship for 13 years now and i am here to tell you that gaining the trust back for him will never work you will always feel like he is going to hurt you again and you are probably right. So I say if you don't have any children leave before you do have children and you can't. You will fall in love with someone else just don't wait to long because if you do you will be setting your self up for more heart break.
2006-08-07 04:46:14 · answer #4 · answered by todayillsee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No way, to slap someone like that needs both people to know each other well, particularly well. Think about it, On and Off - there is a reason behind this and you should know, leave and find someone who will be on all the time and not off.
2006-08-07 05:02:12 · answer #5 · answered by jc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For a grown man to slap some strange girl's bum in this day and age is so completely out of order that you should have dumped him there and then. It's obvious he has no respect for women, especially you. This guy's a total loser and you're a loser if you put up with it. Good Luck.
2006-08-07 05:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by dundeeguitarman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really need to ask?? Its hard to leave him because you've toghether for so lond but obviously he doesnt feel the same way. Hes messing you about and you are letting him do it. I mean come on dint you think you deserve better someone that respects you. Ditch Him im sure your friends have said the same. Hes making a fool out of you and probably laughing behind your back. Time to wake up!!!!!!!!!!
2006-08-07 04:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by Emiliana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think a relationship is a big thing and its worth doing anyhting u can to save it.but if u think you don't trust him an dthen maybe you realy don't trust him an dthink about it and see if its the right thing to do.jus try to give it another chance cuz i know u don't want to waste all the 9 ys your've been together.goodluck and i hope u work it out.
2006-08-07 04:46:02 · answer #8 · answered by ♥♥♣BABY GIRL♥♥♣ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's not the one for you. He's a liar and a cheater and you deserve better. Seriously. There's nothing in this relationship for you except pain. He's very insecure and will try to convince you that he loves you, but he just want to keep hurting you. Don't fall for his trap. Get hiim out and don't listen to a word that he says. Hope I could help.
2006-08-07 04:43:14 · answer #9 · answered by Dope boy magic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He probably can't be trusted. I don't say this to hurt you, but I have been there too.
There is a chance he may be completely faithful but a real flirt, but it doesn't sound like it.
If you want to, try giving him another chance, but tell him this is his last chance. It will be a good test.
Good luck.
2006-08-07 04:43:52 · answer #10 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would n't be asking if you knew you could trust him so get rid huni you can do better better to end after 9 years than 19 years belivev me
2006-08-07 04:41:34 · answer #11 · answered by rosa_govan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋