he doesnt want to improve with his personal hygiene Im not sure we should marry?

Question

hes in his late 50;s he doesnt care about the way he dresses he looks homeless at times,he comes out in public and his behind shows along with his big belly im embaressed to be seen with him so is my son anymore hes very kind and very good to us we are engaged if i feel this way then perhaps hes not the one hes says hell change but never does when we go to chruch he looks nice he doesnt think about how i feel when i see him i dont feel attracted to him anymore we have had this converstaion many times i know he wont change if we got married im tired im too old for this he also doesnt make much money he cant keep a job either for our future and hes refianced his house 3 times help

Thank you all for the advice I know what needs to be done .the answer was in my face all along and I will move on thanks again everyone.sisterhood unite

Answer 1

try couples therapy if he refuses then leave him because its possible he is acting this way as a defensive mechainism because he doesn't want to commit and make sacrafices. Marriage is about love and understanding as well as making personal sacrifices for each other. If he can't or won't do that then maybe he doesn't want to marry u but doesn't have the heart to tell u!!

Good Luck!

Answer 2

So it's more than just his personal hygiene since you mentioned that he doesn't make enough money and has a hard time keeping a job. If you're unhappy with all these things now being engagaed to this man then I can't imagine things will change after you get married. You can't change a person especially if you say that he's older. He's more or less established in his ways. You can only tell him what bothers you and getting married to him isn't going to work. Don't get married if you're unhappy, it's not worth it! Good Luck!

Answer 3

First of all, he has to want to change for himself. No change will be lasting if someone makes it to please someone else. And second, if he keeps saying he'll change, but doesn't, what makes you think he'll change when you get married? Why shouldn't he change now? As for the money troubles- RUN! And run now, before he gets you all tangled up in them as well. Your being married won't change a thing, and it won't be long before you'll be looking like a homeless person, too. I'm sorry to sound so harsh, but I'm in my early twenties and this sounds like a catastrophe waiting to happen. Don't waste your time with this guy any longer. Sure, you may feel guilty about the time you have spent, but life goes on and you need to start redeeming your time, for you and your son's sake. Best wishes to you.

Answer 4

Why are you wasting your time with this loser? Don't you think you deserve any better? No way he'll change.....
Why do women think they can find a guy who pays attention to them, get to know them, then change them into what they wat them to be? It's like buying expensive shoes that are several sizes too small, hoping that they will fit some day.....That's dumb.
He obviously seems to have a problem with responsibility. Do you think that will change? Do you think you can "fix" him? Newsflash: YOU CAN"T!
Also, do you think you can "manufacture" chemistry? You can't.
Best advice, end this relationship. Spend your time around someone who cares about themself more, and cares about you....someone who is more responsible.