is it fair for my children and grandchildren (none are related to him by blood) to spend their holidays with him and his wife. My grown children and my grands used to plan all of our holidays and summer cookouts together.
2006-08-07 03:52:51 · 13 answers · asked by Jacks036 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
no it's not fair. but think. when they were with you it's because they love you. when they're with him. it's because he has a pool
2006-08-07 03:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by MARISSA RAMIREZ 2 · 6⤊ 3⤋
I don't understand what the swimming pool has to do with anything unless that's the only reason you want your kids and grand kids to spend time over there. I don't understand why you would want your kids and grandchildren, especially since they aren't related by blood, to spend time with you ex and his new wife. Unless the two of you had kids together, there's no reason you should still be talking to him period.
2006-08-07 03:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by purpleama456 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they care for him, blood relation isn't as factor. I think the best way to handle the situation is to divide a few holidays--thanksgiving with him, Christmas with you? Of even the less "dynamic" holidays woudl be best spent at his place (4th of July, etc.) Giving the children this small pleasure will keep everyone in good spirits, and healthy relationships could grow because of it.
2006-08-07 03:59:29 · answer #3 · answered by Jonny Doom™ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was in their lives for many years, they may still enjoy his company. If their visits with him bothers you, you should make an effort to explain this to your children. However, don't make them feel guilty for visiting your ex. Ask your children if they can trade off holidays and spend some with him and some with you. Then tell your children which holidays are the most special to you.
2006-08-07 04:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by littlestory 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously your children had a relationship with this man and consider him part of the family and part of their life. Adopted children do not use biology to determine their closeness and neither should you. Maybe you should either try joining in and being civil and adult. Except the fact he will always be part of your children's life you brought him into their life. Just because your marriage did not work out does not mean they had to end their relationship also. Marriage has two sides and children do not play a part in that relationship.
2006-08-07 04:00:46 · answer #5 · answered by M T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your ex-husband raised your kids, then your kids may consider him to be their dad and they should still see him. But if your kids were grown or almost grown when you married him and then you divorced, then they should not really associate with him too much. So the answer depends on which of the two scenarios applies above.
But they shouldn't spend all of their vacation time at ex-step-dad's without coming to visit mom at all. That is rude.
2006-08-07 04:03:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think your kids would be very inconsiderate to do that to you but I dont know what there is for you to do. If it hurts your feelings it might not be bad to let your kids know but if you dont want to stir things up you might just wait things out and it may get old really fast and I wouldnt be surprised if you ex gets tired of it too! Sorry hun, good luck.
2006-08-07 03:58:14 · answer #7 · answered by breeokc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they're not related to him and he didn't adopt them, he doesn't have many "rights" here.
Tell them you'd like them around on July 4, but if they want to visit him on Memorial Day and/or Labor Day you should be cool with it.
Spend those weekends looking for a new husband.
2006-08-07 03:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it fair...? Well do you think it is and do your children and grandchildren want to go or are they being forced? If they want to go, and you dont mind, then yes I think it is fair if they go over there...
2006-08-07 04:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by jecruz@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not fair to you at all.
Maybe your ex will drowned in his pool and your troubles will be over.
2006-08-07 05:19:05 · answer #10 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think so. Why are they still seeing your ex husband. I think that family must stick together and your ex is no longer family.
2006-08-07 03:57:31 · answer #11 · answered by tay_jen1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋