How would you react if you discovered that you were not the father of your child?

Question

I don't mean taking a DNA as soon as he or she is born; I mean after 5 or so years, after you have been accustomed to being the father.

Oh, it's not me, lol. I have seen this happen, though

Answer 1

I would not change my relationship with my child over it. I would confront your girlfriend or wife and let her know how you feel. There are many situations like this. It happens and you can be mad at the child's mom but please do not abandon your child. That is the kind of thing that can really screw a kid up. No matter whose DNA the kid has, he or she has your heart and the good things that you have taught them and all the love you have given them. You are in a difficult situation. You are an adult. You can handle it. Your kid can't.

Answer 2

Well pissed off at the mother of course not to mention heart broken disappointed and confused. You have already spent so much time with this child who by the way never lied to you. You have formed a bond and have a relationship. Biology does not make you more of a parent than loving and caring for someone does. Since you have been there middle of the night, illnesses, special occasions and so on you are the parent and nothing changes that even the truth of biology. My friend still takes all four kids and 3 are not his but he is the only father 3 have ever known. He treats them all the same because he loves them you can do the same. As for mom that is your decision, not sure you could or would want to stay with someone who lied to you. Counseling would be needed for that

Answer 3

I think the obvious reaction is to be hurt. Without knowing the details of the situation, I think it's hard to know exactly how I would act. I would want to know why it took so long for me to find out and I would definitley want to know if the mother of the child was "trapping" me. After five years I would still love the child very much and I would hope that I could still be a part of the child's life. The child should not have to suffer. I would also hope that the child's mother would try to get in contact with the real father so that the child could know him too. That's only fair.

Answer 4

Hey I don't know man I will be so angry and that is the understatement of the century.I should have been told from the beginning.There is no excuse for someone to do something like that. I should have been given the right for me to choose weather I can live with that or not.Being deceived like that would really hurt and confuse me.I would still love the child and be there for the child but the relationship between the mother and I will be over.That is my first response but according to the relationship that I have with the mother I may also forgive her and move on.It depends on the love that I have for her and If I can go on with out holding anything in my heart against her.It just depends on so many factors.

Answer 5

you keep raising the child as if the child were your own. You have 5 years invested in that child and that child sees you as dad. You don't quit on that child. This is no fault of the child.

now, the relationship with the mother is a different question. Only the husband can answer the question if he can forgive whether it was a one time infidelity or if it was more than once and if it is ongoing or been over for years. Certainly, trust is a thing that would have to be re-earned with the wife.

Answer 6

I would probably take some time to think about it but ultimately I would keep fathering the child as if he/she was my own. Youa re the father figure that the child knows and if anything were to change, the child would practically have his/her life turned upside down. He/she would start to ask questions like where her real father is and how come he didn't stick around and so many questions that could potentially scar the child. I have seen it in my step-family.

Answer 7

I think at that point It would be a matter of one's personal ethics. You would have to decide what was more important a piece of paper saying you were the father or the bond that you had with that child. If I truly loved that child and I knew I was the best "father figure" or only "father" this child had ever known my goals wouldn't change. If possible I would continue to raise this child and love him/her no matter what the circumstances.

Answer 8

I would be upset the mother lied to me, but nothing would change besides that. Having been the only father the child has known all their life, why punish them? Unless, of course, the real father wants to come into the picture. Then I would have to slowly back out of the picture, but not completely out.

Answer 9

Well if you have already been in the childs life for 5 years, I think you probably have already come to love this child, the child already would know you as the father, so I hope it would not make a difference.

Answer 10

I might take longer time to accept this truth. It's the kind of feeling that you get when you got up from sleep everyday and first thing waking up to remember, is this fact again, and for that spilt moment, you are still wondering if you are still in the dream, and how impossible it could be.

I will try to force myself to work out logically though, that it is no fault of the child, and he did not make that happen. As to the child, you are still his/her father, it will make no difference at that point of time.