We live together and he basically maintains me. Things are not the same and he says he just payed for one but never had sex with her because he was too drugged. What advice can I get? Please I'm desperate.
2006-08-07 04:29:58 · 19 answers · asked by Jersey Girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
wow, he's a creep and he knows that he holds all the cards!
can you get a job after the baby is born, that way you can show more independence.
at this point talking to him might be a moot point since he came out and told you what he's done.
make him work for you and his family, can you move in with someone else for awhile.
2006-08-07 04:38:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT!!! Children need fathers???? give me a break!
This guy is a jerk not a father!!!!
#1 he cheated...once a cheater always a cheater... and even if a guy stops cheating you will never trust him for the rest of your life. 10 years from now when he is an hour late coming home from work... do you really want to sit there thinking... "I wonder if he is out doing someone else"
#2 Honey...do you have family?? friends?? anyone you can turn to? Staying with a man for money reasons is NOT A GOOD REASON!! I am sure there is someone in your life who would help you out until you got back on your feet.
#3 you will only be hurting your children by staying in a love-less relationship...you are just going to fight and be miserable and in turn the children will be unhappy to.
#4 he may have an STD now....if not from her from some other chic he has boned.
#5 drugged? good god woman! get out! he is worthless!!
good luck girl! its hard but you gotta think about your kids and yourself...this is your life. OWN IT!
2006-08-07 11:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he maintains you. If this means he pays for everything then you are pretty much at his mercy. If you are not in love with him and/or are willing to leave him but do not do so for financial reasons here is what you should do. Quietly make moves that will help you become self sufficient. Save enough money to move. Get a decent job, quietly, this can easily be done since we now have cell phones. Then one day when he goes to work move out. File an order of protection if needed and definitely file for child support. The important thing is not caving in. You must stick to this plan, do not falter. He will come begging and you must not accept him back. This of course is only if you want to leave him. If you don't want to leave him try to work it out, counseling, whatever.
2006-08-07 11:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, do you really need to be with someone who is too drugged to do anything? That should have been the first warning sign. Drugs are bad news. Secondly,the money spent paying for an escort should have been used to care for his family.He should grow up. Get away from this guy fast.
2006-08-07 11:39:40 · answer #4 · answered by Pamela S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's completely up to you. If you're not working and insist on having someone take care of you, then keep him around. But don't expect him to LOVE you or anything. If he's paying for 'whatever,' what makes you think he won't do it again? It matters not if he was on drugs or not, all the more reason you don't need this man around your kids. Ultimately, you have to weigh out the pros and cons of the relationship and decide what's best for you and those children.
2006-08-07 11:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by Shining Ray of Light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to stop depending on him...Looks like you need some validation so here it is...You need to leave his *** alone because is he is still doing it, that means he never stopped and I hope that you haven't contracted anything sexually transmitted but continuing allowing him to do what he does...That's your fault. Should have tossed him out. The only thing you can do now is improve yourself and move out..if you have some family start there until you get on your feet and start thinking about you and your kids instead of about a man that doesn't have one ounce of respect for you or himself. Think about that. Would I rather be alone and happy or putting up with drama that will probably never end?
I wish you luck
2006-08-07 11:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by SAMMIE K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of him you have too much in your life to deal with him right now. Take him to court and get court ordered child support from him, also take evidence to court with you to prove he has a drug problem and request the the court to refuse him any visitation except for supervised and only after a drug test and he is to pay all of that, and then ask for a stay away order.
2006-08-07 11:39:47 · answer #7 · answered by big T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mr. Chivalry says, "The most important person right now is the baby. When you can assure that the baby can a good future with you alone, leave him. You can do better. If he says he paid for it, but didn't do it, ask why he paid for it. Does he not care for you? Do you not please him like he wants it? He is not telling you these things if one of them is correct. Try to get to the bottom of the issue. If you want him to be in your life, get him to communicate. If not, find a good job to take care of you and your baby, get child support and move on."
Mr. Chivalry has spoken.
2006-08-07 11:42:39 · answer #8 · answered by L Jeezy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Stop having babies with a druggie!
2. End the relationship.
3. Get counseling for yourself to rebuild your self-esteem and self-respect.
4. Grow up and start taking responsibility for your own maintenance and the welfare of your children.
2006-08-07 11:34:23 · answer #9 · answered by kja63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you forgive him? Can you let it go and never throw it in his face again? If no leave and start over and learn to be independent before getting in another relationship. If Yes then tell him you forgive him and that a second time won't be as easy.
2006-08-07 11:36:08 · answer #10 · answered by M T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋