I have 4 great kids and I would like to have just one more child. Why do people think it is a negative thing?

Question

I care for my kids and love them & offer them a good home. They have a good dad, & we have a good marriage. People are just so negative about family size nowadays.....Any opinions?

Answer 1

Well, of course it's your decision to add/not add to your family. It's not so much the "norm" anymore to have larger families.

Many people will "stereotype" parents of larger families (especially mothers). Beliefs can range from: too many people already in the world, and you are adding more; why not adopt and give children already here a good home; you are just "postponing" your own life by concentrating on your childrens'; that you can't think of any other means by which to enrich yourself except by having children.

Other possible thoughts running throught peoples' minds: are the children each being given enough individual love and attention? My husband was one of 5 and he indicates that he didn't feel his mom was able to give each of the kids enough "me" time.

If you can honestly say that you simply adore raising children and want another one to love, and you aren't putting off finding yourself, then go ahead.

Today, many women want to do more than just be moms. They want to get an outside job in which they can "shine," using skills/talents away from home so that when they do come home and concentrate on the children, they have already done something that's separate and meangingful for just themselves.You don't say anything about whether you work outside your home or not. That would also enter into the decision.

Concentrating on being a mom is wonderful, but children do grow and not need as much attention. Learning who you are apart from your role as a mother is important, too, because someday it'll be just you and your husband and you won't want him to fill all your emotional needs; you'll want to have the ability to do that for yourself. We can't find happiness/contentment/satisfaction through others. It has to come from within.

Answer 2

I actually come from a family of five, and while someday I hated it, it really is great. There was always someone to play with and the number of stories I have about the misadventures of my siblings and I are endless! Now that we are all grown up, Im 21 and the youngest, I love my big family even more. There is always someone around to do something, loads of little ones to play with, and all my siblings-in-law are great. There is no place I would rather be on a Sunday afternoon than at home with my big old family.

If you want to have that fifth baby, go for it! Never mind all those naysayers!

Answer 3

I have 3 kids, but I can relate to you. My family thought I was crazy to have more than 2. It seems to be a popular opinion that 2 is the ideal number. I think you should definitly do what feels right for you. Please consider how it will affect the children that you already have. If they are old enough I would discuss it with them. As hard as it is, you just have to not worry about what other people might think and say. It is YOUR family after all.

Answer 4

Well, you know, having more than 4 kids could be challenging, even if you can do it. Some people would rather have just one, which is both immoral and two few children. And some just want to have 2 to 4. Plus the cost, of everything.

Answer 5

We have 4 children, and my husband wants one more. People are so focused on money these days. We are willing to give up things for our children. This is your life. If you want another child then go ahead. Our children are 14,12,2, and 3 months. I may consider one more over the next 2 years, regardless, of nosey, pestering, jealous individuals. I look at the situation this way. The more children I have, perhaps when I am older, one of them will want to keep me in their home. So one out of four, isn't too bad.
Good Luck!

Answer 6

Because the world is overcrowded the way it is now. It's really the reason behind wars, the lack of natural resources, disease and hunger. When you make the decision to overpopulate you affect more than just your family, you affect my children and grand children as well. We should all have the same things and not have to compete with overwhelming odds. Population control is really the only hope mankind has. If we don't do it voluntarily, it will happen violently. Please don't!

Answer 7

If you are the one paying for the kids, taking care of them in every way.....That's your choice have another kid, don't let other people get in your way of YOUR CHOICE.
However if you always leave your kids with someone else or don't have the money for all of their needs...in my opinion you shouldn't have another child.
I have 4 kids and would have loved to have more, but we cannot afford them. My kids don't have everything they want, but they do have all they need and then some.
Good luck in whatever you decide and ultimately I think this should be up to you and your husband ONLY.

Answer 8

I was recently in the same boat as you. I have four between 10 and 5. My husband and I talked about trying again because we only have 1 girl. I'd mentioned this to my brothers girlfriend and she ran to my mom and told on me like i was a child.
Anyway, I just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy (Yes boy) five months ago.
Believe it or not. My family turned out to be really supportive after all was said and done.
I was afraid I was going to be down talked because I got pregnant again, I was wrong.
You do what you want, who knows, your family just might surprise you just like mine did. Good luck.

Answer 9

Considering that your children have a good home, two good parents in a good marriage, and you love the children you have - go for it. It is none of the friends and neighbors business - this is between you, your husband and (a little bit) your other children.

Answer 10

hey it is good that u have 4 kids n planning for another but think of that responsibility the eldest will have to face when all grow up n start thinking there ways the family will be no where & no sign of ur family