Should you spank (not beat) your kids?

Question

Spank or not to spank does it really make a diference in the way your kids deal with the world and his or her success or failures?

Answer 1

Yes, You should find what works best for your child

Answer 2

Spankings (many at once) aren't effective. While they may be a punishment simply because they cause pain... I wouldn't say they were effective. I would suggest giving a swat on child's butt if the child is not listening to you when you tell them to stop something. The purpose of the swat is to get their attention. We all know that kids often stop listening to you when they get their attention on something else. A hard swat (through clothes) will knock some sense into them. Punish them with non-violent alternatives.

Grounding, extra chores, writing things over and over again (Yes, I'm old school). Grounding for major offenses, should never be alone. If the offense is big enough to be grounded for more than the day, then I assign chores, and writing assignments to go with the grounding. My parents also required that I read while I was grounded. If i didn't read the book, then I wasn't going to get "ungrounded". As a result, I had a far easier time in school compared to many other children.

I also was spanked, and I quickly learned to resent my parents. Later the spankings became beatings from my father... and eventually I settled the score with my father. I haven't spoken but a few words to him since then (8 years).

Spankings are the "gateway" punishment for serious issues. Be careful when choosing to spank a child. It can become a nasty habit for the parent to resort to physical abuse.

Answer 3

Every child is different. If you've ever watched Super Nanny, which I think every parent should, you'd see that even the WORST kid can be disciplined without being spanked or hit. I know that there are parents out there though who simply don't have the patience to discipline without hitting, which is a terrible shame. Spanking a child builds resentment on the child's part. They hate you when you hit them. I spanked my daughter, she's now 17 and still reminds me of how hurt (emotionally) she was by me swatting her. I feel terrible about it, I really do. I was a young, dumb mom. I have a toddler now and won't be spanking him.

I think it does make a difference in the way your kids deal with the world and in his successes and failures. If your child is taught to deal with mistakes and bad behavior with a violent act (yes, it is a violent act) they're bound to respond to unpleasantness with violence. I also believe that it's damaging to their self esteem and ego. It's demeaning. My mom and dad hit me because I'm BAD - that's not a good way to think while growing up. It causes psychological damage.

My opinion. If Super Nanny can do it without hitting, so can I ...and you! :)

Answer 4

well, i would like to say that it does affect how your kids deal with life. but I'm not sure about their success or failures. how about their ability to accept an authority besides their own? that is a really hard lesson.

how about the lesson that they can't push and push the line waiting for you to break and prove that they are the boss.

judge me if you will, but the great thing about choosing to spank (not beat) your kids is that: generally speaking- you don't have to do it.

when i added spanking to our discipline regime, i was surprised to see that it was so effective. just knowing it was an option got my kids to behave better, and i practically never spank.

i don't need to because my kids respect my authority, and if they choose not to then they are about to get a rude awakening that will readjust their point of view.

can i just add on a p.s.? if you choose to spank, talk to your kid first so they know why it is happening.

one smack on the bottom is enough, maybe two, but no more.

wait for them to stop crying, talk about it again and then give them really big hugs. explain how much you love them and the importance of being obedient.

if you are angry- do not spank! you have to be the calm one.

Answer 5

i really don't think it makes a difference yes i have spanked my son before and only in the most sever situations but grounding them hurts more than the spanking because a spanking hurts for a minute and then they can go play but groundation they stuck without something they want for a week or 2 and for the record when i did spank my son he was 4 years old wouldn't go to sleep cussed me out started fighting me ran outside in his nightclose talking about he's running away and i did try time out he was to young to be grounded then but the spanking didn't work either lol he still kept on and on and then i called my daddy lol

Answer 6

I rellly don;t see how that can help anyone at all in dealing with anything truthfully, I think it will just make them angry or more afraid if the world etc..
negative punishment is not the solution, don't spank your children or ground them from TV or friends etc..
positive discipline is better, example, push-ups, they will be an exercise as well as a punishment, washing dishes, cleaning the house, running, things that are productive and that will help them more than just sending them to his room and not watching TV etc.. they learn to be lazy and they somehow always find a way to entertain them selves and at times it might make them so angry that you will have an even harder time with them, but if you focus on positive punishment they will always feel better after wards and still learn their lesson, I mean I know cleaning is no fun for a child and push-ups can be hard but I KNOW it work better than time out and hitting...
don't make it easy but make it productive !!
GOOD LUCK !

Answer 7

Children need to know that when they do something wrong, their is always a consequence. If they learn this, they will learn it and practice it for the rest of their lives. I don't believe in "beating", or "hitting" my children- there is definatly a difference from those two opposed to spanking.

Here is how my husband and I spank our children:

answer: out of pure love-
never out of anger,
never with a raised voice.
Firmly, but not to hard.
with consistancy
I spank my children for 3 things, and 3 things only:
1. Lying
2. Disobedience (I mean obeying your voice the 1st time)
3. bad attitudes

If they got these 3 down pat, they will be very well-behaved children. Very pleasant to be around. When one of these 3 things are broken, I get the paddle (wooden spoon usually), and they must touch the bed, and stand still to get their spankings. Usually about 2 or 3 firm ones. Enough to sting. Depends on the crime. I hate lying more than anything, so they might get about 7 of those for lying. Then, after the spanking session is over, I ask them why they got spanked. They must tell me why, or some kind of communiction went wrong. Then they must say they are sorry, and name the thing they got spanked for. Saying "I'm sorry" is not enough. They must say "I'm sorry for _______". Then I give them a hug, love them up, and tickle them or something to keep the communication lines open. never tell them to go to their room after you spanked because they will just think of reasons why that was so unfair, or why they were right, and you were wrong. Yes, spanking must be administered in love. Never spank for accidents, or things like they are just being kids- such as running around, or being loud or things like that (unless you tell them to stop- then that would be disobeying.) I am a mother of three, and have peaple begging me to babysit my kids because they are happy, sweet, enjoyable children. Perfect??? Haaa!!! NOPE!!! But they are enjoyable to be around for the most part. I love them, and spend time with them, read them books on free time.

Hope this helps- and a key word is CONSISTANT- don't spank them for something one day, and let them get away with it tomarrow, or this method won't work. It's not easy, but rewarding.

Answer 8

Skate, Darwin NEVER recounted on his death bed, that was a rumor that was proven false by his own daughter. It was a misquote. http://www.inquiringminds.org/newsletter/0503/darwin.html

But, I believe in spanking when necessary, not for every infraction though and rarely. But if you do the right job from the beginning then you won't have to spank on a regular basis.

Answer 9

The idea behind discipline is TEACHING and NOT punishing. Spanking DOES NOT teach any POSITIVE lessons to kids. It just teaches them that if you are bigger and stronger, it's OK to hit. (And spanking IS a form of hitting.) There are much more respectful ways to parent.

Answer 10

Yes, spanking works when used correctly. Punishments should never be abusive. I only spank on the child's bottom, never the hands, face or anywhere esle.

Answer 11

should your boss spank you when you make a mistake or should someone punch you in the face when you do something stupid in public,well when you hit little kids it has the same affect,a spank feels like a punch to kids,dam what happened to the parents nowadays,dont forget WE ARE THE PARENTS,so step up and be one