her and i do not get along that well, even though she introduced me and my fiance. we used to be really close and i realized the "real" person she is. bask stabber, cheating wife. i need suggestions on whether or not i should have her in my wedding? please help
2006-08-07 04:15:55 · 19 answers · asked by lsmith1415 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
No you don't have to have her in you're wedding its you're day and you can have whom ever you want in you're wedding. good luck
2006-08-07 04:21:26 · answer #1 · answered by Angel sent from heaven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are worried about causing a problem in the family if you don't include her, make her the guestbook attendant or let her read a short poem. Or assign her the duty of giving a short toast about introducing the two of you at the reception. I know from experience what problems arrise when you don't include someone and if she is as bad as you say she is (probably worse since you have yet to discover all the bad stuff she's done) she could make your life horrible with the family. And everyone would defend poor "insert her name here" because her feelings were hurt because she wasn't included in your wedding. To save yourself the grief, include her so at least your hubbys family can say, well she did include her in some special way. This way you still look like the nice daughter-in-law. Then, pray they get divorced so you can stop associating with her altogether.
2006-08-07 11:31:47 · answer #2 · answered by BeeBee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you can put whoever you want in the wedding party. Even if your fiance's brother is a part of the wedding party, it doesn't mean his wife has to be. Plus, I'm sure you have your own family members and friends that you're a lot closer to that would be better to stand up there with you.
2006-08-07 11:23:24 · answer #3 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Suck it up and give her something to do. It doesn't have to be a big job, but you had better include her. I had to ask my sister's boyfriend to do something for our wedding, even though I disapproved of the relationship. It saves a lot of bigger hassles later. Fortunately in my case, my sister broke up with the boyfriend and he decided that he would back out of the wedding and he would not attend. It may not work out like that in your case, but it's going to be better than making people take sides on an argument about your wedding. Ask her to do something that will disrupt your day the least. Some small token job that will not put her as a thorn in your flesh all day long.
She may refuse. Then you're off the hook.
Another idea is including your fiance's brother. You don't always have to include BOTH partners, but as long as one of them is included, it's sort of like including their whole family by proxy.
It won't be a basket of roses, but just think of it as trying to cause the least harm and hurt all around. You'll get through it. Your marriage is what really counts.
2006-08-07 11:26:53 · answer #4 · answered by Quicksilver 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she does not have to be in your wedding. That is you and your fiance's day.
She can be a guest. Whether she is in the wedding or not, she is still going to gossip and be a back stabber, so leave her out of it.
Best wishes on your wedding.
2006-08-07 12:25:36 · answer #5 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, this is Your day, no one else. If you feel it would be necessary to include her, put her in charge of keeping the little ones in line, as in, flower girls, ring bearers, etc.....
If she didn't ask, or even hint at it, then don't worry about it.
My brother In-Laws girlfriend was so rude as to beg me to put her in my wedding, I couldn't believe the nerve... So I politely turned her down and informed her that we already had our wedding party decided and were not going to make any more changes. She was upset, but later apologized for putting me in that position
Just stick to your guns & do what you feel is right.
2006-08-07 11:47:30 · answer #6 · answered by Torri * 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I first seen this title I had to laugh because my fiance's brother wife is my sister!! I'm NOT CLOSE to my side of the family anymore(its a long story). I'm NOT Inviting anyone on My side except for my dad! You can do what you want, its YOUR DAY!! If you think its going to cause problems then by all means don't invite her. That's why I didn't invite ANYONE!! I don't want it ruined by other people!!
2006-08-07 11:41:58 · answer #7 · answered by motherofbjz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It'd be easier to get away with if you have a small wedding party. If you just have a maid of honor and a best man, you pick your closest friend. If you're having a larger party, you may have to include her to keep the peace.
2006-08-07 11:23:11 · answer #8 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not really unless they are married by the time of the wedding cuz if they are married it will look like a snub but if they aren't it was a accident.
2006-08-07 22:04:00 · answer #9 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. Its your wedding. Are you kidding? You have to watch the tape over and over and see the pictures. Do what ever you want. Who ever don't like it oh well.
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2006-08-07 13:31:34 · answer #10 · answered by intriguedtravel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have absolutely no obligation to have her be an official part of the ceremony. i was able to find a couple small easy ways for my sil to be necessary, but not in the way and it all worked out great. you could find something unofficial but "crucial" that she can do in the background. or just leave her out of it and let her be family sitting in crowd (with a secret desire for her to drop off the face of the earth before your big day).
2006-08-07 17:12:09 · answer #11 · answered by erika w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋